Another thing, Brett, is when and if you get divorced, it is best to get to know some women as friends. You should take your time and meet many women, do the whole dating thing again.

Don't be in a hurry to settle for one. You are a great guy, so take your time, do your healing.

Brett -

Well look at the progress you have made. When you were first here, you were hoping WW would not divorce you. Now you are counting the days.

If it is not too personal, just exactly how far down the slippery slope have you slid?

Brett? Brett?

Where are you???

Are you slip sliding away? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

SS

I'm here. Had a busy day at work yesterday and didn't have time last night to get on here. I talked w/galpal on the phone for a couple hours. Pretty much laid everything out in the open about where I'm at,where I've been and where I'm going. Nice to talk about those things to someone who has been in similar situations. Just like talking w/ya'll here. Unfortunately we are slipping. Don't think the timing is right. We discussed that. I have told her EVERYTHING. Including that at some point in time WW will want to come back. Also I'm having a question of conscience considering my religious beliefs. Guess some things in me have changed. Some haven't. She likes me for me(fogtalk). I addressed my fears and concerns over getting attatched to her and not ever wanting to hurt her. The biggest problem here is were both lonely, both been through some stuff. Trying to keep it as a friendship. But not doing well at that. A bit foggy here at times. But realize the ramifications of my actions. Because I've learned enough to know the dangers of relationships born out of adverse situations. Not to mention my D is not final so that puts me in the A category if this progresses at a rapid decent down the slippery slope.

I'm glad you are being honest with her. That at least is good. I know how easy it is to want all the pain to go away. But please work through it.

Have you heard anything from your wife lately?

Nothing from WW, other than when I dropped off our dog yesterday. She is going to go to her niece's graduation in June and wanted to use my creditcard for plane tix.Since she gets hers through travelocity, she doesn't have a c.c. and will give me cash. Inlaws asked if I was coming down for grad. But I said I didn't know, didn't know how "uncomfortable" that would be with WW around. Guess OM isn't going. He knows he isn't welcome.Of course me being the "nice" guy I told her I was ok with her using my CC. About to get busy here w/jets...

Hmmm. Time for her to get a credit card, or she could use OM's. She has made her decision to make a life with OM. Time for her to get busy and do it.

I think now that you have signed the D papers, time to let her go, and that includes financially.

Well since OM filed bankruptcy a couple years ago(I found that out surfing the net,public info) he probably can't get a c.c. Hmm..there is her "security,knowing the future is somewhat secure." I know I should tell her to climb a rope. But I am such a "nice" guy. MIL can't figure out why she is still depending on me for stuff too. Not concerned as to the meaning of any of it. IC said there will be dwindling contact for a while, at least til the dog passes on. Then I'll break out "the Pen" and construct a masterpiece. One that if it were a movie would cause the viewers with a heart to weep.

I just pray I haven't grabbed the wheel of my ship and steered it for the center of the storm. I need to let the Lord be at the wheel. I'm just a passenger. Thanks for all your support. The list was very meaningful. It gave me insight as to who I am and what to protect. Off I go to ports unknown..

Brett -

Yes, you are a nice guy, but time for her to face the reality that she has chosen. You would be doing her a favor to let her depend on OM. She will have to face the fact that there may be a lot of things she will no longer be able to do because of her choices.

I do feel sorry for her, but it will be good for her to finally realize what she has done. That may wake her up. You are now enabling the affair.

Brett:

"One that if it were a movie would cause the viewers with a heart to weep."

Viewers? Hearts? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Yeah, I bet you could write a masterpiece.

About the cc. Sure, help her enough 2 leave her with a fond memory of your support, then pinch her off like a... ...well, never mind. Let her get that need off OM then. He'll fail miserably, and give her the oppor2nity for some serious personal growth.

Soul searching! Good for the digestion! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long

2long - Yes, you are finally back. How are things going with you and WW. How about your court case?

believer:

Well, I just went through one of those "s2uare one" events 2 days ago. Still trying 2 sort out what it means and how I feel about it. Long story. I regret that I never did plan B.

If we go 2 court, it's going 2 take another year and a half. That will be about 4 years after the fire.

Hanging in there the best I can,
-ol' 2long

Brett -

Stay the course, my friend. Please remember that our WS's let their "feelings" and unmet needs guide their decisions, with disastrous results.

One of you is simply going to have to put on the brakes and stop that train! For serious real.

WAIT. It will be sweeter when it is right, anyway. Just begin with a friendship. Both of you commit to waiting until the D is final. With no exceptions. Honesty will guide you.

All my hope and prayers and strength are with you.

Love, SS

Our dog had a seizure at 230 this a.m. She stopped breathing, heart stopped for 15 seconds. WW called me at 730am to tell me that. Guess it is time. We'll have to put her to sleep in the next couple of days. Thirteen years, I'll miss her. To bad she spent her final days in a broken home. Hope OM was worth it all.Good luck, goodbye,good riddance!

I'm so sorry to hear that. It makes me feel bad that this is happening to your dog right now. Just one more reason to regret the choices your wife is making.

Hang in there, we'll support you through this.

We put our dog to sleep late yesterday afternoon.
She was slipping and suffering. But it still leaves me with the "did I do the right thing?" feeling. Thirteen years of joy. She will be missed.

Brett:

That's very sad.

It will be interesting 2 see if your W starts missing you with no remaining "excuses" for periodic contact.

best,
-ol' 2long

Brett -

I am so sorry. I had to put my mom's dog down about 6 years ago, and it sucked. I had the same feeling - did I do the right thing? She was having a hard time, most of the time her back legs didn't work, she couldn't go potty on her own, etc.

But on the way to the vet, she had her head out the window, sniffing the air, still loving life. And I bawled and bawled and bawled. And in time it got much better.

Now our dog that H and I have had since 1990, is getting senile and strange and has a skin disorder and poops here and there. And licks everything constantly and gets into our garbage cans for . . . well, we don't know why. We don't hardly put anything in them anymore for fear he will eat it! The lastest strange thing is anything with toothpaste on it.

Kind of the end of an era - a period of time. The death of a pet definately does that, marks the end of a time period. That is how I felt when I put my mom's dog down. My mom has MS and has 100% dementia and lives in a nursing home. And when Heather (the dog) was put down, I realized that all the time I remembered with my mom when she was well was truly over. Heather was the last link to that part of my life.

Very strange the way our brains and emotions work.

Lots of love and support to you in this confusing and emotional time for you. Please keep posting your feelings to us. We love you.

SS

Brett - Sorry that you are going through this. It is very sad to lose a pet. But after awhile I think you will realize that she was suffering, and at least was with someone who loved her.

I see so many dog owners who do not care at all about their dog. Your "Chevy" had a good life. Please take very good care of yourself right now.

Thanks for all your support. I stayed busy at work yesterday. Today I started pet sitting for my neighbors two little dogs,fish,birds and cat. They are gone to FL for a week, lucky buggers.

Has anyone seen "The Rainbow Bridge?" Don't know the author. A friend from work gave me a copy printed on paper w/rainbow.
There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows,hills and valleys with lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. The old and frail animals are young again. Those who are maimed are made whole again. They play all day with each other.

There is only one thing missing. They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth. So, each day they run and play until the day comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up! The nose twitches! The ears are up! The eyes are staring! And this one suddenly runs from the group.

You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet, you take him or her in your arms and embrace. Your face is kissed again, and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be seperated.

I'm going to frame it and put a pic of the pooch w/it. Pretty neat huh?