Yes, very confusing. She brought our dog over this a.m. She seems happy(WW that is). Our dog is doing well also. I gave her a hug and told her that I do still miss her. She said she misses me too. I have IC this tuesday hope I get some good out of it this week. Didn't have IC last week, he was on vacation.

Brett-

Well time for the list again.

1. You have done your best to save your marriage.
2. You have been through a lot of pain, but still have an optimistic attitude.
3. You have a good job.
4. You are kind.
5. Your have remained faithful (we hope) through all of this.
6. You are working on your issues.
7. You have been a great SIL.
8. You know how to work on cars.
9. You have your own home.
10. You know how to work on Pratt and Whitney engines.
11. You have a gift of writing.
12. You are sympathetic and understanding (for a man). You know how to talk to women.
13. You have a great sense of humor.

So all in all if it comes to D, you will do well. You will be in high demand. Please take your time and keep working on yourself. Hold out for someone that deserves you.

Thanks for the list! I needed that! And it is yes on #5. Guess I've learned a few things along the way. Still wet behind the ears. But I've been around the block once on a few things.

Had a nice day working on the yard today, I actually wore shorts(75 degrees). My dog is doing pretty good. She is still a bit perky for an old gal and eating still.

Chatted with inlaws this evening. Didn't ask FIL about his "talk" with OM. Didn't want to stress him out, since he just had his arteries roto rootered. My MIL knew a little of what was said. Guess FIL told OM he had no morals and OM said he did have morals he stays true to the one he is with. Me and MIL had a good laugh at that one.
I don't really want to hear about the talk anyways it'll just make me angry.

Well I should hit the hay. So's I can enjoy the nice weather again tomorrow. I didn't realize my yard needed that much work. It looks ok. But man it needs lots of tlc, now that I have gotten down and dirty working on it. Kind of like being nearsighted and putting on a pair of glasses and seeing things crystal clear.

later
Brett

Brett -

Anything new? Hope you are doing well. Also your doggy. It is good that FIL seems to be doing fine. I'm also happy that they are supporting you.

My WH's whole family supports him and even has the OW over to their homes. Of course his is a VERY disfunctional family.

My sons (22 and 19) have been raised to have good morals and family values. Two years ago my son's girlfriend wanted to move in with him. Son lives in a place that is mine. He told her don't even ask my mom - he already knew the answer.

When they get married and IF they have an affair (which I don't think they ever will) they will know my stand on it.

All is well here. I spent the day in the yard and the garage. Spent as much time as I could w/dog. She is doing fine. Took her to the vet for a checkup and they were suprised to see her so well.

I have IC tomorrow a.m. and am looking forward to dealing w/my issues. Then I drop my dog off with WW before work, oh boy.

I'm sure your sons could learn alot by listening to you. I know I didn't listen to many people that gave me advice at that age. Sometimes it sank in right then and there sometimes it took awhile. I could have saved myself some heartache by listening then and there. I was always told not to do things because it wasn't right. Like when I'd only been married 1yr 3months I took a job in Saudi Arabia that was to last one year. Away from my wife. A good friend warned me not to do it. Guess he could have done better if he'd have told me that there was a good chance my wife would sleep with someone while I was gone. He would have been right. And maybe I'd have not gone. Oh well.

goodnight

Hey friends. Sorry I haven't been around much. I did a really good job of filling up my days and nights without H, and now that he is back I am running low on time.

I do not forsee this lasting forever - well, my M yes, being unavailable, no. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I just think that he and I should be spending as much time as possible together. Especially since he is probably going through some kind of withdrawals from the OW with the NC.

I don't see a lot of that. A little moodiness, but compared to CV55 and Momto3boys, it is very very very mild.

Better safe than sorry. We are continuing our MC. Have an appointment today. We both wonder what MC is going to say about our sleepovers. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

From what I have read on this site, SF is all good. So, it will be interesting to hear what MC has to say.

H seems to be over me lying to him about talking to the Scout leader. He went to Scouts last night, and she was there, and he came home in a good mood. He spent the night again, even though he wasn't going to.

He went to his place to get me a marker (for my Homeowners job that I had to do last night), and brought back an overnight bag and his pillow.

We watched the Alien movie last night. My H is a movie buff. I snuggled right up close!

I hope I don't make you all uncomfortable sharing my happiness with you. There is always hope.

And Brett, I understand that you were warned about leaving your W, but my H traveled a LOT in the Military, and with his first civilian job after that, and I never cheated on him.

In fact, he did a hardship tour in Korea for 1 year, and I remained faithful. Please do not take responsibility for her actions like that. I think we should be able to leave our mates and not worry about them falling into someone else's arms.

