Dinner, and he tells you how good you make him feel - AND a smiley face from you.

And do you tell him how he makes you feel?

This better not be one sided.

Are you going to give us more background on him? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

C may be right, it could be before Christmas, but I suspect you will take it slow, and that you will know for sure before you sign anything.

May will be here soon, you will make it until then. I still hope you get one of these other jobs and that you really like it.

May you have a very good weekend. Relax and enjoy yourself - no reason not to.

SS

Oh, and also - When decorating - do it your way. The boys will get married and move away, and they can do their own any way they (or their wives) want. You do it how you like, and they can just live with it.

<small>[ February 26, 2004, 10:42 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hi
Yes I told I him how I feel- that he makes me feel special and cared for. Yesterday I arrived at 4pm and after a drink we went for a long walk. Once back to his house we had another drink and then on for a meal at a lovely country pub. then back for a last coffee before driving home. We get on really well- definitely lots of chemistry. He assures me I am fine at kissing (someting T used to say I was no good at) However one 'problem' we may have hit is my own moral views. He was obviously willing and wanting to go further than a quick cuddle and a few kisses, and although my body was more than willing - my own christian views mean I couldn't possibly consider going any further. He was a perfect gentleman and did send me a text message later to say I was right to leave when I did and he respected me for doing so. Its a an area I knew I could hit with any new relationship and so I must just progress slowly and pray that he will continue to be willing to follow Gods guidelines. That said I have been praying that if this isn't right it will end very quickly so that neither of us gets hurt. So far I feel very postive aout it.

Jante <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi, Yes I told I him how I feel- that he makes me feel special and cared for.

It's always nice to get a mutual appreciation society going. Very good for the self esteem after a long painful separation and D.

Yesterday I arrived at 4pm and after a drink we went for a long walk. Once back to his house we had another drink and then on for a meal at a lovely country pub. then back for a last coffee before driving home.

And I thought you didn't drink anything except a little wine every now and again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

We get on really well- definitely lots of chemistry. He assures me I am fine at kissing (something T used to say I was no good at)

Hmmmmmmm, and how would he KNOW that? Oh wait - I think I see. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Just goes to show you that you can't believe everything T says. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


However one 'problem' we may have hit is my own moral views. He was obviously willing and wanting to go further than a quick cuddle and a few kisses, and although my body was more than willing - my own christian views mean I couldn't possibly consider going any further.

I see from the way you use the word 'problem' that there are questions in your mind. Maybe that is not the right way to say it - but I can't think of a better one yet. You know your moral views are not the problem - because they are correct.

You know how I am sometimes - so just read along and comment if you wish.

Our body is created on this earth, and it is the pull we feel to do what feels good. Eat as much as we want, sleep in, in the morning, and - well, you know.

Our spirit comes to us from God, and it is the part of us that wants to better our life. Wants to obey God, wants to return and report a job well done. ( as in - "Well done thou good and faithful servant, You have been faithful in a few things, I will make thee ruler over many" He may even say "you can have the biggest, most grand kitchen you can even imagine, but that is a topic for another day.

We have conflict inside of ourselves when we want something the body pulls us into, but our spirit knows it is not for our greatest good. It is very difficult when we have feelings for someone - to stop. It was God that set marriage as the threshold for going further - and he did it for our good. Our happiness depends on listening to him, and doing what he suggests. Well, you already know this, and it is not new to you, but I wanted you to know that others agree with you. It's a hard lesson to teach our children - they want what they want, and it is hard to get them to see that it is not good for us to always have want we want.

I have seen (from being on MB) that God knows what he is doing when he asks us to wait. I have seen it over and over again - trouble comes from not listening. Also this gives you information on what kind of person you are dating - and what his true beliefs are.


He was a perfect gentleman and did send me a text message later to say I was right to leave when I did and he respected me for doing so. Its a an area I knew I could hit with any new relationship and so I must just progress slowly and pray that he will continue to be willing to follow Gods guidelines.

I know I shouldn't worry, but I do. The mother of a very good friend of mine found herself dating a few years ago, and she had to contend with this same problem. Those feelings are very strong in us, and that is a blessing when they are used in the bond of marriage to strengthen the love between H and W. It is so sad when they are used outside of M. After what you went through with T, you would know better than I the pain and heartache that causes.

