Tinman,

I need a handyman. I got some windows that need washing (afraid of heights) and some painting to be done. I even have a little electrical work to be done if you want to volunteer.

I know what you mean about the heart and soul thing. I truly didn't have it in me in the beginning either. I thought everywhere I went a big black cloud followed me for some reason. You know how everyone started talking about suicide and stuff on the board. It all really freaked me out big time. I never planned it out, or really thought about it. But I did say to myself in the beginning of Plan B that death seemed like a better choice than this pain. Of course I am stil here and I love life. I have two children and I could not leave them alone as their fathers have done. It just goes to show you how much the pain can actually hurt at times though. It amazes me the the WS doesn't feel that also. You don't hear about the WS being in so much pain they consider things like that. You hear about how they are in so much pleasure they can walk away from everything, but never the pain they are in.

I am glad you are doing super. We are here for you. Feel free to smoke, vent, scream, holler, whatever it takes to get on with your life. Just don't drink. I found it makes life more depressing. I really stay away from all alcohol now. I never knew what a depressant it was until I tried drowning my sorrows once. I almost drove myself to the hospital I cried so much, and I was alone. So whatever you do stay sober. Chins up, smell the fresh air. Enjoy things you don't enjoy everyday. Go outside smell the air, listen to the birds, go watch a waterfall, life is wonderful in itself, even alone. Someday we will have someone to enjoy these things with, but better to enjoy them alone then to never stop and enjoy them at all. I just ate a whole bag of M&Ms to myself, no kids. That is truly one of lifes small pleasures chocolate.

NY

mtheart thanks for being here and your nice post. I'll be ok no matter what happens that's my outlook now.

Hopeful yeah I'm such a worthless person in my W eyes even though I did help around the house and I'd always do the dishes, she don't like dishes. Damn it I am a good man. I need to keep all these sayings I come up with in my head so I know that I'm doing the right thing. As for the drinking I still do but not excessive I couldn't do that I think about her a lot when I do that, so maybe one or two beers is about it. There's a game on tonight so that will keep me occupied for at least 3 hours. I have thoughts that come in like, I wonder if my W thinks about me at all you know stupid stuff like that. I talked to my SIL last night, she said my W called her early in the morning but she didn't answer the phone so she is going to call my W today. I bet it's about her being the intermediate person, and my wife is going to say that SIL is taking my side. I can hear the fog now, or maybe it's about the mail pick up.

Chris Ca keeps popping in and out of threads like the masked maruader when you least expect it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Chris I see you have multiple posts under your belt...was wondering if you could point me to your thread and your story...you help so many folks here on the board...it is much appreciated... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ April 15, 2004, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

Tinman,

I can answer that question for you. I asked WH last night if he ever thought about me. I had posted and posted on that, wondered and wondered. JustJ and ARK kept saying quit worrying about him and work on you. Well I finally got real sick of wondering and I asked. Mind you there is no person deeper in the fog than my WH. He has left a 100,000 house, two dogs, two kids, a wife, and a cat for a very heavy set, nasty low life. That is fog right there buddy. When I asked him he said yes he thinks about me. I said how often? Once a week, twice a week, once a month? He said about twice a week I think about coming home and seeing if we can work it out somehow. Then he so kindly included, but not everyday. So there is your answer, yes they do think about us. But, until they think about us so much that it becomes everyday they won't call to come home and reconcile. This is my theory on it. You just keep working on you. You are a great and honest man. Keep doing them dishes, women love that stuff! Even if your W doesn't come home, someone will appreciate that part of you.

NY

Thanks for the grounding Hopeful I know that she thinks about me, like I said stupid things pop in your head every so often. Oh and by the way I'm not that great with heights so windows up high aren't my thing I just have a nice house where I can do all the windows from the inside no ladder work. Well lunch is over time to go back to work I'll check here periodically.

Tinman,

Don't work too hard. Take breaks and your damn right she thinks about you and she always will! Just as my WH thinks about me and always will. Someday he will wish he was here again with me, if I am still here then so be it, if not then his loss. My windows wash from the inside also except two of them. Have a nice day!

