Great to see a new plan B support thread!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi eveyone I'm glad to see everyone had a good night. Christy I should have looked to see if you were on last night but I was watching Jerry Maguire. Renee Zellwegger is such a hottie, anyways I fell a sleep during the movie then went to bed and just woke up. Catching up on lost sleep I think. Going to watch the race today and grocery shopping, be the first time I've went grocery shopping in about 2 months. I'm Mr. One meal a day and that's lunch. I know not good but it's take out food and usually a salad or something like that, and my weight is steady hasn't dropped or gained. I'll check back here in a bit. Have a good day all.

Hi everyone..how's the day going?...a girlfriend and I went out last night...I taught her how to play pool...told her you don't need a man to have some fun ( I think that was Believer's quote) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ...we then popped into a little club where Karaoke was going on...since both my friend and I love to sing we had a blast...something our WS's would never consider doing with us..so you see...find some things you like to do and get out... we find the weekends the toughest but have managed to keep busy every night and here we are Sunday and have kept busy ....we had so much fun last night...

<small>[ April 18, 2004, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

Hi all. Like HINY said, you just have to make yourself do things. At first I did not want to do anything, and just sat around wallowing in my pain.

Then I decided to take care of myself. I started walking, cleaned the house spotless, detailed the car, redecorated the house, joined a women's support group, started my own business.

I also told neighbors, friends, people at work, everyone, that I was ready to go out and do things, anything.

morning everyone!!!

lostnhurt. don't know if there is anything more i can add to hiny's and believer's list. it has helped me to try and find things that take my mind off of r's entirely! i love to read but will definitely pass up the romance novels for now. and i love good r movies (sleepless in seattle is my fave) but its action and comedy for me (and cartoons!). i also have a child with me to keep my company, but that sometimes gets lonely, mostly since i don't have the time to get out w/friends alone either. so the computer is my best friend right now. if you need to talk i'm at tinal@chartermi.net

i don't know if it was a really good night. no - i guess it WAS since i DID NOT CALL H. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> it was tough not to at times. just needed some conversation with voices instead of this screen. one d was working last night, other d talked for about 5 minutes and said she was tired, and then i couldn't get in touch w/my two best friends, but at least i didn't call him. what helps is the fact that i am in a different time zone, (by the time i want to talk, he is probably asleep) and that i have to use a calling card and that's just way too many numbers to dial to talk!

i was reading somewhere on the boards here that as soon as you least expect it, the ws shows back up. (not sure if i quoted that right, it was late last night) but that is one of my fears. it has always been like a last minute thing that h will show up just about the time i am done for good. i did walk out on him late last year. i was just fed up w/all the chaos in our lives. it wasn't really a plan b, at the time i really was done. i went back though, partly since i was ready to make my stand and take the house in a div. h talked a good line all day. didn't really promise he would work on the r, but that he would 'consider' it. that was 3.5 months ago, and i am doing the plan b now. (letter and nc) but i am 99% sure that as soon as i say i am done and file, h will show up. i am just rambling on and on here. i did get most of my stuff done yesterday, other than the shopping and vaccuuming. so, that's what i need to do today.

take care.

My h just called me. I answered it because I thought it was the kids calling me (it is his weekend). It was him and I hung up. So then he called back, left message (because I did not answer it) asking when I would like him to drop off the kids.

ARRRGGHH! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

We agreed last week (when we talked, much to my dismay and screwing up plan b), that he would have them overnight during his visits (in other words, get them off to the sitters/bus on Thursday am on the Wednesday visits, and on Monday am on the every other weekend visits). HE KNEW THIS.

So I text message him on his phone "pls take them to the bus/sitters 2morrow am"

Then he calls my mom, asks her the same, I tell her the same, and she tells him the same, and he says "We did not discuss this, but I guess it is ok"

argghhh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

He is such a ****ing liar. I am starting to hate this man. Tired of the games. tired of the lying. Tired of the way he makes me feel inside. Tired of the whole damn mess.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ April 18, 2004, 02:54 PM: Message edited by: ChristyV ]</small>

Miss Christy -

Hang in there girl. It is very common while in Plan B for WS to "forget" arrangements. He will try to lure you into talking to him. Don't fall for it. You are still early in Plan B. It does get better and better.