I hope he stays strong, and leads you in the right direction. YOU should not have to be the one that stops things. Perhaps I am being TOO protective - but after all, that's part of my job.

If you want, I can talk about something else, like radishes, or oatmeal, or - something.

I wonder - do you have a list of qualifications you are looking for - something like

1. Attends church without having to be pushed.
2. Stops tickling when asked to do so.
3. Knows how to wire a kitchen.
4. Good kisser

And so on .......................

I would be interested to know just what you are looking for.

That said I have been praying that if this isn't right it will end very quickly so that neither of us gets hurt. So far I feel very postive about it.

I hope you are able to know easily what is right. Understand I am not talking down about him, but he darn well better be careful with you - you are not just any ordinary girl.

I know that all of us get those feelings, it is what we do with them that defines who we are. I hope he comes through this looking very good, I have to think you will.

Well, I hope this school week is being nice to you. I hope boys are helpful and obedient.

S still struggles with lots of things. He wants to be free, but he doesn't quite have the skills yet to be on his own.

I suppose it may be like the boy that wanted to swim in the river, and his father knew that he wasn't a strong enough swimmer to handle the current. Finally he had enough of the complaining and he threw the boy in - and then after he went under for about the third time the father swam over and pulled him out. It seems that the boy didn't ask again to swim in the deep parts of the river.

Maybe I just need to throw him into life and them help him so he doesn't sink. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

So, I'll close by asking:
Do you have another date lined up?
Some of us want to know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
SS

Hi SS
Fairly quiet week here.

And I thought you didn't drink anything except a little wine every now and again. I don't they wer cups of decafinated coffee I was drinking!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just goes to show you that you can't believe everything T says.
I realise that- in fact I wonder if I can believe anything he says! Still waiting for
details of his financial advisor to be sent to me!
My comment on my 'problem' asn't questioning my moral values moe the application of them in this relationship and the fact it might lead to us ceasing to see each other if he psued the physical side. However at this time it isn't presenting a major problem. My minister had spokn only 2 weeks ago on 1 Thes 4- if I had needed reminding of Gos word on sexual purity so I am not worried about knowing what is the right thing to do. As I said to J on Saturday night I had to face my God afterwards!!
I wonder - do you have a list of qualifications you are looking for -
Well yes I do have a list
1. Loves God
2. I kind caring and thoughtful
3. Is good around the boys ( though it ill be a while before we put that one to the test)
4. Is happy to talk things through until we solve it.
5. Has same values as me as regards money and credit.
So far J scores highly on all that have come up. Only time will tell about the rest.
Oh well lots o do around the house. J and I are meeting for dinner again this weekend, and slthough he was vey reluctant at first I have persuaded him to allow me to bless him by paying for it.
Have a good week
Jante

Hi SS
Fairly quiet week here.

And I thought you didn't drink anything except a little wine every now and again. I don't they were cups of decaffinated coffee I was drinking!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just goes to show you that you can't believe everything T says.
I realise that- in fact I wonder if I can believe anything he says! Still waiting for
details of his financial advisor to be sent to me!
My comment on my 'problem' asn't questioning my moral values more the application of them in this relationship and the fact it might lead to us ceasing to see each other if he pursued the physical side. However at this time it isn't presenting a major problem. My minister had spoken only 2 weeks ago on 1 Thes 4- if I had needed reminding of Go word on sexual purity so I am not worried about knowing what is the right thing to do. As I said to J on Saturday night I had to face my God afterwards!!
I wonder - do you have a list of qualifications you are looking for -
Well yes I do have a list
1. Loves God
2. Is kind caring and thoughtful
3. Is good around the boys ( though it will be a while before we put that one to the test)
4. Is happy to talk things through until we solve it.
5. Has same values as me as regards money and credit.
So far J scores highly on all that have come up. Only time will tell about the rest.
Oh well lots to do around the house. J and I are meeting for dinner again this weekend, and slthough he was vey reluctant at first I have persuaded him to allow me to bless him by paying for it.
Have a good week
Jante
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My comment on my 'problem' isn't questioning my moral values more the application of them in this relationship and the fact it might lead to us ceasing to see each other if he pursued the physical side. However at this time it isn't presenting a major problem.

Often I go on and on when I don't need to. Just kick me under the table, and I'll quit.

