Hi Amore-
Sorry I couldnt reply sooner-havent been on in a while.
I could totally relate to the feeling you had when you woke up from that dream. I woke up the other morning from dreaming of him (actually it was still dark) and I just had this incredible sense of aloneness and emptiness inside me-that I just laid there and cried. I too now feel incredibly naive. Looking back, I think I just couldnt comprehend someone that I actually knew (and cared for for that matter) could live such a lie. One of my biggest struggles now is learning to accept my feelings for him and not try to figure out if really loved me and/or cared (my "mind" tells me NO because love to me isnt all those things that have now blown up in our faces. Its tough to acknowledge feelings for someone that turned to be such a fake because who you THOUGHT you had feelings for is not really that person after all-know what I mean?!**************
It also isnt about lies, deceit and thinking mainly of oneself. (yes, something I was guilty of as well) But I think deep down I still want that phone call from him saying "for whatever its worth, I do love you and am sorry for the pain I may have caused you" But now knowing I wasnt the "1st" that this is something he most likely will not grow from but more than likely repeat with someone else and just try to be more careful and discreet somehow. OUCH!!!!!
Misslilly