mkn > After looking at your profile, I can now appreciate your bitterness toward my attitude in this matter. I never intended to cause anyone to become upset, just asking for insight and not condemnation.<P>Man, you are in such a sick marriage there, I don't think I need your advise. But here is some from me . . . . <P>Talk to a lawyer, and get over yourself. Why live with a woman who is sleeping with another man ? You two have grown apart, and even after I hear all the stuff about staying together for the kids . . . let's just hope they don't tell you what me and my siblings say to our parents today. Why did not you two divorce a long time ago ? All we wanted was for you two to be happy, and if this meant living separately, then maybe we would have been better off in the long run.

hello again Carlton,<P>Having yourself one hell of a time here, aren't ya?<P>Why subject yourself to this, even answering on other posts??<P>Carlton, you are having waaaay too much fun here, at our expense. You can justify all you want, but the bottom line is this: if this woman is yours to have you need to know that she did ALL SHE COULD TO REBUILD her marriage or this will come back to bite you in the butt. I wish you could understand that. <P>But here's the thing, Carlton. You are gonna do what you want no matter what we say. You are gonna be there for the wife of another because you love her. Okay, do it then. But don't expect us to sit by and watch you crash and burn. And, you will... there's no ifs, ands or butts about it. <P>I feel for you. Long, long, long road ahead.<P>The only other thought that occurs to me is that perhaps you aren't in this situation after all. Perhaps you just came here to yank our chains, stir us up (thanks, not like we're not already in pain) and go. If that's the case, show some compassion and go. We are ALL TRYING to REBUILD marriages that have been broken. We have ALL been in enough pain. <P>Oh, and chatwithu?? geez... what was that? Talk about a mistake.. neither of you chat with eachohter!

Carlton,<BR>You are absolutely right it is a very sick marriage, one that will not survive but that is the difference between you and I. I will hope and pray and work on my marriage until there is no marriage. 1 because I love my wife, 2 because I believe that a family is one of the most important things on this earth and 3 because I believe in marriage. I don't think you believe in anything except how you can feel good at the time and that is what makes you dangerous to other people.<BR>I know I am not going to change your mind and you are not going to change mine, I'm just glad I don't have to be around you....

Carlton<P>Did you get what you came for by posting here?<P>Did you get all the necessary info to help lure MWW away from her family?<P>You are very resourceful and now with all this knowledge I am sure you will use it to get closer to MWW feelings to fullfill your quest of taking and keeping MWW.<P>People like you are very bad to our society. You are the knowingly hurting MWW, her children and her H. I hope one day MWW will find out you used this WebSite for info on how to lure her away.

Toronto > Just looked at your profile . . . man, what an *******. Tapping your phone ? Whatever happened to respect of privacy, or is that lost with the marriage license.<P>And to think I even listened to your advice.<P>No, I did not come here to yank anyones chain. I came here to sincerely seek advice as to how I could better prepare myself for a future relationship with a dear lady who will most likely carry a lot of similar baggage with her that you all seem to cling to.<P>Man, tapping your phone ? Good grief, man. I never ever even ventured into a woman's pocket book in my entire life. Not my own sister's . . . .<P>That is so much insecurity that I feel sorry for you when she gets tired of you looking over her shoulder all the time. "You stopped it in time . . . " ? What, beat her [censored] ? <P>Come on folks, I am for real. You tell Chatwithme not to talk with me ? God, what a bunch of control freaks . . . <P>The advice here is so off the wall it is pathetic. So who really is playing the mindgames ? Me, or you ?<P>My God, and myself know that I am sincere and will continue to be as supportive as I can until the day comes when MWW and myself can walk together into, and sit down, in the same church without permission from those who would condemn us for seeking the love that was meant to be between a man and a woman . . . f

