Hey, guys, I didn't mean the above to sound so harsh. Writing in a hurry.

What was so harsh about it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

mom, did everything go ok with Steve this morning?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
<strong> mom, did everything go ok with Steve this morning? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">hi Mel! I think so...Steve always spends a lot of time with H. Steve is earning his money with him that is for sure, cuz he is so hard headed and he is tough <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> He said he felt a little better after talking to him today. He seemed happier today, but he stil hasn't gone to that darn nursing home. He was supposed to go today after hours, but he was too tired. I told him if he plans to go during her hours, it wil not be pretty here. I also offered to go with him if he wanted me to <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I could see his fog lifting a bit today...lets hope it stays going in this direction! I gave him an analogy of doing cocaine. You want to quit and repair the damage you have done to your family. You have a line of coke to do. Even if you do 1/2 that line, will that repair damage? What about just a 1/4 line? NOOO, cuz eventually the tiger will come back full force and you wont be able to stop again.

Your right though. Why IS this place enabling an AFFAIR? I am going to have a heart to heart with H tomorrow after talking with Steve myself. I am going to write down all my questions for him tongiht so I dont miss out on anything.

I can't tell you how glad I am you are both counseling with Steve. He does so much good!

And I like your analogy about the cocaine. You are exactly right. I liken it to an alcoholic have a little drink now and then, it's not the 10th one that gets ya, its the FIRST ONE! So when he sees the OW, he is having that first drink all over again.

Is the culture in his hospital the same as in this nursing home? I have one sister who is the Comptroller for a nursing home chain and another who is an RN. They both tell me this is fairly common.

Wouldn't it be funny if you called the H's of all those other nurses at the Nursing Home and told them that their wives not only know about a blatant case of adultery in the workplace, but they also support and enable it? Wouldn't it be funny to make them worry about the safety of their own marriages in that kind of environment?

I know, I know..this is a total waste of time. And energy. And would be of absolutely no value to Mom and her situation. BUT I CAN DREAM, CAN'T I?????

But it is the activist mind in me, wanting to impact the world, make a change. I HATE ADULTERY. Always have. I wish I could open people's eyes to the evil, cruel, damaging effects of A's.

Or maybe it is the "spiteful, vindictive, mean and selfish streak" in me (as said by my loving and thoughtful--do you sense the sarcasm here-- WH!!!!)

ummmmmm ..... who wrote this post? MT3B or D23B? I am confused. The post came from D23B. M23B, did you knock H on the head and jump on his computer?


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Yea, I thought I was in the minority too! H would always tell me about so and so cheating with Nurse D...or cute nurse D is flirting with him. I have always LOVED my H hands. He has the nicest hands...One day he told me that Nurse D said the same thing.

I woke up with a BAD feeling today. he was dressed for work! I thought we were going to spend the day together...But he made the changes without telling me. I asked him if he was going to RR nursing home and he said this afternoon. He would do the other ones first. I asked him if he WANTED to go while she was there and he said "ummm, yes, but the lawsuit thing bothers me"...I said "but not the marriage...a lawsuit is more important than the marriage"..he jsut turned the other way and didn't want to talke about about it. TYPICAL right now.

He then came in the kitchen where I was and was a bit more receptive to me. I gave him another scenerio of OW living in this house and me out of the picture. Taking care of 3 ADHD boys, one with ODD and who is very disruptive. While I am spending the last year or so with my dad. I would give up sole custody for the boys to be with their father. He said OW would do it...but then he would be turning the tables...hmmm, BS can do this, why cant you...hmmm, what do you mean you cant take care of the kids alone, BS does it...takes them to practices, cooks dinner...you cant do 8 loads of laundry a day...why not my W could. I always had clean undies...why cant you handle them alone for 2 nights a week....why is DS8's HW not done. Wife always made sure it was done. OH, you missed the DR's appt. why aren't my meds filled...and what about DS's meds. Get with it..Wife could do all this....

Yup, that is what would happen.

OK, must go get DS's to school now...H is on phone with SH now...hopefully giving good advice. I told him he needs it today. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Hi Mom & Dad,
Just wanted to say I am logging off in a tic and won't be back on untill next Tuesday as we are going away.
I want you both to know that I will be praying for you guy's daily, and I do so hope that when I get back that Dad's fog has lifted.
Dad, please, please take notice of what SH is telling you. Look at Mom, surely you can see the pain, I can see it and I'm not the one looking into her eyes. You are a smart man, please do not let this OW destroy your lives.

We had a Dr in our small town having an affair and he lost a hell of a lot of female patients on account of it! My brother told his wife "Change Dr's, I don't want you going to one that has no moral values". (True story) and that was how a lot of ppl in this community felt. The Dr left his wife and also left town, leaving the OW behind to face the music.

Dad......OW is not worth it.
Mom......Please hang in there, Dad's worth it.

