Good Luck Tinman! My prayers are with you! Make sure you post your letter here for others to see it too!

Thanks for the support ML, believer, Christy, and mom, I'm going to need all I can get. I'm going to take this time that I have and really find that person I used to be and the one my W fell in love with. Since I am going to have so much time on my hands I guess I can start working out again and doing the things I enjoy to do. I will post the letter here after I get the critique by Jennifer.

you know i will be praying for you too. i really feel for you being in the place you're in and having to go to plan B. yes, i hope i will never have to do that but i'm not unrealistic to think i will have to at some time down this rough road. i know we (and others) are doing a lot of questioning ourselves and what we are doing because we all want to do what is necessary to bring our WS back and work on the M.

i've almost stopped listening to the "radio" i just can't bear to think of what the words say even if it's alternative rock. so i've started listening to gospel music, NPR, and Christian radio stations and you know what? i think it has helped me not to get so caught up in my feelings. I'm also trying to plan each day (no more than a couple days at a time) with doing things that will keep me busy. of course i'm not always successful but we're a working progress.

good luck w/the letter and extra prayers to you. when will you be talking to Jennifer again?

Jennifer told me to give her a call in a month to see how I'm doing. So that's when I'll call her again.

Tinman, add my prayers in with the others. You are the man your W fell in love with. I don't know your story, so I don't know what contributed to the A. But that was her choice. You are one heck of a man. You are here, working your butt off to save your M. Wouldn't all of us BWs love to have a man like you right now. And don't you forget it.

If you've lost yourself through this, hopefully you can find it because you won't be all twisted up inside. Then, hopefully your W will realize what she is giving up. Hang in there! CV

she told you a month huh? that seems kind of long to me. what about any IC for you?

RR I'm not going to do IC for now I'll make that decision later on down the road. Jennifer did say that I needed to start to get a plan together for recovery. She told me that if it comes to that I should tell my wife these steps aren't rules but gifts that we will give eachother for a loving happy M.

okay, fair enough. how's the no-smoking thing going? if it's not going well don't worry too much about it (IMO). these are lifestyle and life long changes we are making for ourselves. i've lost almost 32lbs since the beginning of feb (most of it since i found out about the A), but anyway, i still slip, i didn't do my crunches last night (even though i was in the gym for 2 hours) and i'm eating some chips right now, i know that i'm still on my way (so to speak). i'm not going to stop until i reach my IBW. you're not going to stop until you've quit smoking but sometimes doing those little things even if they are not "good" for us helps us in small ways.

just take one day at a time and keep coming here. i don't know how to ask or say it but do you have a faith or church that you believe or go to? prayers to you.

I don't go to church, but I do believe in the Big Guy upstairs so I leave it in his hands. I do pray everynight though and I have for most of my life. Yeah I broke down with the smoking last night. I think I will be better when I deliver the letter and then I kind of don't have to worry anymore.

CV thank you for you post it made me feel better. I need a little peptalk now and then. Thanks again

<small>[ April 07, 2004, 11:14 AM: Message edited by: The Tinman ]</small>