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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2 |
joey--your story is too much like mine and difficult for me to read. I don't know when our innocent friendship first turned into love but it somehow did. This man is ev
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Originally posted by joey1960:
Personally I am tired of it all and feel very trapped and caged.
Unless you are incarcerated, you are free to walk away at any time.
Why haven't you?
That it's REALLY NOT the OW that has brought me to this forum but actually how I feel and have felt about my marriage for a VERY long time but would never admit my own feelings to myself.
Soooo, the feeling of being trapped and caged is actually a trap of your own choice? What is keeping you from walking out that door (and out of the trap) right this minute?
A person who cannot admit personal feelings to him/herself makes a poor marriage partner. There is no true intimacy until you know who YOU are.
I suspect the "trap" is actually your current lack of self .... who are you when you are not married?
A crisis of mid-life is often a crisis regarding identity and meaningfull connections.
How can this all be your wife's influence?
It cannot.
If you stayed in a trap for years and years, it is because you lacked the integrity/courage to live a different life.
Who do you want to be?
You are certainly correct.... this is NOT about OW .... but all about you.... When you look into the mirror, who looks back?
Take care.... this is difficult stuff this growing older.
Pep
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