Oh and by the way, there really is no person deeper in the fog than my WH. If you only knew....Chris he is kind of like your ex. He left everything, beautiful kids, beautiful home, beautiful, loving, caring, sexy wife for very fat, heavy, nasty woman who lives in apt on main st. Imagine that now will ya? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> :eek

HINY

HINY oh that makes me laugh. Wow that's wierd my W is in the same situation she lives with him in the getto of our town. I call it moving from the penthouse to the outhouse syndrome. He's not a winner either and she will realize this one day. Hopefully she will know this before it's too late. It's funny isn't it it's like we're all living parallel lives. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> HINY oh that makes me laugh. Wow that's wierd my W is in the same situation she lives with him in the getto of our town. I call it moving from the penthouse to the outhouse syndrome. He's not a winner either and she will realize this one day. Hopefully she will know this before it's too late. It's funny isn't it it's like we're all living parallel lives </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why is it WS's always move down the scale and not Up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> my councellor told me in the many years she has practiced that she has never seen that happen...WS"s settle for much less than they had... I suspect it is a matter of self esteem and if it is low at the time settle for the first person that looks their way...Tinman and HINY...I had one encounter with OW and when I saw her and her surroundings I was on cloud 9...she looked the life she leads and after seeing her and her home stated to a friend after WS and I had first tried to reconcile that I should have fumigated him before I let him back in the house...OW's home was dispicable..as you aptly stated Tinman ...how can they go from a clean, stable environment to this <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Foghorn

When I first saw OW I said to H "Did you have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot"

Crude....I know, LB....You betcha.

He!! she was huge,and her house <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> both were disgusting.

We have a beautiful home which I keep spotless and I weigh 126 pounds, I dunno what he was thinkin' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

ha, ha, ha I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. You guys are great. Thanks.

mt,

I asked my husband the same exact thing and I live in the US. It really struck me funny to hear you say that too. I said to him "well if you want to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot your whole life have at it" he said "oh she isn't that bad". The he!! she isn't. I also asked him if he needed a ladder to climb on and a bag to get off!

Of course they were all LB's. It was before MB and I didn't know what else to say, I was speechless and stunned to the inner core of my body.

Tinman,

You honestly have the best sense of humor I have ever seen. WOOOOOOOOOT!

HINY

To be honest HINY I do have a great sense of humor, I could make my W laugh so easy and it was one of my favorite things to do. She has this laugh it like starts from her toes and works it's way up. It's one of the things I miss the most.

I have you all beat. My WH went from smart, established, successful wife (with brown hair, blue eyes, big boobs, smart, well liked, funny, supportive of all his antics...like 4 job changes in the last 5 years... the whole package), nice house, 2 really cute, really sweet, really smart, and really funny kids (my son will be probably be a preacher or a comedian someday, or maybe a preaching comedian), dog, nice cars, active in our church, in beautiful, sunny, lovely Tampa, Florida (YEAH BUCS) to an ugly, poor, I mean, really, really poor, Hindu woman, who is not attractive, with little, itty bitty mosquito bite boobies, in the armpit of the world, Mumbai, India, where they literally have heaps of trash and garbage on their nicest streets, etc.

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING?????

Oh well, WH, you made your bed...uh no, cardboard, dirty rug, n a little roach filled apartment where 6 people live, so go lie in it.

<small>[ April 15, 2004, 08:28 PM: Message edited by: ChristyV ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Great Post Christy V <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> we are much the same scenario as you with the great homes, cars and all the bells and whistles...my home is immaculate and I take great pride in my appearance...since WS has been hanging out with OW he looks like a bum off the street and his language now is F this and F that...she does not own a car...takes taxis everywhere...what a needy person and no doubt a user...I heard at Christmas time she whined and complained to her fellow workers she had no money to buy her kids gifts for Christmas so they felt sorry for her and took up a collection....now personally I would scrounge and do without one way or another to find the money before I took this route... and the worst part of this story WS bought these kids gifts for Christmas so this OW is definitely a user and has been playing this game for quite some time <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I asked him once how he could ever consider living in her environment and his reply was "Well she has gotton a little better"...referring to her nasty home.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ..the first time I drove by the place I was appalled... the lawn was a foot high...when I asked WS why at least the lawn was not mowed his response was that her methadone exhusband had stolen her lawnmower <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ... as well junk all over the yard...windows wide open with ripped curtains flapping in the wind...and the inside ...well that was another matter <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ...I wanted to see this OW and her environment...when she told me to "Get the F... out of her house"... I knew right then what kind of a person she was...low life and crude...she is very hard looking and rough around the edges...I once told WS he was starting to look like what he was with...I just don't get it

Well WS is coming here at one...I am trying to get his mail organized and leave the "List" of to do's and then get out of Dodge...wish me luck <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Good Luck NO!

