Kick him out in the AM, believer. Where in the world did he get the idea that he could come back? Dropping off a letter on his way to get bombed at football was supposed to be his ticket back? Good grief....

I know, melody. In the morning I am going to be very nice, not talk about relationship, and go on with my plans. He knows what he needs to do. I am taking myself out of this triangle.

But I really can't believe how calm I am. Tonight I told him that I thought he probably is in love with OW and they should just be together. I told him I would like to be friends and he just needs to sign the property settlement, so that we each can get on with our lives. This whole thing is getting really tiring.

Believer,

You are now at the turning point that many of us think we will never get to at the beginning. You are closer to where your heart and mind can be in sync. From this time on you are going to be better at making decisions because your train of though is clearer. You want out of this A game and out of the triangle even if it means your M will end. Understanding that option will help you regardless of which way your M goes.

With that in mind, you can now focus on you and the family. Since you can't help the Ws, you are learning to let him go and he has to now prove how to earn his way back into his family. It will take time and effort on his part, your way of life will not change as far as your goal and direction. That will bring you some relief.

You will feel sorry for him but realize he needs to do this himself. Remember to love your H but not the WS. Now you are ready to do this.

Take care,
L.

Thanks orchid. I can't believe that I finally have gotten to the point where I am calm. I never did Plan A, found this site too late. But after posting and reading here, I'm starting to get it down.

I am going to make appointment with the Harley's. H was supposed to do it, but never got around to it. I need it for me now.

Thanks to everyone here, I finally have hope, whether or not my marriage is saved.

Originally posted by believer:
By the way, he asked to talk and I told him now was a good time. He said he couldn't do it now, he had to meet his brother to watch football.

??? YOU rank below football ??? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Peter Pan showed more maturity than this.

Have you determined just where your limit is for this abuse and neglect?

Pep

<small>[ January 19, 2004, 10:15 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

pep- Yeah I come right behind football. I always have. And when I was in Plan B, I didn't really miss him. It was like my life was better without him.

I have come to the realization that even though OW and I are fighting over him - he is really no great prize, at least not the way he has been for the last 7 months. I know I have to get back to Plan B.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> (that smile is for your efforts, not the WS - his is: <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> )

L.

Well today H made breakfast and we ate together and just had small talk. I offered to drive him home. On the drive to his house, he started in with the same old story. I love you, I want to reconcile, blah, blah, blah. I said that I loved my H, not the man he is now, and wanted H back, but I was now taking myself out of the triangle.

He said I am your H and will change, OW is out of the picture. I told him I was starting to trust him until I found them in bed. He said he just got home from work and she showed up at the door. I told him that I can't live like that, everytime she shows up he has to sleep with her. Asked him not to contact me and I dropped him off.

So now (AGAIN) trying to get back into Plan B. Thanks for all of the support.

I HATE when that happens too don't you Believer...

there ya are working working working hard all day at the office to support your family... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
come home to a place that is not your "real home" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
and that pesky OP just shows up in your bed...!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

things like that happen to me allll the time...
poor poor mr. believer....

ark <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> sheeeesh....that's a classic...

God give you strength believe...you have a fogged in cake man extraodinarre!!!!

That's exactly his story. Everytime he has NC with her, she shows up in a day or two at his door and flops into his bed. Poor thing, it must be so awful for him.

You're welcome, believer! I hope you left out all the stuff about being a mindless dork. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Mel:

I just saw this:

"Orchid, the phone must have rang or something when he wrote that! Guys can't drive a vehicle, put on lipstick AND talk on their cell phones at the same time like we can! "

I'm now dealing with a mental image of JL wearing sloppily-applied lipstick! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

He must have at least put down the phone, because I can see he's still posting!

How long do the movies last? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long

<small>[ January 19, 2004, 06:24 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

I hope he didn't go out with mussed up lipstick and embarrass us!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[he is gonna kick my [censored] when he gets back!!]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> That's exactly his story. Everytime he has NC with her, she shows up in a day or two at his door and flops into his bed. Poor thing, it must be so awful for him. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Geeze Believer, what kind of job does he do anyways? I mean too tired to keep the door closed or call the police when the OW comes by? Here's an easy # 911.

WS: Hello, there is a scantly clad strange OW here trying to get into my bed! HELP I am a married man. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

911 dispatcher: Oh we get about 7 of those calls a day. I will send out the MB police with the 2x4. Kick her to the street as she is dressed or the lack thereof and we will send the OW patty wagon. Don't worry about her being out in the cold and wrinkling her skin....this is one tough OW, we have heard of her kind before. She claims to be hot and starts to disrobe at the sight of a man. Pretty desparate I'd say. Do you have a family?

WS: Yes I do, I have a beautiful W and adorable family. I am not sure how I ended up in this smelly apt. It reeks of the OWs aftershave....I mean cologne.....I mean... Yikes I can't smell, I can't breathe, what's happening to me?

Dispatcher: You are hyperventilating Mr. WS. You need your family to restore your santity and your health.
Breathe in the clean air and out with the bad. Continue those cleansing breathes until the OW is out of sight and her stench is gone. Now I see you are located at 222 lost lane, is that correct?

WS: Yes. Apt 6X.

Dispatcher: The MB police are on their way. Just sit back and breathe until the 2x4 can knock some common sense into your foggy head. The the ache in your heart will go away and when you are thinking clearly and you can show your family that you are truly recovered, you can ask their forgiveness and hope they let you back into their home. I will stay on the line with you until the MB police arrive, ok?

WS: ok....

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Howz that?

Make you smile a bit? Hope so. Some of us have a pretty wild imagination, 'eh?

Oh yea Mel, now I have those nightmarish photos of JL smeared with red lipstick while wearing a white doctor's jacket - YIKES <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

Oh my goodness, you have me laughing out loud like a crazy lady. It's such a funny picture you paint! I just have to realize what a dilemma it must be for him when she shows up at the door. He has to decide whether to work on reconciliation or go for another romp in the sack. Hmmmmm.

Glad to have obliged, Believer..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Laughter is good medicine sometimes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The stories here are crazy enough to keep some of us in stitches or crying either way our eyes get cleaned out. LOL!!!

The sad thing is that our wildest made up stories can't come close to the stupidity of the WS and OP. Really a reality show just on the stories on this board would fill up 5 seasons! Just kidding. We already have had 2 show producters show up on MB over the last 3 years looking to do stories on some of us. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Keep smiling and make 'em all wonder what you are up to!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
L.

Believer and Orchid <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
How I enjoyed this! It does help so much to look for the humor in our situations, even when we think there's none there.

Believer, you're doin' good.