Mom and Dad.
How are things going? I'm worried about you!

Hi Ladysing. Dad read your post this morning but he had to leave to go to work. We are doing better each day. He seems pretty depressed today when I talk to him on the phone! I cant tell if it is withdrawal still or remorse. I think it is probably withdrawal, although he says he is getting over her. I am just patiently waiting.

Last night we just held each other in bed. It was nice. It felt so good to hold him. all this time, these years, we missed out on so much! so sad! Isn't it! But we are doing well...Hopefully Dad can post tonight..

A little secret..I think he is quite embarrassed about his actions the other day. And ya'lll wern't too harsh on him...It really made him think! He knows he was wrong and he felt terrible. You guys just keep those harsh ones coming. They are helping him! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Mom, I'm glad Dad is still reading.
His actions are NORMAL and to be expected. He is grieving the fantasy of the lost affair and is just coming out of the fog. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Your reactions are also NORMAL, although you seem to be handling things MUCH better than many. (myself included) He is a lucky man that you are willing to work so hard to help him through this.

I do NOT want to ignore your comments regarding his thinking of her more than you. I also noticed the same thing and it is maddening! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

You see, he has you at home and he knows that you are there to work on the marriage, he KNOWS that and is safe in that. His feelings about the OW are just irrational but then so was the affair. It's going to take a lot of time and patience and I am glad that you seem to be willing to give both. Your boys will benefit in the long run when you have fought for your marriage and saved your family!

Keep it up and remember that it's just one day at a time. I'm proud of you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Is his having the income of doing rounds in the nursing home more important than saving the marriage and preserving the family of 3 little boys?

That is the bottomline. Continued contact ruins many, many marriages because all WS does is prolong withdrawl indefinitely. Sooner, rather than later, YOUR lovebank will be drained dry and your marriage will dry up as well.

Even if his quitting that job caused you to lose most of what you have, what good is it if you lose your family because he continues having contact?

If you find his posts painful, stop reading them. Do you not want him to have a safe place here? If he keeps getting clobbered by your negative reactions to what he posts,he won't feel safe and he'll stop posting.

<small>[ April 02, 2004, 07:33 PM: Message edited by: mthrrhbard ]</small>