2long -
Yep after a couple of beers I am up to singing. This is my favorite, probably too old for you and Brett and spiderslayer.

He Stopped Loving Her Today Lyrics

Written by R. V. Braddock and C. Putman, Jr.

He said I'll love you 'til I die
She told him you'll forget in time
As the years went slowly by
She still preyed upon his mind

He kept her picture on his wall
Went half crazy now and then
He still loved her through it all
Hoping she'd come back again

Kept some letters by his bed
Dated 1962
He had underlined in red
Every single I love you

I went to see him just today
Oh but I didn't see no tears
All dressed up to go away
First time I'd seen him smile in years

(Chorus)
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today

(Spoken)
You know she came to see him one last time
Oh and we all wondered if she would
And it kept running through my mind
This time he's over her for good

(Repeat Chorus)

No that song is not to old for me actually. I grew up listening to that one and many other country "classics" with my parents. But hooey I hadn't heard that one in a while. That one would get me crying in my beer for sure. With all these compilation cd's out there on the market today, I'll bet if you could get all the ones that are relative to this situation on one cd, you could make millions.

No slippin' today. Just had a bit to many beers this week. Stayed away from it for 2months, but fell off the wagon. No adverse emotional effects happened. So I am doing somewhat better. But still need to get back to running/racing and not drinking the brewski's.

Looking forward to getting my dog back on sunday.
I continue to pray for guidance and work on my "issues". Thanks for all your support. Couldn't do this as well as I have without it.
Yak at ya'll later..

2old for ol' 2long??? You kidding??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Here's old for ya (it's also the flipside of humorous = "inspirational"). It's by The Association, and was on one of their albums that my sister bought way back there in nineteen sixty damned five, if you want 2 take a whack at guessing just how ol' ol' 2long is! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

I loved it then, but didn't really understand it. I thought it was some sort of spiri2al afterlife "we'll be 2gether holding vir2al hands in the ether" kind of song. But it isn't. It's all about living in the NOW. And I didn't realize that until I read Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now". Check it out sometime.

"Remember", -The Association

"There'll come a day when you and I are one.
A day when we no longer need the sun.
Out of time and space we'll be
Aside all of eternity.

You'll hear my voice with different ears.
You'll live the dreams of timeless years.
Your eyes will be the silver stars
That live and shine and see so far.

Though thoughts and things have come between
And we exist in different scenes,
I'll recognize you on the day
When all the darkness goes away
And we won't count our time by day.

So sing your songs of now, my dear
And make your voice so loud and clear
And when the songs change - well, never mind (never mind)
For they were made to stay behind (stay behind)
And we were meant for nevertime.
Remember"

When I can find the woman that understands that and feels inspired by it like I do (hopefully my FWW, someday), I will have arrived.

-ol' 2long

<small>[ April 09, 2004, 11:59 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

Hey where are you all? Well let me guess. Brett is at work fixing those airplanes.

Spiderslayer is still trying to spend quality time with her H.

2long is trying to figure out where he and wife are going.

Yup, fixin them jets today. Takin' a lunch break right now. Howdy all..

Happy Easter all! My dog is doing well. The weather is great! I'm still avoiding the slippery slope rather well. Amazing what I've learned the past few months has given me new insights. But I'm still learning, I still get cranial rectal impaction now and again.

Brett -

Happy Easter. For us Christians, this is a season of hope and miracles.

Right now I am pretty hopeless and not doing very well. We have to get rid of our beautiful pitbull, Leo. He is a great dog, but had the bad luck to be born a Pitbull.

So I am hoping for a miracle.

Hello all! Loved reading the song lyrics. Yes, Believer, I have been spending wonderful time with my H.

He took me to the Anniversary Inn Saturday. Fun fun fun! We had the Egyptian room. It was awesome. We loved and talked and held and totally reconnected. I know the man is back for good, this time.

He loves me, he thinks I am beautiful and sexy, is in love with me, and remembers that I am the best thing to happen to him (as he is the best thing to happen to me).

I would not be where I am today if I had not had the support, love, and friendship of all of you here.

You all centered me when I was freaking out, picked me up when I fell flat on my face about 100 times, and listened to me when I was making no sense.

I will never be able to repay what you all have done for me. My H has told me the reason he came home is because I let him go (finally). I was incapable of doing that when I came to this site at the beginning of February. And 2 months later, here I am.

Lots of love and hugs and support.

Believer, I am so sorry about the dog. That sucks beyond words. I will say a prayer, too.

Brett, I really hope your wife wakes up to reality soon. She is truly letting the best thing to ever happen to her - meaning YOU - slip through her fingers.

2long, what the heck is going with you? Has your wife come around, yet? I have been out of touch for a few days, and the whole site has moved on without me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

SS

Spide:

Well, she hasn't exactly "come around" and I'm living proof that nobody should do plan A forever, because I'm running out of steam. At the same time, I'm getting away from the drama of it all, so the "pain" isn't anything like it used 2 be.

Right now, my W would clearly like 2 keep our M 2gether, but have her privacy at the same time. We're both resuming conseling (finally!), so all might not be lost. But I'm very nearly done with this game, and I think she knows it. We'll see what we both want soon.

-2long

Spiderslayer - So glad to hear that things are going well for you and H. It's about time! Keep up the good work.

2long - Hang in there, buddy, you are an inspiration to all of us. How is the court case going?

Brett - Good job not sliding down the slippery slope. You are doing well so far, try to hang in there.