I got you beat though. OW my WH is with had her own baby shower because no one would throw her one! Okay now is that sad or what?

Tinman,

How we doing today? Still washing? Painting, vacuuming? Dishes? Gees if you didn't live so far away I'd hire you..........WOOOOOOOOT!

Christy,

You are definitely in the right plan. What was he thinking?

HINY

i wish the OW in my case was worse then me (weight, looks, surroundings, etc.) but unfortunately i feel she takes the cake in everything except her morals but everyone makes mistakes.i'm not justifying what she did only that ANYONE is vulenrable or susceptible to mistakes giving the right conditions. While her mistake was getting involved w/a MM, mine was not meeting my H's needs.

i try not to dwell on that too much because the only thing i can do is work on myself, pray for her, pray for my H, and take one day at a time. I can't control anyone else and it's a battle just to control myself sometimes (emotions/reactions that is) hope you are doing okay tinman, i think you need to change the title on this thread <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> or start a new one. prayers to you.

NO you hang in there and stick with us sounds like you have a plan for today let us know how it goes.

HINY I do have a regular job which is where I'm at now I won't start my projects till this weekend. All the window washing, garage cleaning, and lawn mowing. If I run out of projects then I will go to my friends house on Sunday and watch the race.

Christy I'm hired huh, lol I guess my W really doesn't know how good she had it. All you women want to put me to work if all my projects get done I will put a for hire post on here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

RR I took your suggestion and change the title. I did get some information from my SIL, I guess my W is pissed and says that I'm putting SIL in the middle of our situation. Sorry honey you only contact SIL for emergency's or money issue's, I guess she's also sending a letter to her mom about how they don't get along and never will and she's still mad that her family knows oh well you made your bed you lay in it.

<small>[ April 16, 2004, 10:21 AM: Message edited by: The Tinman ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">RR I'm hired huh, lol I guess my W really doesn't know how good she had it. All you women want to put me to work if all my projects get done I will put a for hire post on here.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds like a plan to me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> we may be needing ya on some of these how to do thingys at the house Tinman once we go dark with WS's...you can be our Tim the Toolman Tailor <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> well folks just about a half hour till WS arrives...I will wait until he arrives...show him his list and mail and vamooosh.. anything interesting to report after he has left I will let ya'all know....

NO

I wouldn't even wait. I would leave the list on the table and be gone. That is what I did before the whole week of railing work and no school. It seemed effective, as he missed us and being around us.

Tinman,
I get to hire you first now! It was my idea. You are going to have to be our toolman you know? Women aren't dumb by no means, but some of the manly stuff we have been shoved with might need a little talking through okay? I do not have a regular job outside the home. I have two full time jobs at home though. One is 3 and one is 11. Believe me I work very hard, sometimes harder than when I worked outside the home. All have a nice day. It is going to be 60 in NY today and the 70s Sat and Sun and 80 on Mon. Wow I had to check to see if I was in NY or FL.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
HINY

I'm going to agree with HINY here NO I wouldn't be there when your H shows up leave everything on the table for him to get. It would be like starting Plan B over if you saw your husband. Let us know how it goes we're here for support.

Wow!
HINY really stuck, didn't it?
(Baby got back?) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Chris your killing me stop it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well here's the latest...about ten to one phone rings...private name...private number...figure it is a girlfriend to discuss plans for tonight...WS comes on ...was in shock as I have not talked to him in person for awhile..just called to tell me he would be late coming so expect him in about 15 minutes...I just said yep ok...will update later...

hi everyone!

i'm going to jump in here since i have been in plan b for 9 days now and doing ok. (actually the first week was great but the last two days. . . )

i may take up a day for needing support but really not sure what day to pick. yesterday, everything got to me, but it was from hearing the feedback from our intermediary(sp). mc says i need a different interm.

i don't know if having a day set aside would really work though. how can we predict what will trigger us to break plan b? i thought i would share what helped me get through yesterday and maybe it will help someone else.

every time that i thought about calling my h, i made a list of why, what i would say, and how he would probably respond. as i kept working through different scenarios, i still came back to the fact that he hasn't changed yet, and if i call him (and break plan b) i haven't changed yet either. and i really want this change for me.

so, i don't know if this helps, but it has helped me to read through the posts on this thread and realize we are all in the same boat.

thanks all.