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HI//
<small>[ February 08, 2004, 02:30 AM: Message edited by: Lovely ]</small>
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uummm
well as long as you are enjoying yourself and feel good about your actions and choices...that's all that matters...
why are you "here"...I didn't quite catch that part?...
ARK
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I knew that question would come up and frankly I'm not sure. Do you think the way I feel is not so uncommon? I guess deep down I would like to feel something different but I just don't have it in me to care that much to stop. I feel like I'm so far gone now that I can't evencome back to shore. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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If it's insulting to acknowledge the fact that you are selfish and self-centered, then consider this as an official insult. If, on the other hand, you can acknowledge the truth, face reality, and be accountable, then let me know if I can help. I will not play games with you or enable you to feel good about your poor decision. Maybe it's time to grow up and quit hurting yourself and H. Let us know.
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by DIAMOND GIRL:
I just don't have it in me to care that much to stop. QUOTE]
Then, why should anyone else care?
Pep
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Fellow MB members this person (DIAMOND GIRL) sounds like a troll.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> There's no fog here. Just enjoying my self for the first time in a long time! Why does this feel ok to me when I know it shouldn't?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hmmm... Fog maybe?
Real simple, if screwing around and cheating is Ok and feels good and you are enjoying yourself go for it, sounds like a plan.
Of course you should not whine if your husband goes out and nails your sister tomorrow just because it's fun.
I have a feeling that you are full of crap - you are hurt that he cheated, then decided to act like a petulant child and get even. Did you stick your tongue out and say "Nanny-nanny Poo-Poo" while you were at it????
IF you know what you did was wrong and IF you are interested in a marriage then this is a wonderful place to start. If you are here to tell us that the cure for having been betrayed is to betray then well... the troll comment comes close.
Which is it? There are folks here who want help and little time to waste on those who think whatever feels good is OK, pick a side...
Want help? we'll be nice and helpful, want validation? Get a dog.
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Diamond Girlie,
If life is so grand and you have no guilt, remorse or conscience about having an affair, then why ohhhhh why are you here?
Think about it. Are you trying to get us to say that you had a right to get revenge on your husband for his affair. Not gonna happen. You have just added more baggage than you're going to know what to do with when your affair starts to crumble around you.
JMVHO .... but please be careful. Your smugness may bite you in the butt here soon, Hon.
Lv,
Jo
<small>[ October 01, 2003, 01:55 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>
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HI//
<small>[ February 08, 2004, 02:12 AM: Message edited by: Lovely ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I've heard that you folks are pretty harsh here and now I see why. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Interesting comment. Come drifting over from the TOW board?
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by DIAMOND GIRL:
but I right now am feeling no guilt at all about my A.
As a matter of fact, it feels good.
I feel alive.
However something died between us
no guilt whatsoever
Just enjoying my self
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So what?
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Your life won't just change. It takes a consious decision before you can begin to turn your life around. You seem to have made your decision already.
No one here will be able to "convince" you to make a decision, and you cannot be helped by people here until you decide that you want things to change in your M and your life. Once you do that, I think you'll get a better response.
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by DIAMOND GIRL:
Is this how you treat all trying to reach out?
[QUOTE]
Trying to reach out for what?
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If you want your M , then
DUMP the other man
Tell your H
Go get some IC
Go to MC
But if you are happy without fog and not remorsefull then you need to find a different place for support for that .
If you want to know why you feel like you do well only you have that answer .
Or maybe your head is stuck in a spot in your body that it is being squeezed to tight and you you should pull it out and relize this is going to hurt your H and although he did it 2 it is not about making him pay its about wanting your M and communicating and finding out what was wrong to begin with .
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by DIAMOND GIRL:
I feel stuck in a dead marriage.
~~~~~Then change your position if you're stuck..
I feel like I am unable to feel anymore or care. How do I get that back?
~~~~~ What are you willing to do?
I'm selfish???
~~~~~Why does that matter?
I feel why should I consider his feelings when he didn't consider mine?
~~~~~ Who are you argueing with, yourself?
You are saying you're feeling just fine otherwise .... so OK.
Pep
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No one has a clue as to what you want...
validation that what you are doing is right?
It's not right...you know it..
it holds great potential to hurt you, your children, your husband, the OP...
lots of people stand to get hurt...
yet you haven't asked for anything specific...
except for what's wrong with you liking your life this way...no one can answer the questions you have posed so far but yourself...
and now you tell us we are harsh...
you pretty much only want to hear what you want to hear...yet no one even knows what it is you want to hear....
you in all honesty haven't reached for anything...except..
It's like you are saying...
"I am what I am...
anyone want to argue with that?"
no point in arguing that is there??
If you beleive you can't change...then you are doomed no matter what path you choose......to never be any different...want to rethink that sentiment...
go deeper
drop the attitude you are projecting on others...
ark
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"I feel stuck in a dead marriage. Everything else is ok but that one thing that makes it special like no other died. I feel like I am unable to feel anymore or care. How do I get that back?"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you actually beleive that being in an ongoing affair is going to bring it back?
What have you done to rebuild your marriage? Have you gone to marriage counseling?
Let's get serious, nothing will change until you end your affair, confess to your H, and (if he still wants to remain married to you) the two of you seek marriage counseling with a pro-marriage professional.
<small>[ October 01, 2003, 02:20 PM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>
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hh
<small>[ February 08, 2004, 02:14 AM: Message edited by: Lovely ]</small>
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DG,
You will not find comfort here without remorse for your actions. You want something, or you wouldn't be here. You might want something and not even know what it is, but know that you do want. So, the first difficult question is: what do you hope to gain or accomplish by coming here and sharing? You don't have to know right now. Some of us can help you figure it out, if you are honest.
You are not the only one who has ever done what you've have done, felt the way you feel, or been attacked by the MB members in this way. You have described a marriage that is very bad, from both sides, with a lot of mutual hurt, annimosity and mistrust. It has to stop somewhere, and if you know about it, then you must be the one to stop first. Yes, that means you will get dumped on, maybe even taken advantage of, but you must stop the hurt you do before you can begin to heal it.
Tell us about your marriage, from the beginning of the relationship, and why you would even bother if you were cheating before.
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