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Re: Life turned upside down. maybe recovery begins NEED HELP! where is everyone?
#1074983 07/14/03 10:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
M
MelodyLane Offline
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MelodyLane
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M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
Hurting, yes, I think a detached Plan A is in order. I don't know that I would feel comfortable with my spouse telling me that they loved someone else. That is a bit over the line and I would suggest telling her to be a bit more thoughtful in that regard. Just because you allowed her to come back does not give her license to be disrespectful and mentally abusive.
Re: Life turned upside down. maybe recovery begins NEED HELP! where is everyone?
#1074984 07/14/03 10:54 PM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 242
H
hurting12
Offline
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hurting12
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H Offline
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 242
Ok thanks. The ILY comes when she is hurting and we are talking R. I really don't think she is trying to hurt me there .she is just hurting real bad and trying to tell me why. It always brings tears to her.
Re: Life turned upside down. maybe recovery begins NEED HELP! where is everyone?
#1074985 07/15/03 07:15 AM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
B
ba109 Offline
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ba109
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
hurting,

I agree with mel, back off a bit. You seem to be too anxious to pressure her into marital recovery. She is still recovering from the demise of the A. One step at a time.

She has to like you again before she can Love you again. You are basically starting from scratch as in a completely new relationship. Don't try to pick up the marriage where it left off. The two of you have taken many, many steps backwards.

First you have to become likeable...THEN become Loveable. If she can Love you again, your M may recover.

jmho
ba109
Re: Life turned upside down. maybe recovery begins NEED HELP! where is everyone?
#1074986 07/15/03 07:59 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 279
T
TooOld4This Offline
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TooOld4This
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T Offline
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 279
Hurting, don't pressure her now. Just be there. There's nothing wrong in telling her that you understand how she's feeling about OM but that you just don't need to hear that "she loves him". You are her safe place right now. Help her but no recovery plan yet. She's not quite ready...but soon, maybe.
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