Maybe I'm idealistic. While in Korea, my H did visit the red light district once, and that hurt. Maybe some people are just not wired for fidelity. I don't know. I am all about affair-proofing my marriage this time around, though.

I won't go through this again. I have grown enough in this area, I don't need to revisit it!

Lots of love and support. I told H about you last night. He didn't know that if you do that pressurization thing in an airplane that it would snow, either. He said it made sense, though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I told him about you, too, Believer. I told him how awesome you are, and how you help so many people, and how you have grown as a person. And how you have a flat butt from sitting in front of the computer all the time!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> SS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey! Where are you guys? I am usually the one who is a couple of posts behind! What's going on?

Hello? Is anyone out there?

SS

I'm here now. Glad you are having great success in your recovery SS. Hope it is continuing. All the success stories that I've read here just got another one added!

Had a good IC session yesterday. Learning more and more about myself. It's ok to stumble and fall. The Lord is there to grab me and pick me up again.

Had a busy day back on the afternoon shift at work. This shift doesn't leave much time to get stuff done at home. One downside.

Hope all is well. Yak at ya later...

All is going great. Too great? Is it possible to have this fast of a turnaround?

I dunno. His behavior give me no reason to question. But it is strange. A couple of weeks ago he wanted a D!

We were even talking about that last night. He said it is scary what the mind can do, can make you believe.

What do you think? Have you read of other recoveries that go this fast and smooth? He is maintaining NC, he is moving home (brought the X-box and his computer and toothbrush over last night), he loves me, he has planned a romantic evening Saturday at the Anniversary Inn.

Tell me what you think. Be brutally honest. Where the heck is Believer???

SS

Spiderslayer -

It sounds like your WH came quickly out of the fog. That is very good. I would not worry about it at all. Also don't worry about telling us all of the good things that are happening. We need to hear some success stories.

Brett -

Keep them planes flying. I was checking jobs in the paper today and saw listings to work in Iraq that were very highly paid $200,000. Course you might get shot at, or blown up.

What's up with the other one?

If weren't for the time invested in towards retirement I might get a little crazy and go over to Iraq to work. I had an offer 8yrs ago when WW left me last time, to go work for one of those alphabet government outfits over in Africa. Good thing I didn't some of the guys didn't come back. I'm not that crazy anymore. Guess I realized my own mortality since my mid twenties.

The thing that weighs the heaviest on me this week is this is the week WW can file the final. Could be she did yesterday. She said she was at the dentist when I dropped our dog off. Coulda been da Courthouse. I know its coming, but it still sucks.

Talked to the other one on the phone this p.m. Nice to chat. But it is a slippery slope I'm having a hard time staying away from. I have a whole lot to work on yet. My Camaro for one,hahahahaha. Yes and my own gray matter/heart issues.

Yes SS, keep the good stories coming. It gives hope for humanity. That in spite of seemingly insurmountable odds, life can do a turnaround. It may hit bumps, but the big hurdles and canyons should be behind you guys now. Hey, maybe you can get him on here. Some of the posters are great 2x4 wielders!

Chat at ya later..

Hey my friends. Brett, I am understanding why you are having such a tough week. I forgot you told us last week that this was the week.

I cannot even imagine what you are going through. My heart goes out to you. And also my extreme warning, that until it is final, stay off that slippery slope. I totally understand, and I probably would be doing the same if my WS was probably going final this week and I was hurting (and I was an irresistable, exotic looking hillbilly with extensive bridgework and a diamond tooth).

BUT, it is important for us as BS to NOT do to others what was done to us, especially for our own selfish needs - which is why what our WS have done to us is so incredibly painful.

I know you know all this. I am just saying . . .

H is opening up all of his stuff to me slowly but surely. Not email passwords yet, but I am pretty certain there is NC.

Yesterday I had a suspicious day, but I think it was just my own insecurities, not anything he has done. Which is sad and scary that I will have to deal with that, and other things, for an unknown amount of time. My innocence in that area is gone, and that is too bad.

BUT, life goes on. It will get better in time. I am so grateful that my kids have their dad back home. Even though I am still not sure of myself in the wife area, I know I have done the best thing for my family. And that is so important to me.

I don't think H is ready for MB. Every personality is different. H will not be bullied into anything. It all needs to be his choice.

I like the analogy of my youngest son's thumb-sucking. I didn't know how to get him to stop, but I didn't want it becoming an issue we fought over, like I'd seen happen so many times with other kids. So, I just let him be. In 1st grade, he asked me if thumb-sucking was for babies, and I said that that is when people start doing that, but eventually they stop. A few days later, he came home and told me that he was too old to suck his thumb anymore. And he quit.

