</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
If you were my boy, it would have been MR. PADDLE!! End of story! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ML she DID use Mr Paddle more times that I can remember <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> but I was sooo addicted to those sugary treats that I beleive Mr Paddle only enabled my addiction instead of curbing it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My point in telling him that story is that a lot of times (NOT always) letting go of our need to control another person's behavior and giving him/her what she wants can often result in that person doing what we wanted in the first place. Of course, his W is an adult and he cannot use such brazen and draconian tactics as my aunt's but he can buy her a couple of boxes of her favorite candy and give them to her in a nice, loving, pleasant manner. Remember that one thing that makes people crave destructive things is the forbidden aspect of them, but as soon as it is no longer forbidden, a lot of the allure loses its power. Besides, if no other much more positive tactics have worked to stop eating junk food, this last resort tactic is something that should be considered before Surge gives up on his W.

She has been eating the low-carb bars for the past few weeks but I don't think a lot of them. Lack of exercise may be the biggest problem. She has trouble with ecxema, especially on her feet, making it difficult. There's a vicious cycle going on - anxiety and stress bring on the ecxema and she can't exercise which leads to more anxiety and stress causing more eating, more anxiety, more ecxema..... I really believe there is some deeply buried fear in her whether it be about the molestation or self-esteem. Maybe they're connected. There have been many times she's cried and tells me she needs help but she will not make the call. I saw a counselor for awhile about some things for myself I wanted to work on. He also deals with anxiety problems and I thought he might be good for her to see seperately from me. She said yes, she wanted to see him, but has never called to make an appointment.... I can be there for her, I can give her phone numbers and websites , but she has to decide to do something with it... .... She's leaving next week for three weeks to visit her family. She's very apprehensive to be around them because they are all overeaters.

surge, it sounds like she is under terrible stress to lose weight. Can you do anything to alleviate her stress?

She won't have to exercise to lose weight on this diet, though. Of course it helps a little, but not much. I didn't lose an ounce from exercise but it really toned me up.

Just having 1 low carb bar a day can stall weight loss, however, it could be much more than that. There are several other reasons for stalls, too. If you want, you could print this up and give to her. Believe me, there is something wrong if she is in a 7 week stall.

http://www.low-carb.com/at-art5.html
http://www.lowcarb.org/plateaus.html
http://atkins.com/helpatkins/faqs/faqslow/index.html

I'm sure she's under incredible internal stress with this - her marriage is on the line, her life is on the line with a greatly increased risk of cancer directly related to her weight......... I believe the biggest help to her would be a support group but for some reason she keeps at this alone. And she's a very social kind of person.