Yeah even though I'm bummed I will get through this. I just wish she would have called like she did Monday. I have the thoughts that the OM is telling her that he doesn't want her to see me. I know I shouldn't worry about that but I do worry about my W I just want to know she's ok that's all I ask. Just a little honesty is all just call say your not coming what ever make an excuse but call and let me know now I get to sit here and worry all night oh goody another good nights sleep for me. One good thing though day 2 and no smoking. So with all this stress I'm doing well with that. I must find the little positives I can. Thanks for the encouragement RR, you hang in there too ok your in my prayers.

well said and i'm sure felt by many here. i'm leaving in about 30 minutes, won't have computer access until tomorrow. hang in there and good job w/the not smoking. prayers to you too.

Well RR I called my W today and all I got was her voicemail again. I can't even talk to my W I feel my situation is hopeless and I have no chance. I could be happy for my W if she would drop OM and find someone else cause I know he's a no good SOB. I told my W that she should have called me to let me know that she wasn't going to make it now I'm worried sick about her I hate this so much. I mean I want to believe the MB principals and all but it's fine for me and I know that they are supposed to be for me so I can improve myself. I want my W to be involved so I don't know maybe I'll sign up for counceling and tell them my story and see what I should do. I want to save my M but it looks so dim she's been gone for over a month now I miss her so much I hate being in this house all by myself, cause all I see is her in this house. Ah patience John Patience. So this is where I'm at. Maybe she will call tomorrow but I'm not going to call her anymore, but I'm afraid if I do that she will think I don't care about her it's like a vicious circle.