My minister had spoken only 2 weeks ago on 1 Thes 4- if I had needed reminding of Go word on sexual purity so I am not worried about knowing what is the right thing to do. As I said to J on Saturday night I had to face my God afterwards!!

OK, I won't worry QUITE so much. I know it's probalby not my job anyway, but last week when I spoke to your Mum she asked me to - Oops, I wasn't supposed to mention that. Sorry -


Well yes I do have a list
1. Loves God
2. Is kind caring and thoughtful
3. Is good around the boys ( though it will be a while before we put that one to the test)
4. Is happy to talk things through until we solve it.
5. Has same values as me as regards money and credit.
So far J scores highly on all that have come up. Only time will tell about the rest.

I like the list. I hope he qualifies.

Oh well lots to do around the house. J and I are meeting for dinner again this weekend, and although he was vey reluctant at first I have persuaded him to allow me to bless him by paying for it.

You are so cute.
Let us know about this one also, and....................and you can quit talking about it any time you want. One of these days J may take over for me - just let me know.

Looks like time to retire for us, I hope you had a very nice evening and that tomorrow is better still.

Later edit -
Leaving Monday on business trip. Wishing you well until I return.
SS

<small>[ March 07, 2004, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hi
Thanks SS
I had a lovely time yesterday with J. He is so kind and understanding. I needed to purchase a new fire and surround and he went with me to help choose it.We then had a lovely afternoon out in the countryside, and dinner before he went home and I went to spend the night with a friend as T was at my house with the children. We have now got our diaries together to plan the future weekends. He is also considering coing with me to the next weekend with my friends I met from the other board.
J is becoming very supportive to me. Last weekend just before I met J I had a difficult tel.call with T who denied having been iven a date for him to have the children even though I knew i'd asked him twice. His reason for not having the cildren was his g/f's birthday.
He then blamed me for his debts and so didn't accept he should share his pension!! However he has iven wy on that one!

Lovely to hear about your granddaughter.
Jante

Sounds like T is still up to his old tricks. I keep thinking he will catch on, and learn something <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

This J fellow better take good care of you - and it sounds like he is. That is good - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Your relationship seems to be progressing swiftly in the right direction. You know enough to understand if he is the kind of person for you.

I trust you to be careful and do things the right way.

Now I can hardly wait until the boys meet him and see what they say. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Your friends may have words of wisdom for you after they meet him also - ask them.

The tone of your post is very, very uplifting, and I consider this a good thing. Hope it continues.

SS

Hi

Well had a lovely weekend. Friday night the boys went off to their dads and I went to Js where he cooked a meal for us. Had a really nice time though still some debate as to ou understanding of the right time and place for moving to a physical relationship. However he is not pushing me and understands my viewpoint though not agreeing with it. I still feel relaxed with him. Went from there to my sister who only lives a 10 minute drive away. Stayed the night and then Saturday moning we drove up to my mums, ready to go out with her and our other sister for dinner to celebrate mothers day and mums birthday. Then last night when I got back from my mums, J phoned tosay he was in the area could he pop ound for coffee. He did and met the boys. It was a bried introduction then they went off to do their own thing but at least they have met. They all seemed to be happy and have said they thought he was ok!
We won't be able to meet again for a fortnight as he had already made arrangements to be away next w/e but it will make meting again then all the more exciting!

Hope you are all doing well with the new babies
Jante
ps since posting that, I've heard from J and hes going to spend next Satuday here with me and the children just helping out with jbs around the house and then in the evening we'll go out while D baysits. It feels so right somehow.

<small>[ April 02, 2004, 02:01 PM: Message edited by: jante ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi J,
Thanks for bumping it up - somehow I missed it the first time.


Well had a lovely weekend.

Well, it is so nice to know you are not lonely - that you have things to look foreword to.

Friday night the boys went off to their dads and I went to Js where he cooked a meal for us. Had a really nice time though still some debate as to ou understanding of the right time and place for moving to a physical relationship. However he is not pushing me and understands my viewpoint though not agreeing with it.

I am not sure why he does not agree with it - I think God makes it pretty plain that the right time is when you are married. AND, if you are NOT married, it is NOT the right time. I know you are a big girl, I try not to worry.

Oh - and also, is he a good cook ?


I still feel relaxed with him.

That is good, it means you don't feel preasure.