Love to you both
mtheart.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by whiteknight:
<strong> ummmmmm ..... who wrote this post? MT3B or D23B? I am confused. The post came from D23B. M23B, did you knock H on the head and jump on his computer?


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Yea, I thought I was in the minority too! H would always tell me about so and so cheating with Nurse D...or cute nurse D is flirting with him. I have always LOVED my H hands. He has the nicest hands...One day he told me that Nurse D said the same thing.

I woke up with a BAD feeling today. he was dressed for work! I thought we were going to spend the day together...But he made the changes without telling me. I asked him if he was going to RR nursing home and he said this afternoon. He would do the other ones first. I asked him if he WANTED to go while she was there and he said "ummm, yes, but the lawsuit thing bothers me"...I said "but not the marriage...a lawsuit is more important than the marriage"..he jsut turned the other way and didn't want to talke about about it. TYPICAL right now.

He then came in the kitchen where I was and was a bit more receptive to me. I gave him another scenerio of OW living in this house and me out of the picture. Taking care of 3 ADHD boys, one with ODD and who is very disruptive. While I am spending the last year or so with my dad. I would give up sole custody for the boys to be with their father. He said OW would do it...but then he would be turning the tables...hmmm, BS can do this, why cant you...hmmm, what do you mean you cant take care of the kids alone, BS does it...takes them to practices, cooks dinner...you cant do 8 loads of laundry a day...why not my W could. I always had clean undies...why cant you handle them alone for 2 nights a week....why is DS8's HW not done. Wife always made sure it was done. OH, you missed the DR's appt. why aren't my meds filled...and what about DS's meds. Get with it..Wife could do all this....

Yup, that is what would happen.

OK, must go get DS's to school now...H is on phone with SH now...hopefully giving good advice. I told him he needs it today. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"></strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL, whiteknight...that was me...MOM..I do this often, post under his name. This is really my computer, but when he uses it at home I forget to log off. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Sorry about the confusion!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ChristyV:
<strong> Wouldn't it be funny if you called the H's of all those other nurses at the Nursing Home and told them that their wives not only know about a blatant case of adultery in the workplace, but they also support and enable it? Wouldn't it be funny to make them worry about the safety of their own marriages in that kind of environment?

I know, I know..this is a total waste of time. And energy. And would be of absolutely no value to Mom and her situation. BUT I CAN DREAM, CAN'T I?????

But it is the activist mind in me, wanting to impact the world, make a change. I HATE ADULTERY. Always have. I wish I could open people's eyes to the evil, cruel, damaging effects of A's.

Or maybe it is the "spiteful, vindictive, mean and selfish streak" in me (as said by my loving and thoughtful--do you sense the sarcasm here-- WH!!!!) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, i think you and I think alike Christy, cuz I dont think that would be such a bad idea <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

As I read your posts I can so relate...my WS's OW is also an LPN at a nursing home...and guess who she hangs out in the bars with...her fellow coworkers at this nursing home...as I read with disgust that they are enabling this A to continue with your WS ...I suspect the same thing is happening with my WS... whatever happened to morals and integrity...these people deal with patients hurting every day...why can't they realize the pain a WS's family faces on a daily basis is much greater...shame on them for enabling this situation....

I had a nice chat with SH this morning. he makes everything sound so good. I basically told him that I was getting fed up with doing all the giving and getting NOTHING in return. He put it to me like this...

H and I are both in an exercise program...we both want to get into shape...But I'm the one doing all the exercising...and I am getting myself AND H in shape...well, first he said I'm getting H in shape, then I come later. so basically I am doing all the exercise to get H into shape, while I am doing getting into shape at all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Make sense <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Actually, yes, I did like that analogy.

I also asked SH WHY is he soooo certain that this will work for us. He said he could hear it in our voices and just by what we are saying. I asked him what he thought of H, whether he thinks he REALLY wants this to work and if SH thinks H WILL fall back in love with me. A SH classic...ABSOLUTELY! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> he said we haven't given him any reason to believe othrewise. He can see H's changing and he is TYRING to come out of Fantasyland...He is a lot further along than he was two weeks ago.

I also went to the Gym and met with my new personal Trainer. OK, lets just say that I am glad I am doing this AFTER H moved back home <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Take that as you wish <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Trainer worked me hard though <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I dont have to see him until Monday again! Thank Goodness! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Then I met H for a nice lunch. When I started to walk back to my car he said "wait" and started walking up to me...he then kissed me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Supposedly tomorrow OW is off from Nursing home. H called up there today to make sure she was off and they said YES. oh yes, I also told SH about the situation at nursing home and he was flabbergasted.

WOW! that kiss thing was wonderful to hear. of course i'm dreaming of the day my H just talks to SH. Haven't approached the subject yet but will probably in the next day or so. Keep up all the good work (inside and out). i'm kind of having a hard time keeping up w/all the posts from you and your H <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> prayers to you.