NY

Hopeful your making me laugh today like I said I'll look in at times to day to help people stay in Plan B.

You guys and your window washing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> still not warm enough here in the Great white north to start that ...thank God...just the thoughts of starting that task makes me shutter...will be a week long adventure...have a cliffside home with 9 sets of triple doors opening cliffside <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ April 15, 2004, 01:33 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

TM i replied to your reply to me (make sense) about where i'm at <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

TM,

How is that window washing coming? You must have more ambition than I do. Do they bottle that stuff? Oh I have two kids so I don't have any left to wash windows, I almost forgot <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> .....LOL. I can't believe your W threw you away like garbage and you even wash windows. Gees, she is definitely going to look back on that and puke someday! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey Hopeful go read Hope4future's thread the title is Happy something or other look at my post in there I saw what hope wrote and said wow I had an epifiny(SP).

HINY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (Get it? HopefulinNY,

Your signature line says, "Plan B since 3/5/04"

And you wrote;
I asked WH last night if he ever thought about me.
Why would you ask this type of question (let alone any question) when you are in Plan B?

Mind you there is no person deeper in the fog than my WH.
Except maybe my ex.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">HINY (Get it? HopefulinNY,
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I got it...thanks for the making me laugh today.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Chris -CA123:


Mind you there is no person deeper in the fog than my WH.
Except maybe my ex. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'll give my WW 3:1 odds on being close. Maybe not deeper, but close. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'm sure most BS's feel the same.

Thanks for the moment of levity...........

Chris,
I'm patiently awaiting your "stamp of approval" on my PBL. Thanks for the input.

I'll give my WW 3:1 odds on being close.
Okay, I'll take that bet.

Married 19 years (met in 10th grade. married 8 months after graduation).
Wife met wankstain at 18.5 years. Left with him 3 months later.
Oh, I almost forgot. She took 1.5 suitcases and $1000.
Left our 8 & 13 year old daughters, the house and everything.
She has only seen our daughters 3 times in the last 5 years. She has only seen her family 2 times in the last 5 years.
She calls the girls maybe 4 times a year.
We have been divorced now for 2+ years. I received everything.
And she doesn't even know we are divorced. (I filed in the newpaper)

I'm patiently awaiting your "stamp of approval" on my PBL
I'll have a gander...

<small>[ April 15, 2004, 04:28 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Ummm...OK at this point, I'll take a distant second place. WW has mentioned joining the military during all of this. Does that count for anything?

Hmmm? We joined the military prior to getting married. She stayed in 4 and I retired in 2000.
After she split, she told her sister one reason was, "we moved too much". (5 times in 19 years is a lot?)
Now she moves every 2 weeks to 2 months (construction with wankstain)

Chris,
I think you do win the prize. I think my WW is gaining steam, but I just don't know if she's got the dedication and drive to see insanity all the way through to the end...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


Could you take a look at my PBL, and make sure that it's up to snuff?

Thanks,
Ethan

Well hello everyone,

I see you have all been having a party without me here.

Chris you are just such a great person to have around. You keep everyone leveled. I think it is wonderful having you here popping in to say hey get your head out of your [censored] and see the light. Well I was in the Plan B. I had the whole house thing with the railings and that took a week, no school the same week, and he wouldn't pay for anyone else to do it. So he came and did it. It was awkward at first, but it is done. When he came last night we started out discussing DD and her feelings because she is feeling sad and left out and I felt he needed to at least talk to her and make her feel better. This conversation led into another, which I know was not good. We ended up talking about our R and he said he thinks about coming home about twice a week and bla bla bla. Fog talk. He left, we dont have any reason in the entire world that I can think of to ever see each other again (unless someone dies of course) or if he does the NC and goes to therapy for himself. So there that is in a nutshell. I am right back to Plan B. This whole week has been a week of pain that I can not have in my life I know that and I am with the program now.

Thanks Chris.

Tinman you are the best, you really make me laugh sometimes.

NO, I am glad you have found humor in our thread for what else is there to do these days but enjoy life and laugh right?

HINY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WOW Chris...that is quite a story <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ...thanks for sharing it..understand now where your wealth of knowledge comes from