H knows how I feel about contact, passwords, etc. I believe if I leave him alone, respect his feelings and opinions, it will be reciprocated. That is what has happened so far. As soon as I left him alone, and validated him, he came back to me.

So, everyone can scream the need for NC at me as much as they want, but I cannot force H to do anything (obviously, or we wouldn't be where we are!). This is my plan. I will keep you posted on the results. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Let me know your opinions. Especially you, hillbilly boy. Because, you are a boy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Chat at you later! Thanks for the vote of confidence, Believer! Lots of love to you both.

SS

You may not be able to immediatly control the NC situation. But you could subtly let him know how much it hurts your feelings if he does make contact. Or somehow have a discussion on how destructive and addictive continued contact can be towards both of your goals.

WW didn't file the final. I called to see how are dog was. She claimed she hadn't checked her email yesterday to read mine. But it was certainly deleted out of her inbox. Guess she doesn't know I can see her inbox yet. Well, back to the not filing final. She is using the dental coverage to get some work done. So I told her I'm not in a hurry if she's not, to go ahead and get the work done before she files. She also claimed she hadn't realized the 20 days had passed already. Yah right! She seemed upbeat that I told her I'm not in a hurry for her to file the final. She seemed happy that I was fine with her getting her dental work done. Trying not to read anything into it. She is just plain using me and still telling me lies. Oh well, life goes on.

Wow. How do you feel about the medical and dental coverage thing? Does it just enable her at this point to allow that? I understand why you are allowing it. I just don't know if it is good for you.

So, since she hasn't filed within 20 days here in ID, what does that mean? I don't know too much about D law. Just that it is a No Fault state, which sucks a$$.

I am going to caution you again about the slippery slope, since you didn't comment on that last post. PLEASE don't get involved right away. It cannot be good.

Lots of love.

SS

spiderslayer -

Brett doesn't like to think about the slippery slope. Right now he is at the edge of it, kinda tiptoeing around it.

I'm afraid he may start sliding, and be giving a hillbilly yell all the way down. YEEEEE HAAAAAA!!

Geez I thought I had amazing powers of observation. But I think believer has more.

The slippery slope hasn't progressed beyond telephone conversations. But just the same it is slippery and dangerous.

I picked up a new cd by Godsmack today it has a great song I like;
Running Blind;
Searching for nothing
Wondering if I'll change
I'm trying everything
But everything still stays the same
I thought if I showed you I could fly
Wouldn't need anyone by my side
Now I'm running backward
With broken wings I know I'll die
Running blind
Running blind
Somebody help me see I'm running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind

The more I listen to these guys the more I like 'em...

Running blind?!? Good grief, you could break a toe doing that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I like that Christina Agulera song "Fighter."

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that
I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna thank you
Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Cause if it wans't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

Actually, I dedicate that song to the ex-supposed-best-friend OW. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

There's a verse on backstabbing, too!

Lots of love.

SS

Brett -

How is the slippery slope doing today? Hope you are doing well. Also how is the doggie doing? I'm doing well. Just so glad to get my car back working again.

Hope you will stick with the counseling and get better before you get into another relationship.

Songs? did someone sing a song? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I know some cool songs! You want serious, or humorous?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-ol' 2long

Gee, it's quiet out there!

Okay, humorous, then:

"That's My Story" -Collin Raye
(Lee Roy Parnell/Tony Haselden)

"I came in as the sun came up
She glared at me over her coffee cup
She said where you been, so I thought real hard and said,
I fell asleep in that hammock in the yard
She said you don't know it boy but you just blew it
I said well that's my story and I'm stickin' to it

That's my story, that's my story
Well I ain't got a witness and I can't prove it but
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it

Well I got that deer in the headlights look
She read my face like the cover of a book, and said
Don't expect me to believe all that static
'Cause just last week I threw that hammock in the attic
My skin got so thin you could see right through it
And I started that's my story and I'm stickin' to it

That's my story, that's my story
That's my story, that's my story
Well I ain't got a witness and I can't prove it but
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it

You know time comes when a wise man knows the best thing
That he can do is just look her up in the eye
And beg for mercy and face the bitter truth

Well honey me and the boys played cards all night
Wasn't no hanky panky not a woman in sight
And I know I shoulda called and baby I'm really sorry
Let's get a cellular phone then you won't have to worry
You know how much I love you and darling I'm ready to prove it
And that's my story and I'm stickin' to it

That's my story, that's my story
That's my story, that's my story
Well I ain't got a witness and you know I can't prove it but
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it

You know I ain't gonna do a thing
Unless you approve it and
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it "

-ol' 2long