Well, at least this time I was smart enough not to take the call or call him back (at least my Mom served as some sort of buffer).

i just got a very hurtful email from my sil. (his side) is there anyone around to talk too? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

just tried to chat with you. I am sorry you are hurting.

very busy thread over the weekend i see. tinman, how's the no-smoking going? plans on keeping busy this week? thefurnitureman was supposed to have left his wife a PBL this weekend so i wonder how he's doing? keep up the good work, prayers to you.

hi everyone...quite a few developments in my story today...as I think I stated previously...we had an opportunity to rent out a property...I consulted WS on this and his response was that he was reluctant to do so as he was hopeful that we may be able to use property together at that time...then he wanted to wait to give these folks an answer at the end of May ...my concern was we would lose prospective renters and income if we waited...I emailed him asking what the significance was of the May deadline with no answers so broke Plan B to call him...again no answers and he was reluctant to talk as OW was there at the time...he stated he would try to complete task for tank removal sometime this week...I decided to call my lawyer to update...as things have been in limbo since a four way meeting where my lawyer told WS to either make a decision to put marriage back together and start councelling or start proceedings...she told WS to either Sh$$ or get off the pot...his lawyer stated they would get back to us on these issues...so we are still waiting to hear from Ws's lawyer...I informed my lawyer on the rental possibility and what had come down the pike...she stated WS had called his lawyer about a week ago stating that we had the opportunity to rent but I had not informed him of that and we had lost rental...my lawyer is flabbergasted that WS is now lying even to his lawyer...also in four way meeting a few weeks back Ws stated he was reluctant to repair marriage as there were problems in the marriage and proceeded to blame me for everything...I listened politely to what he had to say and dropped the bombshell..I stated that I admit there were problems but Ow was not the first...WS's lawyer just glared at him as I am sure he did not know this...My lawyer stated today that WS has now told lawyer that there were several other affairs previous to OW... so where does that leave me...and what do you do with a perpetual lying spouse and mutiple affairs?...My lawyer stated Ws's lawyer stated he is still very confused and does not know what he wants marriage or Divorce...also knows Ow is very needy and my lawyer stated that A looks like is waining but again I have to decide is WS worth all this waiting...so many decisions

<small>[ April 19, 2004, 11:58 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

I think you should stay in Plan B for awhile. It really lets you get your head clear about things, and also helps you get over the awful hurt.

NO sounds like you had a rough day. Hang in there don't let WS stupidity get to you. Sorry you had to kinda break your Plan B. Now you just roll back into it.

RR still smoking haven't found my happy place and still stressing so I'm still smoking. I did get alot accomplished this weekend. Mowed cleaned out the garage did laundry cleaned the house a little. Wasn't even tempted to call my wife except a couple of times and then I just called my brother to get me through that. I just got to work because I got called out last night from 12 in the morning to 4 in the morning I'm a tired puppy. Hope everyone else is having a great day.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> NO sounds like you had a rough day. Hang in there don't let WS stupidity get to you. Sorry you had to kinda break your Plan B. Now you just roll back into it.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks Tinman ...and Believer...Ws just emailed me ...again bypassed all the issue in regards to property but stated he would be up at 4 to work on tank...I will be long gone when he arrives...

NO

That is the way to do it. Stay in the Plan. I am back in action here. Plan B all the way. I feel so wonderful today. I am emtionally detaching myself again. I am going to meditate tonight and free myself of the stress I have left over, plus a smirnoff does help a little also. Good Luck!

HINY

Is anybody here in Plan B remotely close to the East Coast in USA? I mean I would love to get us all together and we could eat and swap war stories, have a few drinks, play some slots some place. Just have a fun weekend together all of us BS together. Let me know if anyone lives near the EC, I am willing to drive at little ways.

HINY

Not in plan B, never been in plan B so I'm busting in to y'all's group <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

If you're looking for a hobby that will fill up some time, try genealogy. If you get "bitten" by the genealogy bug, you'll find you never have enough free time on your hands. It's interesting, time-consuming, you make new genealogy friends who are researching the same lines - and I've NEVER had one of my genealogy buddies act in a way that is remotely inappropriate. I've never been asked my age, gender, or even my real name. Just "Hey, are you sure Jim Bob Jones married Mary Belle Smith? Do you have documentation you could share?" or "I have a family reunion pic that includes your g-g-grandfater and I know you'd love a copy... can you view .jpg files?"

Yeah, you want to fill up some time, that's a great way! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

okay tinman, i'll stop asking about the smoking thing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> i haven't been working out like i have been this past week but then again i'm not sitting at home crying and depressed either. i'm glad the families are being supportive in what you're doing. I didn't have a schedule like you did last night and i'm still tired. anyway, watch your boundaries, keep up the good work, and still learn what you can, prayers to you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Is anybody here in Plan B remotely close to the East Coast in USA? I mean I would love to get us all together and we could eat and swap war stories, have a few drinks, play some slots some place. Just have a fun weekend together all of us BS together. Let me know if anyone lives near the EC, I am willing to drive at little ways.

HINY
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi sweetie I live on the east coast of Canada so we are still a long way off but my friend's son is starting theatre school in Manhatten in June so we just may take a trip down your way to visit him...and she is in our situation so we could have lots to talk about..also somethime maybe this summer we could meet halfway somewhere maybe somewhere in NH...just a thought...and today when WS arrived I flew the coop so no busting Plan B today... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />