Steve, he says to postpone it in Plan A. However, i think in your case, it would backfire because I think she is getting nervous. If you postpone it, she will relax. Is your divorce going to final on April 14th? I thought that was just a court date?

I found out today depositions are set for March 30 and court date is April 14th. If we go to court on the 14th when we leave we will be divorced.
Are you telling me not to postpone the April 14th date?

You know, I would hold out for awhile longer and see what develops here before you do anything. I wonder if she isn't getting cold feet herself? I say let her squirm and see what happens. Maybe she will postpone it herself?

I will hold out, bottom line if she does not stop it do I ?

I spoke to OM's wife and she says the OM is furious at her. Cussing and telling he he will not pay her a dime. He has to pay Alimony and from what I am told the only time this happens in Alabama is if there was an affair.

I think they are still talking just by some of the comments OM makes to his Ex.

Waiting on all the evidence from that case.

Wife called tonight, she talked to the kids and asked where they were, I said in the background it did not matter. About 5 min. after she got off the phone with the kids she called back and wanted to talk to me. I told my daughter to give the phone to sis in law to field the message she wanted to give me. Wife did not want to talk to her so I hung up the phone and when she called back let it go to voice mail.

Wife left 2 messages, telling me I would remember this next time I wanted to tak to the kids. The sis in law then called the wife and they went at it, the wife was telling her I drove her crazy and I was to blame for her leaving, the sis in law to my wife that the OM had her head all screwed up and has her thinking crazy thoughts. The sis in law also told her she was hurt since the wife will not talk to her any more, they were very close.
Wife told sis in law she was loosing weight and her hair was falling out. same thing she told friend the other night.
wife was telling sis in law I was going for custody and she had to pay her attorney an extra 7k, Wife told sis in law I was going to try and make her look like an unfit mother. I have said none of this, the sis in law told my wife this and the wife said she did not belive her. told her I was tellling lies.

comments please also above post

Saw wife today at kids school function, I did not talk to her at all. She walked by and acted like she was was in plan B against me. I dont know if this plan b has any affect on her. I really think she does not give a damn what happens to me. She did at least leave voice mail on my cell phone that was half way normal, said Hey, Im calling for the kids, please have them give me a call, she even said bye.
Had to have been someone else call, bye is the nicest thing she has said to me in weeks.

Please read above post also.

Steve, that is a nice development, maybe she is catching on that she has to treat you with respect? Did you have have the girls call her back?

yes I did, the kids called 20 minustes after I realized she called. Mel, do I postpone the D, I dont see how this is a nice development. She did not say a word or look my way today. She walked by within 3 feet and didnt look my way, nothing.

She is going out with her father tonight.
Remember I was out around Christmas and ran in to them.

I just dont see how her saying bye on the voice message is anything

Steve, you will have to decide if the divorce will be postponed but let me suggest something to you. What good do you think it would do?

How do you think she will react to that? Wouldn't she view such a postponement as an opportunity to mock you and hold you up for riducule? I wonder, on the other hand, if you stay the course and let things happen, that she might respond better to a show of strength. What do you think?

I am talking last minute postpone, I also think that if she has to continue to stay away from om
all the while she may realize this is not worth it. The OM and my wife right now are really mad,
OM's wife says she has never heard him cuss or act like he has in the 12 years they were together. My wife never cussed during or marriage, she is now making up for lost time.

Our Babysitter come to me and told me she saw the wife out shopping and said she has lost
a lot of weight, she was only 105 before, now probably 90. she has been in the tanning beds and still getting her nails done.

I just feel that if I postpone it, she/they will get tired of this.
dont know if this is good or bad, thats why I keep asking.
Or do I let it go and tell her to go ****off
and move on?

Steve, I can't answer if you should postone it or not. I gave you my thoughts on how she might react. But you know the situation better and have to think it through to determine which path would work better. I don't think you just say **** it, but I do think she might just use such a thing against you. And remember, divorce does not necessarily mean the end. I wonder if a divorce would wake her up?

Mel, I have wondered the same thing, should I just let her go, She has told everyone I am going to try and do this and that, all of which is not true. I have tried to tell her I am not going to embaress her like she has been doing to me, no need to tell everyone our private moments.
She will not listen to me or sis in law, she has her mind made up of what she thinks I will do.
I guess she will find out when we go to mediation. maybe then she will realize just how much I love her, its been 8 months since she left and I miss her just as much now as I did
when she first left, I keep telling friends I donot want to meet anybody now, they keep wanting tot fix me up. I want My wife and kids back. I do not want to destroy her, she has called the neighbors and friends telling them Steve is gonna do this and that, you wait and see.
She is wrong.

