</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by alx1970:
Someone asked about her daughters father, he was selfish and into only himself. She caught him cheating on her and constantly trying to hide internet pornagraphy from her. He hit her several times when they argued. Very bad situation. She said her jealousy was not that bad with him though because she didn't care for him as much.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">this speaks volumes.

alx,

One thing you mentioned that is very important in providing safety is timing. So, you want to time the discussion at a calm period of the day....as opposed to say bedtime for the kids or any other high stress time of the day. You need privacy. You also need to set ground rules (pleasant, no LBs and if the discussion begins to fall apart you end it).

I know this is something she needs to conquer on her own, but your feelings are equally as important as hers. Even if you think she is not ready to POJA this issue yet....and she may not be, consider using RH to tell her how you feel in these circumstances. Understanding and appreciating your feelings is necessary information that she needs to know you, remain connect intimately to you. If you can express them without anger and just honest statements, perhaps eventually she will hear you.

Did she stop going to IC? Because it sounds like she could benefit from continuing to explore these things.

hanora,

That's an interesting suggestion about not watching TV at all.....hmmm I wonder if alx would be willing to try that in order to draw his wife out a bit while she has the safety of knowing she won't feel insecure.

whippit,

You are so right about how loud that statement speaks.


Now for the sake of the excersize....let's move past the introduction and try to come up with some brainstorming ideas. Anyone?