Just checking in.

<small>[ July 15, 2003, 06:38 AM: Message edited by: No2nos ]</small>

Thank you all for your time. There is alot of good people here.I just thought I would let you know I am going to finish Plan A and start Plan B in Aug. Good By

Ok, I will be needing some light here. I am going to that dark place you all talked about. I have followed some of the stuff you have posted. I was dressed looking good, I told him I know your here to see the kids not me,so I thought you would not mind I've got somethings to take care of. He looked very puzzled,I left. Yeserday I asked him if he was happy. He said so so. Then I asked if he thinks what we have done can be fixed? He said I don't know. I said, it can and walked away. I have been working on my plan B letter I hope to post it this weekend to see if it is ok. I am so scared. Of what I do not know. I have faced alot since all of this happened but this I just do not know. I felt alittle stupid posting before. I hope you all will understand I am scared and tired. I have read zacharymom and if she can do it so can I and mimi they are the ones right now that are giving me hope and I hope to God that all goes well for them also. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Just wanted to check in with you all. I was not going to post no more,like I said I was feeling dum. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I don't know why I have to just keep the faith in myself. Just be my lights if it gets real dark here in plan B. Thanks

no2

I am glad you are back...I was concerned that your one post just ended with goodbye..

You know your situation is a lot of cake of eating and fence sitting..

There have not been these monumental efforts of his part to really divorce or file..

I think your situation holds a lot of hope and promise...

Ok, I will be needing some light here. I am going to that dark place you all talked about. I have followed some of the stuff you have posted. I was dressed looking good, I told him I know your here to see the kids not me,so I thought you would not mind I've got somethings to take care of. He looked very puzzled,I left.

Good for you...good job....find confidence in you though...instead of I know you are here to see the kids...and thought you would not mind...(don't ask his permission to go out...does he call you and ask permission to be with the OW...
be strong and confident....meet him at the door looking good being excited to see him and say...
SHEESH...I am glad to see you!!! big smile...I thought I was gonna be late...gotta run...see you in a few!!!!!!!!!!!! bat eyes and bolt.!!!

You don't owe him an explanation....don't seek his permission to be an adult...

Plan B should feel right to you some where inside...plan b is protecting the last of love you hold onto..
plan b works best after a really good plan A...

plan a can occur even with a little bit of 180's thrown in...and always remember that boundary setting although can be viewed as a love buster...if they protect, you aren't.

why in Gods name would you feel dumb...once again you aren't...you've tackled a lot....
i really wish you wouldn't quit posting..there are a lot of kind people here...people who have stood where you are standing...don't isolate yourself from that....

Mr. man that comes over as much as HE does...and he that doesn't want to miss out on family fun day....this isn't over by a long shot....

plan old family fun day without him..take your family...good friends of both of yours...do it with out him...let him taste and feel the reality of his choices...and do it with kindness and without confrontation...

ARK

Thanks ark. I will keep posting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Should I have him here for sons birthday party? It is Aug 3.He will be five. I know he will want his dad here. What do I do? I think I should, then that Sunday mail him his Plan B letter. SHould I mail one to her also? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I know that will send him off his rocker mailing her one I have not done nothing to rock their boat, it has been smooth sailing for them as far as I know.

Just ckecking in.

Personally, I'd keep the OW out of whatever relationship that you continue to have with your WS. Her involvement with your husband has done enough damage in your life as well as your family. Giving her an "inch" of acknowledgement may the be token that she is looking for in order to ride a "mile" and then some. The problems from which your family suffers is between you and your spouse and whatever decisions that are made on behalf of your family unit is between you and your spouse.

This is my opinion and not necessarily the right way to handle a third-party intrusion. Sometimes less is best.

Please know that you are in no way, shape or form alone in your anxiety, distress and confusion among a zillion other emotional feelings. You are in very good company here at MB!

Thank you very much GeezLouise. I just don't know who all I should mail Plan B letter to. I feel I am in the right place to start plan B. I have gave him somethings to think about with the 180's I have been doing. My action is getting more from him then talking. So what should I do next? Want awhile for PlanB not long though and keep the 180's going? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Keep with the 180 thing! You seem to be witnessing a definite response from your hubby. Therefore, it's working. Give the 180 time to sink in for both of you. Hell, you may even like this "new" you and want to stick to it.

Plan B is intiated when nothing else seems to be working and when your love bank is so depreciated that you need to pull back in order to save whatever love you have left for him.

You gooooooo N2N :-Þ

Again thank you for reading my thread and posting to me. It is good to know you have someone to go to. Just got off work and was checking in will write later. H <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ave a nice day.