PAL,

I am just sitting here shaking my head. But probably not at what you might think. Your H KNEW you were going to see OM, yes you assured him that nothing would happen but he KNEW if you were doing this, there was a big problem, and you rubbed it in his face.

I don't think telling him of the PA with OM will shock him much, but you rubbing it in his face when you left on the trip and went through to see OM going and coming was really a sad sad thing to do to him.

Have you talked to him about his thoughts when you left on that trip? Have you asked him to express what he felt, what he thought when you were gone? You might want to at least let him get that part out.

The sex with your cousin was...what can I say. You were way out of control and what I wonder is what are you doing to get back in control. Your last line suggests that you regret deeply being back with your H. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> so now here I am in my happy little home living my happy little life with the weight of the world on my back-whatever-pal </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Unlike most people you placed the weight squarely on your back. What are you going to do to address this? It seems you are not equiped to handle the weight of the world. You need some help. Even if you were NOT married your behavior was NOT acceptable. You are an OW in one case and I don't know what to say about the other. Frankly, this is NOT about marriage is it? It is something else. Cousin was not an OM or someone you built up a relationship with before. You just gave yourself permission to do this. Why?

What are you going to do when your H comes in contact with your family? Wants to go to Hawaii?

I really think you need to seek some counseling, and then you need to develop a plan to start removing the weight from your shoulders. I'm thinking you need to be honest with your H, but I'm also thinking you should not do it until YOU understand yourself much better. I would definitely encourage you to get a fast strong start on that part of this.

Please think about this.

God Bless,

JL

PAL:

Are you ok? I've been looking around for you, but you're nowhere to be found. Check back in. Let us know how we cna help you get through all this. You're amongst friends here.