You know something I was just sitting here thinking about that I never told you guys. When I was legally separated from my first husband I was like 22 years old. I met this guy, we hit it off and we had so much fun together. Dancing and partying and going to the malls. Well I knew that he had been married and he said that him and his wife were separated, that he lived in the apartment off the side of the house where she lived so he could help take care of their daughter. He even took me to the apartment. Well I had moved back in with my mom at this time. One night the phone rang, it was his wife....she went on to inform me that they weren't separated, but they were indeed still very much together and that she was pregnant. Talk about fall over, I about died. I immediately broke it off with him and I felt absolutely terrible. I never saw him again, I ended up going back with my husband and we went on to have my daughter and divorced later on. Anyway I kind of know what it is like to be the OW except I didnt' do it on purpose and I certainly couldn't have stayed the OW. After my experience and how bad I felt I can't believe that people actually like that feeling. Him and his wife never got back together, he is remarried with two kids. He never see's his other daughter at all. His ex-wife moved away and took her and he doesn't see her. It is a very sad story, in which I feel responsible for in someway. But unknowingly I was the OW. My WH OW knew he was married because she had met me and we had seen each other at functions as a family. Anyway just a little piece of info. for you all. Being the OW whether on purpose or not can not be fun for very long.

NY

NY, thank you for sharing the infomation. I decide to not to have all these thought to bother me. Do something! I am going to Tuesday Morning again. Hopefully they are open now. I will let you know what I get.

Lots hugs and prayers.

NY,

I'm with you on that thought about being the OW can't be pleasant for long.

The problem is, the world is really filled with some sick people anymore, and there are a LOT of predatory women out there who think if they see something and they like it and they can make it theirs, there's no problem in that. My WH is with one of those. Too bad that he had a wife and kids. She wants him because he can pull HER out of HER messy situation. To heck with vows

She's still not filed D from her H either. Not sure she ever will unless he does. He lives with another woman. She's seeing my WH. No big deal in their eyes, I guess. Makes me sick.

LL

LL

I know what you mean the OW's husband cheated on her and she had a small child. She went around and told everyone and they all felt sorry for her and then she turned around and did it to me and my H. Now what sense does that make? To be hurt so bad and then do it to another family? Except she hurt two kids not just one. I would like to poke her in the eyes, one day I just might.

Oh, NY you are here. Do you feel better?

I am lost again. I don't know what to do. Please read ARK's post to me. I am very confused.

NY,

I would like to poke her in the eyes,

Perhaps not to permanently take away their vision, but to really gouge them bad enough they have to wear ugly patches over their eyes until they heal.

I think we should hunt down all the OP and do just that to them. THAT might actually make me feel better for a couple days! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

LL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think we should hunt down all the OP and do just that to them. THAT might actually make me feel better for a couple days! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The only problem there is that whatever you do to her (OP) you must also do to your husband. He is the "OP" too.

Don't worry I would have no problem doing that to him either. The thought has already crossed my mind several times. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey, I'm totally up for that as well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> They both deserve it.

LL

Ladies, let's imagine it. Sometimes I hate them so much. I know it is not right for a christian tohate. I can'r help to sin.

Imagine it hell L&H, I might do it....LOL. Well maybe I will dream of doing it anyway. Plan B is lonely. Glad I have kids. I think I have decided that I really don't want him back now. My plan B is for me to lose my feelings for him. I read the recovery board a lot, it isn't fun and I don't think I am the type of person that can take back someone that has done such terrible stuff to me on top of the terrible life that I have already had that he knew about.

NY

NY, it is hard, it is a narrow path. But you can do it. Do it for your children. Don't give up too soon. Look at me, I am still hanging in here. My WH even doesn't admit his A. He had those foggy talks. But I am still here. I will hang in till the last minute. I know it is hard.

Do you remember in one of my post. We went to a Chinese restraunt with fortune cookies. The reading of mine was: Your path is ardious, but amply rewarding.

His was: when you speak openly and honestly, someone will listen to you.

NY,

Sounds like you're doing Plan B the right way and doing well at it (unlike me!). Do live for yourself while your WH is gone, but I will promise you God can work miracles if he comes back. When my WH had his other A 12 years ago, I was certain by the time I filed for D that I had no love for him and I didn't want him back. I remember even praying when thing seemed to be going against what I wanted (because I wanted to move on), "God if this is what you want for me (him back in my life), then you have to help me learn to love him again."

