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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
Does it make sense to go into Plan B after the talk tonight? That means no direct contact between the two of you, only through intermediaries, until the MBW.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925 |
I even don't know what plan I am in. But I need to work things out with him. Expecially arrangement with kids. If he insists to move out, he need to take his stuff out, not leaving them here and comes whenever he likes. I need to set boundaries too. No plan can go without anything irresponsible like this.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
How did it go last night? Has he been forced to choose contact with you or contact with OW?
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925 |
Cherished, he even didn't give me an answer. please see my other thread in PlanA/Plan B. These guys are so coward. he even can't choose, doesn't want to be responsible for their own action.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925 |
Friends, please read my threat under Plan A/ Plan B, about my converstaion with WH, and give me advice and comment. I need help in how to make him feel that I love him.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
I read it. It makes me sick because it is so similar to what I went through. He blames YOU for your not trusting him when he is having an affair. YOU are not to blame. YOU are handling yourself very well.
What YOU need to do right now is GET AWAY FROM HIM so that he has no excuse for blaming YOU for what HE is doing.
Tell him YOU are letting him go. Encourage him to attend the MBW with you and in the meantime you will not have direct contact with him.
One thing I've heard Harley say on his radio show is that the W always loses in comparison with the OW because the OW is a fantasy. Get out of the competition NOW!!!
I never had to deal with actually knowing my H was having an A. I only suspected. PLEASE take care of yourself. YOU are the stabilizing force for those children.
Tell him you love him, you want to work on the marriage, and you are willing to attend the MBW. In the meantime, HE is the one with choices to make. You will not stay in a threesome. He wants that choice and he is stalling. You need to force a choice by getting away from him.
Don't underestimate the long term health effects of tolerating his behavior. And what finally ended the A for us was my call to OWH. You did the right thing.
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995 |
L&H
I posted on your thread in plan A/plan b please read it when you are done here.
NY
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