Bumping up an old thread I think is worth to be focused on again. It should be read by husbands.

This is OT, but I noticed you are from Norway, which is where my DD dreams of living one day. Okay, that's all I have for now.

Oh, there are many wonderful things about DH that I will post later. But I need to get ready for work.

"This is OT, but I noticed you are from Norway, which is where my DD dreams of living one day. "

We like to hear that kind of thing It is after all the best place in the world to live But we are only five million who know!

End of thread jack!

Wow...I am blown away buy what some of you ladies get as a warm up LOL!

I don't get any of that...bascially just a gentle touch on my back while were in bed is his signal for SF....there's no playful stuff going on during the day cause we arenn't actually together that much to have that going on....I never knew men actually did all this stuff to get their wives in the mood....maybe I am too easy....a little petting and I am ready to go as they say....this topic is upsetting me now....I am feeling ripped off...sorry that's another topic.

I have nothing to add

I take quite a bit longer than H to go from zero to 60. And rolling over in bed at 11PM-midnight and putting his hand on my stomach, rubbing my hip and all those other signals that he wants sex..well, doesn't quite get me there. I've told him that I need some time to warm up, that back and neck massages help but what helps most of all is a lot of non-sexual affection during the day, lack of AOs on his part, attempts to contact me or answer my contacts while at work, talking to me (conversation).

I got a roll of the eyes and an argument. "I give you a back rub and it doesn't do anything".

His idea of a back rub is to spend about 10 seconds on my back/shoulders and then immediately start moving his hands down...

ETA: I tried to combat this in a way that I thought would work for both of us, by initiating SF on my own about 2-4 times a week. He got annoyed. He wants to be the one to initiate. And have me respond in the way he thinks I should respond.

A couple things that jump out at me about this thread...

Marriage builders was around in as early as '03, at least. Had I been looking for something like this then I wouldn't be where I am now

believer has been around the whole time.

WOW

Oh believer,

Did you really expect a comment on this thing? And I say that really with a smile..*S*... I saw this when I was looking for my thread to update.

For one thing, 98% of men would never tell anything about this except to their wives only. And the 2% who would comment, well I doubt you gals would even care what they say.....*s*.

Anyway, we have been well trained not to reveal classified into..


Tom

BH

I have read threads as far back as 2000 and references to 1999.

Believer:

Not too many women answered. Maybe more now. Lots of guys are dolts, but we all knew that. A man is not a prophet in his own home, but we knew that too. A woman is also not a prophetess in her own home, oops.

After the courting stage, it drops down to laundry, dealing with the kids, jobs, mowing the yard, making dinner, taking a bath, washing the dishes, sweeping, raking, trash, Junior fell out a tree, folding the laundry, vacuuming, yada, yada.

Before marriage, woman thinks about it all day, what she is going to wear, where they are going to go, will he pop the question, how does my hair look, does my butt look fat in this pair of pants, what is he going to do to try to get in my pants, yada yada. The usual stuff.

Before marriage, guy thinks of a number of things, mostly the last one on the list above. He might even consult with his group of experts, his buddies, who will offer all sorts of rational and irrational suggestions.

Guys don't read Cosmo. And way too many keep trying to find the on/off switch. Uh, works for them, right?

And even more confusing for guys is that if they find a method that works, it will quit working after a while and they have to find a new one.

Trust me on this, guys want to know. Well, before marriage they want to know. After, not so much until they get beat up a bit. Do I have a solution? Glad you asked.

No I don't. Well maybe. Learn guy talk?

Larry

So guys want to know eh?

Taking into consideration the average age group here is prolly around 45+, some of these may ring a bell. lol
This is as Cosmopolitan as I get!

For me, it starts with physical attractiveness.

1) Keep yourself as fit as possible, I love it that my H does a physically demanding job. At 54, he's in awesome shape and that turns me on.

Go for a regular haircut, not just when you 'think' you need one. There is nothing more unattractive to me than hair growing down the neck or out of the ears and nose!
Every 6 weeks is too long, more like every 3 weeks, this way you alway looked trimmed.
Make your next appt. at your present one rather than trying to get in at the last minute, and it commits you to going. It's routine.

And ... please don't cut your toenails in front of your W.

Pay attention to your teeth! A clean mouth is a sexy mouth!

Excess back and chest hair, get rid of it, unless of course your W likes it. Lots of guys have it waxed or clipped.
Don't forget about armpit and 'cough cough' the end of the treasure path ...... We gals trim it, you can to!

No baggy pants or shirts, if you've got them around for leisure wear or for working in the garage, GET RID OF THEM!!!!

Underwear ...... if you insist on tighty whities, they must be in good shape. All pieces of undergarment must be recognizeable when held up!
My H insists on TW's for work, but wears the tighter knit boxers when we go out. They are just so much more sexy to look at.
(but PLEEEEZE make sure they fit well, otherwise we are back to the nasty worn out TW's)

2) Personally, I don't need flowers or gifts, okay maybe once in a while. I prefer domestic help, in the house or for me the yard is a big one.
My H just took down a couple of trees that needed to go ..... huge $LB deposit, huge.
It's true, find out how to make the biggest $LB deposits and you will reap the benefits of SF.

3) Throughout the day ..... little peck on the cheek or the back of the neck (big one for me), quick hug, a compliment even if I'm covered in mud ....
Flirt throughout the day too, little whispers of naughties ..... spoken or texted. I love getting sexy texts from my H when I'm at work, makes me think of HIM on my break.
When I leave work, I'm thinking of the night ahead! Bottom line, H is on my mind.

4) That massage that believer described .... ditto! btw, you did a superb job of describing it!
There are some really great sensual oils out there, take a trip to an adult shop or even a pharmacy, and bring one home yourself.
I'm a sucker for soft kisses on the back of my neck, around to my ears and back down the front of my neck .......

I'm stopping here, will leave room for the other ladies to continue! lol

Very good post, Vittoria.

If you aren't "fit," don't despair too much. For me, a big part of AS is hygiene. My H has the best smelling shampoo....Head and Shoulders. Yeah, you heard me.

Kissing is important to most women. And if you aren't a "long movie kiss" expert, it really doesn't matter. A large quantity of short kisses can work just as well. Another thing that I (and quite a few of my friends) like is to have our hair brushed. Just let me get the tangles out first!

A big turn on are two little words...Thank You. When DH is working on his laptop and I bring him his plate for supper, he always has this really happy look on his face and says "Thank You." Appreciation. I have been doing this for years, and he still thanks me almost every time.

Another thing that H has done that melts my heart is this. Sometimes when I want to tell him "war stories" from work or talk about how I "feel," he reaches over, grabs the remote, and turns off the TV. Yes, he can hear with the TV on, but him turning it off and facing me sends such a message.

I won't get specific with other things, but I would say a good rule of thumb is take twice as long and be twice as gentle as you think you should until the bedroom is really "warm." It's worth the extra effort.