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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 13 |
You have to tell! Otherwise you really don't have a marriage anyway. And having been screwed over by my best friend i can still honestly say the truth is way better than the deceit. Even if my husband up and leaves me, at least I'll know what I have in my life is real. No one wants a life that isn't real and could you imagine the pain that will occur if after years of deceit the truth finally comes out? Take him away for the week. Spend a few days showing how much you care for him. Start talking, tell me you have something important to tell him but you don't want it it to ruin your marriage. Tell him all you have been doing for him has been real and an expression of your true feelings for him. Then tell him. Tell him it's over(the affair) and you are so sorry that you didn't even want to tell him, that you were willing to live with the pain of holding it inside of you to spare him the pain,but you realize he deserves the truth then cry like a baby and beg his forgiveness. Tell him you'll go to marriage counseling and do what ever it takes to keep your marriage together. If he leaves he may come back, if he does you can really work on a real marriage. And who knows he may have a deep dark secret of his own to tell that he has been holding onto so he doesn't hurt you....
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
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OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416 |
rebeccarachel,
thanks for your reply/support. I know you are right. I want to tell him very much. I want to be able to be 100% honest and open with him. I do not want to keep him in a position where he could find out later on his own and have the additional hurt dumped on him that would cause. I am glad I did not tell him yesterday, I was not really prepared enough yet. And this is too important for me to do poorly. Getting support from all of you that have gone thru this, seeing it thru your eyes helps me immensly. This is why I keep coming back here. And this is why I know I will find the strength to tell him and to support him as he comes to terms with it all, and if he still wants our marriage to continue, I am confident I will be able to get it right this time. About 17yrs too late, but better late than never. thanks again.
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 107
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 107 |
<small>[ March 10, 2004, 07:12 PM: Message edited by: chris37 ]</small>
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