Went from there to my sister who only lives a 10 minute drive away. Stayed the night and then Saturday moning we drove up to my mums, ready to go out with her and our other sister for dinner to celebrate mothers day and mums birthday.

Was wondering how your Mum and sisters are. Sounds very good. Did you miss J? That would tell me a lot.


Then last night when I got back from my mums, J phoned to say he was in the area could he pop ound for coffee. He did and met the boys. It was a bried introduction then they went off to do their own thing but at least they have met. They all seemed to be happy and have said they thought he was ok!

Does he have children of his own? If so, how old are they? It must have felt good for the boys to meet him and not be negative - sometimes they are just so they can see how you react.


We won't be able to meet again for a fortnight as he had already made arrangements to be away next w/e but it will make meting again then all the more exciting!

Someone reading here might think you were in love. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hope you are all doing well with the new babies

Somehow it is easier to be a grandparent than a parent. It is very enjoyable - more than I thought it would be.

ps since posting that, I've heard from J and hes going to spend next Satuday here with me and the children just helping out with jbs around the house and then in the evening we'll go out while D baysits. It feels so right somehow.

By now, you ought to know.
Just so you know, this is how I think of you:
Proverbs 31: 10 through about 28

If he cares for you and protcts you and shows you that he thinks of you in this way then it ought to feel right. I encourage you to continue to pray about this, God knows.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

SS

<small>[ April 04, 2004, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hi SS

Thought I&#8217;d try and address the issues you have raised.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am not sure why he does not agree with it - I think God makes it pretty plain that the right time is when you are married. AND, if you are NOT married, it is NOT the right time. I know you are a big girl, I try not to worry. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree, but the main reason he feels that now would be the right time is based on his past experience. J became a Christian 6 years ago. He had two marriages as a non christian along with other relationships, in his experience a growing deepening relationship includes sex. I am the first person he has though about having any sort of relationship with who is a Christian. I have realised that he hadn&#8217;t thought in terms of a relationship deepening by praying together, worshipping together and studying Gods word together. I have emailed him suggesting that these are ways we can move our relationship on without going against Gods word.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">h - and also, is he a good cook ? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Certainly the meal he cooked for me was good! J


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I still feel relaxed with him. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is good, it means you don't feel pressure.

No, no pressure and after I left him he emailed me telling me to forget about sex and just go on baking fruit cakes for him. J


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Was wondering how your Mum and sisters are. Sounds very good. Did you miss J? That would tell me a lot. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes I missed him, though only a bit as I was so busy- but I did talk about him a lot!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Does he have children of his own? If so, how old are they? It must have felt good for the boys to meet him and not be negative - sometimes they are just so they can see how you react.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes he has 4 children- 2 girls from is marriage aged 32 and 28. Their mum ran off with his work colleague when the girls were very young but he has maintained contact with them through the years and they are close and a great support to him. Then he has a girl 17, and a boy 15 from his second marriage. Their mum threw him out and moved in her boyfriend a couple of years after he became a Christian and cited his Christianity as reason for the divorce. The boy is a very good friend with my nephew we have found out!!! These children live near enough to visit him weekly which they do as they want to &#8211; know fixed visiting times but they do like to spend time at his home. My boys are fairly balse about him it seems.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Someone reading here might think you were in love. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I suppose some might- but I&#8217;m not sure yet what I would say!!!!!!!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just so you know, this is how I think of you:
Proverbs 31: 10 through about 28
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you for that!! My goal in life has always been to fulfil this scripture unfortunately T set more store by Song of Solomon and felt I fell short of that!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If he cares for you and protects you and shows you that he thinks of you in this way then it ought to feel right. I encourage you to continue to pray about this, God knows.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Have prayed from the start for Gods guidance and word- I didn&#8217;t want it to develop and then finish, hurting either him or me as we have both hurt so much in the past.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I hope you have a great Easter weekend with your family.
Jante

I agree, but the main reason he feels that now would be the right time is based on his past experience. J became a Christian 6 years ago. He had two marriages as a non christian along with other relationships, in his experience a growing deepening relationship includes sex. I am the first person he has though about having any sort of relationship with who is a Christian. I have realised that he hadn&#8217;t thought in terms of a relationship deepening by praying together, worshipping together and studying Gods word together. I have emailed him suggesting that these are ways we can move our relationship on without going against Gods word.

