Brett -

Did you get that airplane flying again? You sound so much better than when you first started posting.

Please enjoy your time off. You deserve it. Keep working on your issues so they can lose their hold on you. Get rid of the dead dogs in the basement. We (the audience on the balcony) will be pulling for you.

The night shift guys were expecting the last part to arrive this evening and the sick airplane will be well for its p.m. flight tomorrow.

Going to keep sweeping them 'ol skeletons out of the closet. Yak at ya later...

My son and I work on airplanes, 2!

...only, if we were 2 try 2 get in ours, we'd wind up with a bunch of balsa splinters underfoot! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I used 2 work on my own cars a lot, but the new ones are best left alone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ... ...at least I've still got the Model A and the VW singlecab 2 play with when I get the urge!

-ol' 2long

Model A! awesome. Yes, the new ones are best left alone. That is why my newest vehicle is a 78. Unfortunately one new one for a family is a must,fuel mileage, road trips, etc..

WW called this a.m. told me to go ahead and sell her blazer, she only wants $600, the rest to bills. She asked if I had IC this week I told her yes. She said that she hopes it goes well and that for me to have a good week. We talked about our dog and she seemed to emphasize how much she missed the dog while I had her. Speaking literally, or figuratively? Some double hidden message there? The tone in her voice almost sounded like it.

Weather was great, cruised the Camaro today. Think I'm catching whatever is going around work. Got the chills and a headache. One guy at work wound up off of work for a whole week and he never gets sick and is a tough s.o.b. So its a bad one. I've not been sick for over a year, I'm due.later folks...............

Brett-

You neglected to tell us if you had your date tonight. Did you?

Brett- Are you sick, or have you been out on a date?

yes,I had lunch with a gal this afternoon. We had a nice time. This is contrary to MB principles. Maybe I don't belong here anymore. There are so many wonderful people here that are going the extra mile as to where I haven't. So many people with the intestinal fortitude to stick it out. To last as long as it takes. Maybe I'm too weak for that this time. As 2Long put it I've been speed MB'ing and suffer from cranial rectal impaction. All of our situations are the same and all of ours are different at the same time. I have changed. I've never been the person that I was today. The to shy, to timid, un-confident person wasn't there. The guilt that I feel is coming from the knowledge that I will lose respect from those here that are trying so hard to save their M. While I was out having lunch with someone who is not my WW. And no, I don't feel bad about actually having lunch with someone. Yes I need to really think about what I've done. She is someone that I would not want to hurt. I really need to decide whether or not I belong here with the caliber of folks posting. Part of me wanted to see what it was like just to enjoy the company of a nice gal and whether or not I am throwing in the towel.

So those out there that read this. Am I the first to be where I'm at? Speed MB'ing and dating.

Sorry if I've let you guys down.

Brett -

You are not weak, and we all fall off the MB wagon from time to time. I know how pleasant it is to have someone of the opposite sex treat you nice after all the pain the BS has endured. So stick with us, please don't give up.

br:

You're not the first. You're not going 2 be the last, either. This is a PROCESS. I bet you'll look back on this a year from now and realize that you're STILL in a growth process THEN. At this moment, that sounds like an impossibility. For me, the first 5 months or so after D-day seemed like I would never survive another month, but I always did. It does get "easier" with time, though I would never say it gets "fun."

I admire you for considering the lunch gal's feelings. So long as you keep everything in perspective, this won't count as a "failure" on your part. Keep being concerned about how people feel about the things you say/do. You'll respect yourself even more with time if you do. ...and so will your WW.

-ol' 2long

Brett -

Remember when I told you about my mini-romance at the bar? It was WONDERFUL having attention again, feeling attractive and wanted. But, ultimately, I wanted that from WH. I just do not want any substitutes.

What is your answer to that same question? Is this gal just a substitute right now? Do you think it is fair to her to go from the breakup of one relationship right into one with her?

That is the exact reason your WW's R with OM is doomed! Not today or tomorrow, but you said you know her fate.

Don't get foggy on us. You are not letting us down. But do not slip into rationalization and justification. Keep your eyes and your mind open to all these experienced people.

It's not just about your WW, it is about YOU. Deep down, you get that. You are lonely. I totally understand.

Just keep posting and being honest. You will find your way through, with assistance. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

SS

Had a good session with IC today. I told him about the date. He thanked me for being honest. Almost seemed shocked that I was. Doesn't get that much in his line of work I guess. I had to give him a situation I experienced years ago about my honesty. I paid for a meal at a restaraunt years ago(meal was terrible) with a $20. She rang it up as $50. I was going to get "paid" for eating. I told her she made a mistake, she actually started to argue with me until she realized that I was telling her she was giving me to much money back. My WW was there and she liked to tell that story years later. Honest about most stuff. But wasn't honest about feelings/emotions. Learning, learning,learning.