Steve, what has she been saying you are going to do? See, I think you should squeeze her as much as possible. Any consequences you can inflict can only help the situation. But what does she think you are planning?

my wife like to go out and when all of us were out she liked to do the flash thing, since she got the boob job. she dressed really wild, I was there,but most women did not like her and thought she was slutty, naked in the hottub, skinny dipping in the pool. her 2 friends (1 is my our neighbor)and the OM were never here when she done that. The om has said before he did not like that type of stuff, he was around every now and then when we all cooked out and that's what the guys talked about. OM did not like that.
She liked to joke with the guys, listen to guy stories. She was also with another woman for about 30 seconds for shock value. it has never happened again. I think she is worried I am going to tell her father and friends. She aslo
had some nude photos of herself. This is private stuff and I am not into revealing this to anyone. This was all her idea, Im sure drinking had something to do with it. She also went to strip clubs and made a big deal about it, all the dancers hung all over her, Manager offered her a job. this is what she thinks Im going tot tell, she also thinks Im gonna try and prove she is a bad mother. Not true.

Mel, please read above post as well,

Sat. my brother and I were at a local home builders show. The OM is a local remodeler.
as he was giving the oh look how good I am to some couple I stopped just to listen, I never said a word to him. listened for a while to his lies and left. looked around for a while. We were getting ready to leave and my brother walked up to the OM and flipped the bird to him. about 1/4 inch from his nose. I did not say a word. Just walked off. the Om did not make a sound.

When the OM first saw us he left his booth for about 5 minutes. Just like my wife did when she saw his ex out one night while we were still an item.

is/was this a LB, did I do wrong(I know I will be blamed for it)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by gblogbd:
<strong> my wife like to go out and when all of us were out she liked to do the flash thing, since she got the boob job. she dressed really wild, I was there,but most women did not like her and thought she was slutty, naked in the hottub, skinny dipping in the pool. her 2 friends (1 is my our neighbor)and the OM were never here when she done that.
She was also with another woman for about 30 seconds for shock value. it has never happened again. I think she is worried I am going to tell her father and friends. She aslo
had some nude photos of herself. This is private stuff and I am not into revealing this to anyone. This was all her idea, Im sure drinking had something to do with it. She also went to strip clubs and made a big deal about it, all the dancers hung all over her, Manager offered her a job. this is what she thinks Im going tot tell, she also thinks Im gonna try and prove she is a bad mother. Not true. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Is it alright if your daughters do this stuff too? I read all this and I am no longer surprised that she had an affair. Are you surprised after knowing all this, Steve?

I imagine that she is scared that you will tell this stuff in court because it sure would be pertinent in a custody hearing. It speaks to her fitness as a parent. Do you feel she is fit as a parent?

yes she is a fit parent, I think she really is confused. the OM has her convinced of greener grass. The wife only done this on ocasion, I know we are good enough parents to raise or kids and when they get to be 38-40 if this is what they choose and are not hurting anybody then fine. I know this is not what you probably want to hear.

I really dont see how the behavior i described caused her to stray. The OM was never around.
Are you saying she strayed because she did not want to act like that, It was her idea for the boob job, I tried to talk her out of it, she wanted it after the kids were born. I never made her flash, her idea.

she is a very good mother, she has made a very bad mistake.

a motion to compel was issued today, what do you think about her walking by without talking?

Called for the kids, the wife got on the phone and said let me tell you bla bla bla, I told her I did not want to talk to her and to quit harassing me, she then started saying she was going to call the police on me for harassing her, funny how she tried to turn it around, All I asked was please let me speak to the girls, she would not, I then told her if she had something to say to call my sis in law or contact my attorney. this is why when I go get the kids I have someone go with me.
Maybe this plan b thing is working, she said I tried talking to you and be nice to you but you did not want to talk, she said you never answwer the phone, I know you have it forwarded to your cell, and thats why you got home at 7:30 last night. I told my wife i dont always have a phone on me. she said sure you dont. I hung up and she calld back, I kept asking to talk to the girls and after 5 min of asking she put them on the phone.

Mel or Mort, please read last 2 post and advise.

found out wife is getting of the home phone records for her court case, have no Idea what she is looking for here. She is going back 2 years, this will help me. it will show how many times per day her and Om talked.

please read last couple of actions
need advice