I am impressed with your suggestions for him. I can see now that he does not have the same background as you - and it takes time for the things we learn to be intregrated into our lives.

I hope these suggestions of yours help him - I know they will help you.

Were it not for Gods kindness in teaching us, I think it would be natural to want to include sex in a growing relationship, but God saves us from so much pain (which pain can be plainly seen on MB, if a person reads there much) if we will follow his teachings. I can tell from reading your replies that you are doing well with this.

No, no pressure and after I left him he emailed me telling me to forget about sex and just go on baking fruit cakes for him.

Ah, the famous fruit cakes - lucky J. Maybe someday the rest of us will get to try one.

Yes I missed him, though only a bit as I was so busy- but I did talk about him a lot!!!

And...............what did your mum and your sisters have to say???????

Thanks for the information about his family. It helps to get a feel for what kind of person he is. Of course I trust your judgement - but I reserve the right to change my mind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My boys are fairly balse about him it seems.
That is much better than then not liking him. It means they are wondering, but don't dare show much interrest. I think you don't need to worry about then not liking him then - but be ready for them to pretend not to like him if you get really serious. If they can see he cares about them, that will go away quickly. I think it may be C that has the most difficult time, for he depends upon you more emotionally and he may fear the most.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Someone reading here might think you were in love.

I suppose some might- but I&#8217;m not sure yet what I would say!!!!!!!!!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So, you are taking this carefully. Do you see why I think so highly of you? From your responses, you are doing things right - I make suggestions and you have already done them before I get them written. I should probably go find someone that needs help. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I suspect you will know if it turns into something more than friendship.

Thank you for that!! My goal in life has always been to fulfil this scripture unfortunately T set more store by Song of Solomon and felt I fell short of that!

I don't know if you fell short, - I would say the trouble mostly his. Probably you could have done better in some areas, but that applies to all of us. T could have talked to you and requested counseling if that was not enough, but he did not. No, even though many men have a higher libdo than their wives, I don't think you need feel you did not measure up, for I believe you would have tried harder, and done more had you known his feelings. That is something you would need to discuss with J at some point - but probably not yet. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Have prayed from the start for Gods guidance and word- I didn&#8217;t want it to develop and then finish, hurting either him or me as we have both hurt so much in the past.

I worry mostly about you - but you bring up a good point that both of you have been hurt. I can feel the strength and........whats the right term? Confidence? Your whole attitide is brighter, and you are more sure of yourself now. I am able to relax a little more - about you - I don't worry nearly so much....but we still have an enemy trying to destroy us, so the prayers will continue.


Whatever happened with the possibility of D riding a scooter? Has that been taken care of to your satisfaction?

I hope you have a great Easter weekend with your family.

We hope all of you do also !!!
AND, that the very positive updates continue.

Wishing you luck, and happiness.

SS

<small>[ April 08, 2004, 04:09 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hi SS

Alleluia Christ is Risen! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Had a lovely day yesterday with J.He came in time for dinner - I did a roast turkey dinner for us all, the boys ate with us. They were rather quiet to start with- but A and C became chatty as the meal went on. D had only just got up so was still very sleepy and so dind't chat at all but that's normal. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
After lunch the boys went to play with friends and J and I took my dog for a long walk, when we returned home he helped me move a pile of rubble into a skip. It was fun working together to get it done although J would have been happy for me to stay in the house and he do it on his own. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
After some tea we went to the cinema while D babysat the others. We saw the Passion of Christ. It was very moving and I'm glad that I was with him when I saw it.
We have plans for J to spend next saturday here again and then he's invited me to accompany him to a church dedication next sunday afternoon. It will be an opportunity to meet a lot of his friends at once in a relaxed atmosphere. He is taking note of my suggestions earlier in the week!
As you can see we are slowly growing in our relationship. It was good after the cinema to discuss and study parts of Gods word together to clarify some aspects of the film, and to hear his own testimony of Gods action in his life. I continue to pray that Gods will be done and His name glorified.

Have a great holiday time.
Jante

Hi SS
Alleluia Christ is Risen!
HI J, thanks for the wonderful greeting!!
He is, and that is such a wonderful promise for us.

Had a lovely day yesterday with J.He came in time for dinner - I did a roast turkey dinner for us all, the boys ate with us. They were rather quiet to start with- but A and C became chatty as the meal went on. D had only just got up so was still very sleepy and so dind't chat at all but that's normal.

