She knows I have been reading it .. To be honest I think you are right. She doesn't think she had an affair .. she thinks our marriage is over and she is moving on. Just befor the D goes thru..

Last night she had a bunch of things to get ready for today. I asked her if I could help with anything .. she said no thank you it won't take that long. I said Ok but if there is something I can help with yell at me .. she said OK ..then she said I do appreciate the offer.

Hope - How is everything over your way?

My WW knows I have been posting here and says she has read everything I posted. She says she is very upset with me about it. She said she feels betrayed that I would put her entire life on here and make her look like a bad spouse and mother.

She didn't come out and say it but she would like me to quit posting on here. I don't know what to do .. I love this woman so much and don't want to hurt her..

She thinks that plan A and B and this site is manipulating and controlling. I tried to tell her it wasn't that the only thing I'm doing is trying to show her how much I do love her and appreciate her and want her in my life.. as my wife.

Hey dude, hows work going? Pretty slow here.

Who cares if she is reading here? Of course she wants you to stop, this stuff is threatening her new lifestyle. It's fog talk, and you are still reacting to it!!!! Ignore her threats and requests. This is tough love, it isn't meant to be easy for her.

Ok, I'll go mind my own business now, I'll take my rightous indignation back over to my thread and leave yours alone...have a good day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I have a bit to say on that...but I'm in the middle of a few projects. Let me get some stuff out of the way and I'll be back.

In the meantime...don't sweat it. I understand it's a lovebuster for you to be posting here, but it's also your only means of sanity. If she's not willing to work with you to restore your marriage, then why on earth does she care what you decide to do with your life? She's unwilling to respect your request to quit contact with the OM...she actually flaunts it in your face and takes your children there...so I wouldn't be too darn worried about respecting her privacy.

Hang in there...the fog is nasty nasty stuff.

Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule .. By the way I did get that JOB WOO OOO HOOO <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ( Sorry )

Ps: you have an email addy? I want to ask you something but not here...

Hope - you still out there? LOL Actually I see you are I just saw a post by you .. Could you drop me an email at Lost_Confussed@hotmail.com
I have a quick question for you - and as I told you befor my wife doesn't want me posting here anymore.. I do Love her and really want her to think about comming back to our marriage. So I'm going to do as she ask for now.. the question I have is not about her so she shouldn't get upset.. thanks L&C

Sorry about that L&C!! I'm involved in several community projects, several boards and committees, a leadership class, running my own business...all in addition to parenting a 5 year old and trying to make sure my hubby still wants to keep me around!! I'm done whining...

I actually had a really nice post put together in my head, mostly geared towards your wife. I remember being in her shoes...or rather, in her mindset. I was highly offended when I found out my OM...yes, the OM...was posting about me on a website. Now, I knew that HE knew that I posted about my marriage and about him as well on another site...but yet I was offended. It's the WS mindset. It's typical.

Anyway, I won't go all in to it now since so much time has passed and all...unless you think she might read it and find some nuggets of knowledge she might be able to use in there.

Meantime, my email is parent_talk@hotmail.com I don't check it every day...I TRY, but I just don't get it done. Can't imagine why with all this free time I have....NOT!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Actually I know her and the neighbor still reads these post .. So anything you would like to say .. is up too you.

I will not give the details on here but she had me arrested last night .. I really do LOVE this woman .. I don't want to hurt her or my children but I do not know what I'm going to do now..

Ugh...

L&C...it's time for you to seperate. If you were arrested, regardless of how awful your wife is acting, you are reacting badly.

For your own sake at having privacy, I would recommend emailing whomever you trust to advise you. However, not for one minute do I tell you to do that to protect your wifes privacy. She's reading your private thoughts with her lover and mocking you. I'm sure they laugh at you and your attempts at trying to salvage your marriage. They probably laugh at a lot of us. I guarantee you they won't be laughing in the end.

Remember the statistics against them. Remember what kind of people THEY are being. Immoral and, quite frankly, JERKS! If someone were treating them this way they'd both be ready to hang them!!! Keep solice in knowing that what comes around, goes around. It hurts right now knowing that you care about the woman you married, and watching her run away and slowly turning in to someone you wouldn't even care to know.

I know you'll heal fine. I know, because I see it all the time. You will be fine. The betrayed spouse suffers when they try to save a marriage that is being flushed down the toilet by the wayward spouse...but once it reaches the stage of being done, they are able to heal and move on pretty well. You will still have your integrity. The wayward spouse still has themselves to deal with. And since they are the primary damaging force in their life...they still go through hell for a long long time. Sometimes forever if they refuse to look at themselves and their actions.

Your children, however, have a long hard road ahead of them. That will hurt and anger you more than anything she does to you. Because they do know. And they do hurt, terribly. Keep your sanity for them. They need it.

The original post I was going to write the other day was about how I remember being in the fog and being sooo angry at finding out that the OM was talking about me on the internet. I was going to direct it moreso towards your wife. Even thought I was doing it, and even though I DEFINATLY wasn't respecting my husband and his attempts at reconciliation. I mocked everything he did and thought. I remember the fog.... All I can say at this point, is that the shame that comes with the realization of how badly you are treating another is immense. And if that shame never comes...then, quite frankly, you are a shallow and selfish person. Only other shallow and selfish people will ever want anything to do with you. What a joyous life that will be, huh?

L&C, leave her to her mess.

Hope - Thank you for your kind words .. I started crying ohhh about three sentences in <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

What happened was stupid on both of are parts. I know now that everything is over and that I am going to move on with my life .. For my childrens sake. I do love her and always will but can no longer suffer this pain inside.. Thank you again for everything ...

I Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not irritable and keeps not record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever....

Lost,

I don't know your whole story. But your last post seems like you given up hope. Don't, its never too late. Have you gone into plan B at all? I can't find anywhere that you did. You should separate from you W and let OM try to meet all of her needs and also give yourself a break from her. You need to enjoy life a little for yourself before you make any long term decisions. Don't go out with other women, but go out with friends, take your kids camping, go bowling. Go into plan B and work on yourself. You have plenty of time to work on the marriage when she is ready to...

No I haven't gone into a plan B - she has read everything on here and thinks the plans are muniplative and controlling.

I am done - No plan B, No plan A, just done - I will always love her but she has made it clear who and what she wants ,, fog or no fog.

The reason I'm on here today is because I can't go home for the next three days.. I can't see my children, get clothes,anything .. Unless she drops the restraining order ( which she won't so she can see him ) I hope it was all worth it for her. I hope that she has a nice life with who and whatever she decides..

But thank you for the advice

<small>[ November 09, 2003, 10:45 AM: Message edited by: Lost&Confussed ]</small>

You say your wife knows about plan B. Even better. Don't give up, go into plan B. Find a way and just do it. Time is the only thing you have at this point, go dark and live your life like you were divorced. Don't talk to her, don't see her, just get her out of your life for now. Let her make all the choices. If eventually she does want a divorce, let her do the work. She is the one making the mistakes, let her continue until she hits bottom. In the meantime, work on you. It looks like you could use a break. You probably need a professional counselor also to help you get through all this... Go into plan B, if not for her, for you....

Bump