His take on dating is the same as advice I'm getting here. If I'm going to do that then I need to D and deal with that first. Or I'm going to bring my baggage along.

Right now with IC I'm dealing with my childhood abuse issues. The D is not front and center. It can be if that is what I want to talk about. But the past couple weeks I am better with the seperation. Take it or leave it feeling right now.

So as the Bible talks about two people agreeing in prayer it SHALL be done for him. I'll continue to lean on Ya'll for support/prayer. Thanks everyone.........

And SS I can't give a straight answer to that question today. Just trying not to fog over here.

Brett -

Heard this on Oprah today. "Sometimes God quiets the storm, and sometimes God quiets His child and lets the storm rage."

That makes perfect sense! The Lord has quieted the child and is letting the Storm rage! Today I started working on a new piece;Did You Hear It? I didn't finish it. A good christian friend in Montana called in the middle of it. I'll work on it some more tomorrow.It is about the door shutting behind me. A few weeks ago I wrote a short story, that I may develop into something bigger."My Night In Hell.." It is about a guy who drinks himself to death and goes to Hell. He is visited by dead relatives and the devil. Who shows him his life. He returns to this world and lives his life with the knowledge of what is to be, as shown/told to him by the great deceiver.

I had dinner this p.m. with a couple from church, it was nice to get out and socialize. Talk at ya tomorrow..

That is awesome, Brett! It's like an everyday story that people can really relate to!

When I was a smoker, I kept getting bronchitis. And as soon as possible, I would smoke again, and never fully heal. Plus with the boys, I smoked outside, and I always felt bad when they would see me.

One night I had a very vivid dream that I got emphazima (I was trained to be an EMT, and in the course we are taught that having emphazima is the equivalent to a healthy person breathing through a coffee straw!). I was laying in the hospital bed in my dream, hardly able to breath (so in real life, I probably wasn't breathing well in my sleep), and all I could think to myself was, "What if I had quit smoking 10 or 15 or 20 years ago? What if?"

And the next night, I looked at that little burning cancer stick in my hand, my lungs hurting from sickness and smoke, and I could not believe something so small had such power over my life - socially, as a mother, physically.

WH was in Korea at the time on business, and I quit. I didn't know it was for good, but I quit for that night.

Then the next day, and the next.

WH got home after about 10 days, and my unsmoked cigs were sitting on the kitchen counter. And I said, "I think I quit smoking."

And he threw those cigs out! And I did quit.

I had quit during both my pregnancies, and while breast feeding. As soon as I was done with that, when they took their naps, I was outside on the telephone, puffing away. I hadn't quit for ME those times, I quit for the babies.

Craziness.

So, it was almost like I was taken to hell and shown my future. I must not have been breathing well that night in my sleep, because it was a very realistic and terrifying dream.

I quit the day before my oldest son's 5th birthday. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm so glad you are enjoying the company of so many Christians. I always feel so safe and accepted around fellow Christians.

It's because the deceiver is not welcome, and has little control over what is said or done.

Chat at you later. Keep posting!

SS

Wow what an awesome story on quitting smoking! If only we could dream how to solve our current issues. Then again life wouldn't be a challenge if we could solve problems that way and we would never grow as a person. I guess when it comes to matters of the heart that 'Ol song by Nazareth rings true "Love Hurts" and for good reason. Geez, I just realized that "album" is 30 years old, good grief!

No big plans today just gym,bank and that's it. Great it'll be 65 today so I'll get to enjoy it doing anything I want. Nice day for yard work.

Brett - I need some car advice. My mechanic (and he WAS cute) put the car back together last night. There was nothing cracked.

Now there was water in the oil, and anti-freeze coming out the exhaust (before). My question is should I change the oil before I drive it?

Now remember, it doesn't have to fly, or be pressurized, or anything fancy, just get me to work.

YES! Most definitely change the oil/filter. You may even want to change it twice within 3000 miles. Frequent oil changes will keep that ol motor humming away.

Off to church, yak at ya later..

Good luck with the cute mek-a-nik.

Brett- Thanks for the info. The mek-a-nik is M.A.R.R.I.E.D.

What's up with you? Have you heard from wife or friend?

SS

That is exactly how I quit smoking. I had a bad experience with my father having voice box cancer and it scared me. So in 1997 I just quit. I kept a pack of cigs for a year for emergency, but never touched them and then when the year came I threw them out and never touched them again. I could never smoke again just because I can remember how hard it was to quit. I hope someday our WH think the same thing about infidelity. Wouldn't that be nice.

Brett

I have thought also about dating lately. Must be a lonely thing. I think if someone asked, I honestly would say yes. It has been forever since I have had attention and felt special, so don't feel so bad.

NY

Brett - Please check in with us. It seems like we are hearing less and less from you. What's up?