Normal for S too. Unless he wants to cause us grief. Sometimes when boys come to pick up L (19 now) for dates, he answers the door and makes them answer questions before he lets them in. Things like: "How old are you? Are you gainfully employed? Have you finished college yet? "

He caught the boy (that ended up marrying our oldest daughter) one night and kept him outside for 15 minutes answering questions before we caught him and let the poor boy in.

After lunch the boys went to play with friends and J and I took my dog for a long walk, when we returned home he helped me move a pile of rubble into a skip. It was fun working together to get it done although J would have been happy for me to stay in the house and he do it on his own.

Good, the man can work. Always a good sign.

You know, I like it when W and I work together too. It's more fun to do it with someone whose company you enjoy than to do it alone.

After some tea we went to the cinema while D babysat the others. We saw the Passion of Christ. It was very moving and I'm glad that I was with him when I saw it.


I don't know if I could stand to see it. I cry all the time, and the kids tease me.
I am still thinking about it - not kidding.

We have plans for J to spend next saturday here again and then he's invited me to accompany him to a church dedication next sunday afternoon. It will be an opportunity to meet a lot of his friends at once in a relaxed atmosphere. He is taking note of my suggestions earlier in the week!
As you can see we are slowly growing in our relationship.

This is a good thing. I am glad he is responding in ways that you need him too. Shows you have good judgement. Shows he respects you. When someone really loves you, they respect your feelings and don't try to talk you into things you are not comfortable with.

It was good after the cinema to discuss and study parts of Gods word together to clarify some aspects of the film, and to hear his own testimony of Gods action in his life. I continue to pray that Gods will be done and His name glorified.

I continue to pray for your family - for the best possible outcome for all of you.


I was hoping to get some rest - but it never happened. Oh well, maybe next week. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You still sound happier - makes me smile.

SS

Hi SS

J and I have had a good weekend. We have sent more time together , but in th company of others mainly.

Good, the man can work. Always a good sign.
Yes and he offered to cut my large hedge yesterday but in the end I put him off for another occasion and we went walking with the dog instead <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You know, I like it when W and I work together too. It's more fun to do it with someone whose company you enjoy than to do it alone. So true, and its good to realised we can work as a team.

I don't know if I could stand to see it. I cry all the time, and the kids tease me.

J felt the same way about it but wanted to see it to e able to talk to his d about it as she had been very affected by it. He said afterwards he was glad he was with me- it did move him to tears.


This is a good thing. I am glad he is responding in ways that you need him too. Shows you have good judgement. Shows he respects you. When someone really loves you, they respect your feelings and don't try to talk you into things you are not comfortable with.
We did as planned and he came yesterday and friends of mne came to dinner with us. It was a little surreal as they were friends of T and I and so it seemed strange that he wasn't there and J was but it was very relaxed as well. I did a meal that I was compimented on but I enjoy cooking for people who enjoy eating it so it was great fun.

Today I attended a dedication of a building linked with the curch that J is part of so I met lots of his friends including his pastor and J also met my sister who said afterwars he was nice - and much nicer than T who she now tells me she never liked!!!!

She has given a favourable report back to my mum <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


Thanks for your prayers.


I trust you got a rest this last week- I have enjoyed te holiday. I have been looking to my future- I know God knows what He has planned for me- but I don't know it myself yet. I finish at the school soon, I didn't get the nursery job and so am praying and seeking other avenues. I feel drawn to some aspect of working with mums and children toether at an early stage to try and overcome so many problems I see in school.

You still sound happier - makes me smile.
Thanks I have been told I go around with a permanent smile on my face these days.

Well time to go to bed but I trust all is well with you and your family.

Jante

SS

J felt the same way about it (Passion of Christ) but wanted to see it to e able to talk to his d about it as she had been very affected by it. He said afterwards he was glad he was with me- it did move him to tears.

Are his children Christians? Or perhaps a better question - do THEY consider them selves Christians? If not, it could start them to thinking.


We did as planned and he came yesterday and friends of mine came to dinner with us. It was a little surreal as they were friends of T and I and so it seemed strange that he wasn't there and J was but it was very relaxed as well. I did a meal that I was compimented on but I enjoy cooking for people who enjoy eating it so it was great fun.

