My ears were burning...anyone call Mortarman (man, that sounded stupid). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Racefan,
Welcome to my world. As has been said before on your thread...you are where I was at two years ago this month. Finishing a deployment, hostile phonecalls from my wife, and family/friends warning me what to expect when I got home. Little did I know hoe bad it was.
I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was a Christian wife, and never in a million years would I have suspected this. But I came home to a woman that didnt want to sleep with me, that was very standoffish...and three days after I got home, family and friends brough me the evidence of what she had been doing.
Take my number below my name and do a search for my threads (They started in June 2002) See where I have gone, what it took. See what mistakes I have made. Get yourself ready.
Sailor, your wife is having an affair...do not kid yourself. Things are getting tense because she is days away from not being able to have her cake and eat it too. She is talking with him, planning. He is telling her that he is there for her, that she just need be brave and do "the right thing."
So, you are going to get hit hard when you get home. GET READY!!!
Dont expect sex...expect her to move out. Get ready. If you have time, get some intel on her (get a PI hired, or get family/friends to do a little intel gathering). GET READY!
Read everything on here, get books by the Harleys and the book Torn Assunder. Get smart quick.
Affairs only havea 5% success ratio. ALL WSs believe they will be in that 5%. They are so deluded.
Dont you be. Know the facts on affairs. Ignore her fog babble. It isnt the truth (although you will want to find the truth in it). She will accuse you of everything...it is all your fault. You made her like this. You are responsible.
She will then go to "well, I am responsible. I have just dug a hole, and I guess I have to sleep in the bed I made." Do not listen to all of this. You learn from here, and stay on message.
Is this guy in the military? If he is, get some intel (video, audio) of them together and report it. He can then spend time in the brig!!! Plus lose his career.
If he isnt, then get intel on him Find out what he does for a living. Is he married? So that when the bomb drops, everyopne will know. His family. His work. I sent a letter to the corporate offices of the business that was being run by the OM. Said "what kind of place are you running there, with your managers running around, committing adultery, breaking up families, destroying your kids." Blah, blah, blah.
Read, read, read. Get ready. Prepare for the worse. Because it has already happened. Your wife is prepared. She has made some decisions, although she has done so under the influence. She is not in her right mind.
You have to be, especially for your kids. If you have to, get out of the military now!! I am retiring as we speak. Take care of those kids. Get the goods on her. Do not let her take the kids from you or out of your house. If she wants to go, then she goes alone.
Contact a lawyer. Spell everythign out. Record in a journal all conversations with her, everything you do for her or the kids. You will need this in court. You must get prepared for the worse. Peace thru strength.
I stopped eating also. Lost 40 pounds. STOP IT!! Get back, see the doc...and get some meds (Prozac, etc). You have to fight for your family, and your wife. You cant do so looking like you are half dead.
You have the advantage. The OM is swimming uphill. The odds are in your favor. But this will be a long process. And it will get darker before it is over.
In His arms.