And by reading my current posts, you can see what God did. (TRUE STORY!)

LL

Happy St. Patty's day to all!

Here is my day so far......pretty darn good if I do say so myself....

I did a lot of stuff today that would make WH a little mad. Hung some sexy stuff in the bathroom, made some stuffed shells (which once again he ate) hmmmmmm..... He plowed the whole driveway for me....and folded my laundry....Hmmmm! What is up with all of that? I have no idea myself. I had cooked my kids breakfast this morning of bacon and eggs, the house smelled real good when he walked in too. I am a little lost with the laundry thing though, he even carried it upstairs for me like he used to do when we were together. This is the first time he has done anything for us since he left. When he dropped off S I went to the bathroom at my moms. He came in with S put him down to say good bye and my mom said his eyes were darting all over looking for me. She said he was looking all over down the hallway. I never did come out though. So now he can wonder what I look like, or if I am happy or not, because he has no idea because no contact is no contact, I won't break it again!

NY

NY, I am so proud of you. You are very strong!

Thanks L&H. How are things with you today? Still not good or okay? I also see he cleaned out the dryer, folded the rest of the clothes that were in the dryer and hung my jacket in the closet on a hanger. Very strange things he did around here today. I am not understanding any of it, but it will fly for now.

NY

SS where are you today? Where is believer and ARK? Is everyone taking the day off? LL, LH is anyone here today but me? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I feel like I am here alone when you guys don't answer......LOL.

NY hon, I am here. Today is my busy day. I got lots of work to do. But I am here.

How is your day? How do you feel?

I just had an ok day. My feeling is numb. I don't think there is any progress in my situation. Your WH seems to have sign to turn around. Stick to the no contact. You will be there!

NY,

I'm here, too. Just having a busy day as well and had a couple appointments outside the office (and got stuck in traffic behind the St. Patrick's Day parade and was 15 minutes late for one of them) Urgh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

And I'm getting a nice spring cold from all these weather changes, so am feeling rather miserable and tired today.

Other that, I'm hanging in there. My WH left a voice message this morning telling me to have a good day. I text msg'd him back the same because didn't want to bother him at work.

Seems we're at least speaking in friendly tones now, but I'm worried (because it's in my nature and I HATE that about myself) that he's just trying to get on my good side and will still end up moving to a bigger place with her because he's suck as sucker when comes to helpless women.

I'm sort of feeling a 'catch 22' here. I don't want him back home if he's still seeing her, but on the other hand (and this was even suggested by my IC today), if he did move back home, it would be a great excuse to end it then with her. It's just taking a HUGE chance (and I'm not even remotely sure he'd consider it).

My IC said it might be worth a try, because the worst that could happen is that he moves back, things start back up, and he has to move out and we're back where we are right now. I just don't want to go through the hurt of taking him back and then having to have him move out again.

What to do? What to do? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

What to even say or suggest to him if he calls tonight.

At any rate, NY, sounds like things went surprisingly well for you today and that maybe your WH is starting to think home and family doesn't sound so bad after all?! Let's hope!

LL

LL

I know it is hard for you. I can't imagine my WH being a drinker on top of everything else. My first H was an alcoholic and it was no fun. I tried with him but he was just too addicted and wouldn't even admit it so he didn't want help. I couldn't live with it, esp. after D was born. Anyway I don't know about my WH and what is up with his business today. I can't figure it out, this is the first thing he has done here without being asked since this whole things started in Nov. I have no idea what he is thinking or doing. I do know that he was really looking forward to seeing me today at my Moms and I wasn't there for him to see. She said he was looking all over for me and kind of waiting for me to come down the hall. We haven't seen each other at all not once since the 5th, well other than passing by him this morning in our cars. He waved I just looked ahead and kept on driving. My D thought that was rude, but what am I supposed to do just wave like nothing happened. I mean I am human after all.

I really set the house up good for him to come. I wonder how he liked my redecorating in the garage, or the lack of decorations anyway? I also had the house smellin good and everything went perfect I think. I feel really empowered today. I don't know why, but I feel like I have the upper hand in this no matter what happens. I have the house, the kids, most of his money, my new truck, the dogs. I pretty much have life by the [censored]. Pretty good setup, and he wasn't here much anyway. Worked nights for the last 7 years, so it is almost like he is at work all the time anyway.

Have a good night LL what ever you decide we are here for you.

NY