I can understand how it would feel odd with the friends. It is good though, it means you are dealing with those feelings. It has to happen sometime unless you wanted to stay single forever.
Sounds like everyone enjoyed eating - what did you make? (I admit I like eating - I am eating lunch now, and since food is being discussed, I may as well ask.)

Oh, and what do you consider your specialty - what do you like to fix most of all? Or what are you best at? Remember, I asked, it isn't considered bragging to answer a direct question.

Today I attended a dedication of a building linked with the curch that J is part of so I met lots of his friends including his pastor and J also met my sister who said afterwars he was nice - and much nicer than T who she now tells me she never liked!!!!

I thought about this quite a while. Not the building dedication - though I am glad you were able to attend with J. I thought about what your sister said. I wonder why she would say it.......often others (becasuse they are distant) can better see the big picture. I encourage you to ask your sister if she can elaborate on her feeings for you. It would really be interresting to see what the reasons are for what she said. I am thinking you might get some valueable insight into your prior relationship that may help your future. I think you are skillful enough now, after coming here for over two years to ask your Sister - probe her thoughts and get feedback from her. I really think there may be something there for you to learn.

It may also be valueable to ask her what she sees as J's good points, and what she sees as his bad points. You could get some good information there too. If she confirms what you already think, it means you are safer. If she sees things that you have not, you ought to watch more, and take longer.

She has given a favourable report back to my mum

Last time I talked to your Mum, I gave a pretty favourable report too - mostly about you. She told me you SEEMED to be doing well, but that she would keep an eye on you.


I trust you got a rest this last week- I have enjoyed the holiday.
Not much rest here. However the yard is looking nice, and I helped my Father in his yard too - and his is doing well.

I have been looking to my future- I know God knows what He has planned for me- but I don't know it myself yet.

It has been likened to walking into a dark room. We can only see a few feet in front of us, and we take steps into the dark, trusting that all will be well. Though God loves all and wants to help everyone, he doesn't take away freedom of choice. T made choices that I fear he will never recover from. You made other choices and you are doing very well personally. I think you have found that our happines - though tied closely to our H or W, does not really depend on them. You don't need to fear your future. I really don't think you do fear it, but some apprehension is normal. We don't much like the unknown.


I finish at the school soon, I didn't get the nursery job and so am praying and seeking other avenues. I feel drawn to some aspect of working with mums and children toether at an early stage to try and overcome so many problems I see in school.

I will continue to pray for help for you - that you may know what to do. I know he wants you to be happy.

Thanks I have been told I go around with a permanent smile on my face these days.

I won't repeat what your mum told me, but it was along those lines.

Well time to go to bed but I trust all is well with you and your family.

Things are well. Both of the new babies are doing really well, and their parents seem happy too. I wish I could retire, and go on a long holiday - but that's not very likely to happen, so I'll just be happy anyway.

Work continues to be work, but our family has fun as we go along.

You have not said much about the boys lately, so I think they must be doing well. I hope they are - and you being happy should reflect back to them too.

All the best -

SS

Hi SS
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Are his children Christians? Or perhaps a better question - do THEY consider them selves Christians? If not, it could start them to thinking.


</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No is children aren't christians, though Jim continues to pray and take opportunity to share the good news with them where appropriate.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds like everyone enjoyed eating - what did you make? (I admit I like eating - I am eating lunch now, and since food is being discussed, I may as well ask.)

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL The meal was- melon, sorbet and forest fruit coulis, followed by pork loin stuffed with apricot with a cream and wine sauce, and accompanying vegatables. Then the dessert was strawberry cream cups and we finished with cheese and biscuits. Along with good company it was a lovely time. I love cooking for people and am told I am good, but its hard to choose something I am best at or prefer cooking.

My sisters reasons for saying what she did about T, she felt that he was arrogant, made me into a doormat and was too hash with the children. These are her views and she didn't share them with me when I was married. She felt that from the little she saw of J, he was the opposite!

Workwise, things are a little easier in the classroom and I'm looking forward to three weeks time when I leave. I'v applied for a job working with chilcren and parents- first stage intervention before social services get involved. I've also applied to be a volunteer 'mothers friend' for new mums and babies. Its with a charity that I've been aware of for years but haven't had the available time to work with them. Now the boys are older I feel its time to get involved.

