Thanks Tinman. This has seriously damaged me. I should have listened to everyone else. I feel dead inside. When I think of him I feel nothing. Not love. Not pain. Well, maybe rage. But that is it.

That is the worst part of this rollercoaster ChristyV, we sit here and run the gambit of emotions feel good one day, depressed another, and let's not forget anger. You and me both wonder how can the person I pledged to spend the rest of my life with do this to me. I like to think that the WS runs through the rollercoaster of emotions also not just after the affair. I mean my wife knows what she's doing is wrong and she told her mother this and it's unbelievable the selfishness of the WS. I run through all the emotions like you mad one night depressed the next. I wasn't sleeping good lately because of all the emotions and thinking that we do especially in bed. I realize the best thing to do is keep busy the other day we were so busy at work that I didn't even think of my W till I got home. I also realized why I wasn't sleeping good I used to wrap my arm around my W at night when we went to bed so I brought an extra pillow in for a substitute, it's not the one I want but it works and I've been sleeping. Lack of sleep makes me think on things alot. You hang in there Christy. {{{{{{{{{{ChristyV}}}}}}}}}}