FB,
I know contact would just slow the process down. to talk and write about it only keeps it fresh in my mind. But it isn't healthy. It isn't going to help me recover. It certainly would send my W into a tailspin . If I look like I am daydreaming W will ask what I am thinking about;if I look sad she wonders where my head is. Believe me it is very difficult to write this, it just brings it up again and I start wondering and dreaming all over. I am saying this to you so that you can know this obsessing will only keep you back there. Here is a little piece I found that helps give me direction:
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters 1) I walk down a street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost...I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. 2) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. Ican't believe I am in the same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. 3) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in ... it's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. 4) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. 5) I walk down another street. By Portia NelsonI know that you are hurting, I know that you are empty and somehow you want to replace that which seems to be missing but the missing part for you and me isn't the OP. Funny the OW said that to me once, that she wasn't the missing part for me. She also asked if I really wanted to have an A because it just left you devastated and empty at the end. She was right. We play with our emotions like they are not there... I tried to pretend I do not have any but I do... we must take care of ourselves and those that are closest(is that a word <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )to us in our lives. I am writing to me here as well as you. Hang in there. Resist trying to see him...don't call what do they say on ER? DNR.
H
Go see "Why we have affairs" by YoursTruely
<small>[ December 04, 2003, 07:52 PM: Message edited by: Hiker ]</small>
