He talks about everything calmly - I get a little heated at times. He is going to do all the questionarres. I have already - they really helped me figure out what was going on with me - I found that he has a lot of love busters that would seem subtle, but really get me. H has been sick with the flu and can't think until he's better. We actually had a very pleasant evening. I actually laid on the bed to talk to him for the first time in a month (I moved to the upstairs bed about a month ago) I am actually going to move back downstairs in a couple days, once we're both done being sick. That's a huge step. What you said about being on a vacation was true. When I was with OM, I had no kids, no bills, no H, just going out, drinking, being goofy, and having lots of fun. Now I am faced with reality. Some moments, like right now, I can deal with it. Some, like earlier today, I just want to curl up in a hole and hide forever.

It is good to hear that someone else out there has a big age difference and is working with it. It does concern me about him getting elderly when I am still 50, but at least he's pretty healthy and very active. I do my major recreational activities (namely horse jumping shows) without him, so this area won't be effected (he supports me, and watches when he can)

By the way, the A isn't the only bad thing to happen lately - in the past month, our property (not the buildings) flooded bad (we live on a major river), a week later, the barn that had been converted into a couple apartments (including the one OM lived in) had a catastrophic fire, and half of the inside was gutted (OM's side was OK but has no electricity, so he had to move out because of that - a good thing - if he had been living here when H found out, it would have been VERY bad!) Two weeks later, H found out about A, one week later, our property flooded again. It's been quite the month!!!! I guess it can only go uphill from here, right?