Ah well time to get on with housework.
Jante

Hi J,

I came back to post, got interrupted, and now I don't have time to do what I wanted. You will just have to take this short one I suppose.


No is children aren't christians, though Jim continues to pray and take opportunity to share the good news with them where appropriate.

It's important that he do the best he can, but that is all he can really do.


LOL

I laughted when I wrote the question too -

The meal was- melon, sorbet and forest fruit coulis, followed by pork loin stuffed with apricot with a cream and wine sauce, and accompanying vegatables. Then the dessert was strawberry cream cups and we finished with cheese and biscuits. Along with good company it was a lovely time. I love cooking for people and am told I am good, but its hard to choose something I am best at or prefer cooking.

Now I am hungry, I should have waited to read this AFTER a meal. Sorry I missed it - must come round next time.


Once, I saw some of the menus for Levan, and you must be good. I know it is hard to answer questions like that - and you are modest and it would be hard for you to actually say you were "best" at something. Thanks for humoring me and telling me what you had. You can laugh some more if you want.

My sisters reasons for saying what she did about T, she felt that he was arrogant, made me into a doormat and was too hash with the children. These are her views and she didn't share them with me when I was married. She felt that from the little she saw of J, he was the opposite!

That tells me a lot - things you never talked about before. When you live with someone, it is easy to get used to them, and compensate for them. Arrogance often leads to .........to right where T is now. I am so sorry.

He may not have been as bad as your sister thinks, but I would guess she is not entirely wrong. I hope J is different - and it sounds like he is. We still pray that you will know FOR SURE.

Workwise, things are a little easier in the classroom and I'm looking forward to three weeks time when I leave. I'v applied for a job working with chilcren and parents- first stage intervention before social services get involved.

You have talent, you are smart, and you have empathy for others. I think you will do well if you are able to get the job. I see you quickly improved at teaching, even if it was a hard start. You don't sound nearly as worried about the job now as you did in January. I don't know if that is life in general (with a capital J) or if the teaching is better and you believe in your self more now.


I've also applied to be a volunteer 'mothers friend' for new mums and babies. Its with a charity that I've been aware of for years but haven't had the available time to work with them. Now the boys are older I feel its time to get involved.

I know it is very helpful for a new mother to have advice from someone that has done it before and knows what to expect. Having grandchildren brings it all back for me - and I remember how nice it was to have W's mother give us advice when we were new parents. My mother had good advice on how to treat boys too - and it helped.

Ah well time to get on with housework.

Never goes away, does it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I have to go now too - I am taking the boys (thatI teach on Sundays) to a friut orchard to thin fruit. It is all raised and canned to give to those in need - homeless, and people out of jobs etc. We try to teach the boys that it is important to give service to others - and I notice it makes them feel good to help.

Oh well, I did almost the long post I intended. Good thing I am not there in person, I would probably talk you to sleep.

We are doing a short hike Friday night and Saturday with the 14, 15, 16, and 17 year old boys. Send D around friday afternoon if he wants to go. Is A 14 yet? he could go too. I think he is only 13, but my mind is not very sharp lately.

J, it is good to hear so much good in your life. It is so wonderful - and I am so happy for you.
Tell "J" hi from all of us here at MB.

I just thought of something - J&J.

Ho, Ho, I better go, I have been thinking much too long.
LOL.

SS

hi
I just thought of something - J&J.

What is even funnier is that our full initial are both JEH!!!

I trust you had a good time with the boys! D was out with his friends Friday evening I'm afraid. Hes had tests in school all week so they all went out to relax. He is behaving himself these days which is good to see. He has had some results for science back- earlier in the year he got a C and a D but this time he got 2 B's so we are really proud of him.

The other 2 are enjoying the improvement in the weather and are out a lot with friends. They seem quite accepting of J and will chat with him when he is here. So far we haven't done anything other than eat all together.

J came again yesterday and built my new wardroe for me. I enjoyed acting as helper! We then went out to dinner in the evening and he initiated a conversation about where we were at in our relationship. Both agree that we are enjoying each others company- only seeing each other, but that neither of us are ready for a deeper commitment. We both still have healing to do and also are enjoying our own space for dscovering ho we are as well as the time we spend together.
We are meeting for a drink Monday night as its a Holiday here in Enland.
Time for church
Have a blessed day
Jante