Brett -

What is going on with you? You never answered my Idaho D questions. What is up with that paperwork now? At what point, if any, does the process need to start over?

I have posted on Recovery regarding trust issues. I am now seeing the long road ahead that I must travel. Ug. It makes me tired and sick just thinking about it.

One day at a time. We have MC tomorrow, thank goodness. Hopefully some of this stuff will seem more clear after tomorrow. I am a mess.

I took an anti-anxiety pill, so I could be unconscious soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> But at least I will not be ranting and raving like a lunatic.

I am a crazy girl today.

Lots of love.

SS

Oops, I think Brett is out with you know who. Spiderslayer, can you post the flying by the instrument panel thing again?

Oops, I think Brett is out with you know who. Spiderslayer, can you post the flying by the instrument panel thing again?

Oops, I think Brett is out with you know who. Spiderslayer, can you post the flying by the instrument panel thing again?

Sorry SS, with Idaho D papers she has six months to file the final from the date of the initial filing. Which puts it at Aug8th. I've moved on without her. I no longer have the urge to be her husband any longer. She can do whatever with her life. She sees her life now as all she has ever wanted. Good. I need to find me and my life now.

One question I would pose for your advice is; at which point "Biblically" am I D? What I'm getting at is that I have grounds to issue her a "certificate of divorce" for her adultery. Is it the law of our human court system that is the authority here? Or is it at the point which I signed the papers march 17th? Does that constitute a certificate of D? Or do I wait for the D decree to show up in my mailbox? Before I am D. I understand legally within our system of laws I am still M until the decree shows up. Believer and SS you probably know me well enough to read between the lines here. It has gotten real slippery on this slope of late. Splittin' hairs with a dull blade. Well yak at ya later..

Brett -

I think that you wait until you are legally divorced.

The covenant between you and wife and the Lord has already been broken by WW. It would be best if you waited.

That slope is indeed slippery. And after all we have been through, it is very tempting to just slide.

Are you still flying by the instrument panel or are poised to hit the eject button?

Oh my. I am truly dense. I had no idea the slope was that slippery, and that you were actually sliding down in! Hm. I guess I have been a bit too involved with myself lately.

I actually have to agree with Believer about the D. And I also caution you again about being with this person so close to the ending of your marriage. I do not believe you will be doing her justice.

I know being with her makes the pain about your wife less, makes you feel hopeful and wanted and all those other good things. I am afraid the feelings generated while being around your friend are just a cover-up for your pain and feelings for your W.

Eventually, those feelings with this friend will wear off, and you will be left with emptiness on the inside, confusion, and probably a very hurt friend. I know it is hard to see what you are doing right now, because there are all kinds of feelings going on.

But remember, that is how a WS becomes a WS. Feelings. Just following the feelings! Wow, this makes me feel good, I will continue to do it, no matter what.

That is why they call these types of relationships you are venturing into "rebound" relationships. They are almost always short-term, and someone almost always gets very hurt.

This friend may say she understands, but if she lets herself feel loved by you, and after a time you cannot continue to do that, she will be hurt. It is human.

PLEASE back off and just talk with her on the phone and get to know her as a friend. Let her help you process some of your feelings about your W. Moving on, not being with her anymore, etc. She deserves to know the depth of the pain you are in.

You are covering your pain right now with anger. Hm. Sound familiar? How much anger have you received from your W through this whole thing? Do not become that which we do not believe is OK to become. Do not break the covenant. Wait for her to fully process the papers. If she doesn't, and wants to come back, you need to deal with that then.

By then, you might have healed enough you might be able to look her in the eye and say, "No thank you."

OR, you might want to give it another go. You just cannot know right now.

You are becoming foggy, Brett. Do not justify yourself. Do not split hairs. Just do not make what was done to you an excuse for doing what you know is not good.

Lots of love and support and HUGS!

SS

OK, flying by the instrument panel. I read a book, and it talked about how pilots, when flying airplanes, cannot go off their "feelings" when they are flying. They must rely on their instrument panel.

So if it is dark and stormy outside, the plane may feel like it is tilting, or going down. But the pilot cannot react off these feelings. They must rely on the instrument panel to let them know they are indeed flying straight and true to their destination.

I found this analogy very helpful. Because sometimes, I felt my plane was going down. So I would focus on my plan, on my end result, and ignore the storm around me.

And my H came home, because I stayed the course. I feel I worked hard for my victory. Because even if he didn't come home and D'ed me, I am OK. I knew I could make it on my own. I knew I had been true to myself and my beliefs and my M to the very end. Because the only person I can control is me.

I hope I remembered all the important parts of this story. I read that book back in January! Seems like a lifetime ago.

Lots of love and support.

SS

Thank you. I can be such an @$$ sometimes.

You are not an @$$. You are human. You are hurt. You are going through a very hard time in your life. Everything you are doing is natural.

It's just that, as we have all here at MB learned, sometimes what comes naturally is not always for the best.

For instance, I just worked out really hard, and naturally, I come home and feel justified to eat my boys' Easter candy. Now that I have done so, I realize it was not for the best. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ug. I gotta go shower. And then go to lunch with a good friend and H before our MC appointment.

I hope I can look my cheese enchilada in the eye when I get it! That is figurtive, of course. If my enchilada has an eye, well, I don't know what I would do. It would probably look something like my Spider Dance (very interesting), except more urgent.

I am getting a buzz from the sugar. Sorry. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

Love, SS