Carlton<P>Your comments clearly show your ignorance towards a cheating spouse and what it does to a commited family spouse. One will do whatever it takes to keep a family. For your information my W was releived to have been caught. Read more on cheating spouses before passing judgement.<P>You are nothing but a waste of valuable time using this site to gain insight on how to lure hurting vulnerable married women.<P>You lack compassion and respect for humans in general. You are only out for yourself and you have no business being here.<P>Please do us all a favor and stop posting here. I am starting to believe that you have some deep personal issues regarding this site and you are purposly wasting time and resources.<P>Beat it PUNK!<P>

Okay, Carlton! I may be suffering from sleep deprivation today, but I'm not that tired to see what you are doing. If no one has the guts to do it, then I WILL! You are one insensitive PR***. How dare you come onto this board, asking for advice, and then slamming people who are honestly trying to get their house in order. Where do you get off? As far as criticizing other relationships, what business is it of yours, anyway? If these people choose to stay in a relationship and try to make it work, who are you to condemn them for it? I would suggest that you go to the "Philanderer's Forum." They can give you advice on how to sneak around behind MWM's back, with MWW, how to cover your tracks, and best of all, they will be totally supportive in your actions. Your postings are certainly impressive, with all of the statistics you are tossing around, but, pal, if you talk to your MWW the same way you are talking here, you AIN'T never gonna get anything!!! You are a bore!!

Carlton<P>I for one am grateful you have posted. If nothing else you have confirmed to me that most OMs do not understand what they have got themselves into and are insecure in their relationship. They think just as selfishly as the betrayer and only hear what they want to hear. You have actually been given good advice, which would probably lead to a better future for the MWW, whether with you or her husband. You have chosen the more difficult path for you, her, her husband and most of all her children.

Awoken > Well, thank you. And yes, you may very well be correct as far as the path I am on here with MWW. Yep, it sure is scary one to follow alright. But then again, unconditional trust and love under these circumstances never was a walk in the park either. Do you know of any happily married couples where one or the other spouse is divorced ? Hmmmmmm . . . <P>So for me to even suggest that laying the foundation now for future relationships with ex-husbands or ex-wives is wrong ? I just don't get it. Is the bitterness I see here directed at me, or the reality that today's woman is freer to choose her own destiny to a degree never seen before in the history of mankind? Maybe this is growing pains. Who knows. But the idea of abandoning my friend to such ludicrous advice, all in the name of traditional values, is something that simply will not happen. If you knew me at all, then you would know that I mean what I say, and say what I mean. Sorry if I offended anyone. Was merely looking for some insight as to what she must be going through. With the treachorous feedback, I can only imagine what it must be like to have a man use all the manipulatives and coercions plausible to convince "their" wives to consider an alternative to serving their Master for some compensatory reward in an after-life. <P>Nah, God did not condemn divorce. Neither did Jesus. It happened back then, and is happening today. All that really matters is that you remember to love Him, more than "your" wife, or yourselves for that matter.

see what I mean ? No wonder the jerk has not been married at his age, I sincerely think the only relationship he can find is one where the other person has already lost their senses for one reason or the other.<P>PLEASE let this thread die!!!!!

Perhaps a "non-religious" person ought to step in here.<P>Carlton, I don't understand what you think you're going to get here, unless you're just a troll who likes to stir up trouble.<P>People here are working hard to rebuild their marriages. Some of them are currently separated, but hopeful. This would put them in the same position of your MWW. I think you're figuring that because your ladyfriend is separated and thinking of divorce, it means she's fair game.<P>And in her case, maybe it does.<P>But you can't expect to come around HERE, where separation does NOT necessarily mean a prelude to divorce, and expect people to applaud what you're doing. Frankly, I don't know how some of the people here do what they're doing. I'm not sure I could, although I always thought that mere SUSPICION would make me turn my H out on his *ss, and, well, here I am.<P>I don't like telling people to leave messageboards, and I'm not going to do so here. But I will tell you that you're NOT going to get what you're looking for here, unless what you're looking for is to stir up trouble. If that's the case, you've already succeeded.

Carlton, <BR>Please check your "rescue" for constructive suggestion.<BR>Dave