RR I think I'm going to clean the house this weekend because my parents are coming next weekend, so that's my plan. Besides that I have no clue as to what else I'm going to do but I'm sure I'll figure something out. Very busy at work today so that will keep my mind off of my W today. Then tonight the Wings play hockey so I'll watch that tonight. I have to call my niece today it's her Bday today, my W sister's child, I wonder if my W will call her niece and say happy birthday. I also wonder if she will talk to her sister at all. No the weather didn't bother me I'm north of where everything happened, so no worries. I keep thinking every night that this might be the night that my W comes home am I silly for holding on to that?

no of course not! you're not silly at all. you're just human and you love your W. glad your parents are coming to visit soon. what do they think of all the changes you've made (you're soul-searching)? BTW what do you do for work if you don't mind sharing.

I work for Comcast I am a Network Tech. right now I'm running LAN cables and getting ready for launch of Video On Demand. I love my job.

i don't know how similar it is or not but my H did satellite communications in the military. i had called him earlier today and left a message for him to call me back because i had some questions about the phone bills. i said i was going on (at the time i called) but would be back by 1300. so he calls me at 1247 and leaves me a VM on my cell phone. says hey "roughroad" we always used to say hey "hon." got your message blah blah blah, i don't have your work number memorized yet, blah blah, give me a call on your cell phone on your way home from work and i'll try to have mine on me, blah blah blah.

i feel a little frustrated. why is it so easy to say thanks "hon" or thank you sweetheart to a waitress but not to his own wife? and i am still his wife. of course, he has his cell phone on him at ALL times so the precious OW can get in contact w/him. am i ever going to get a chance to tell him how all these little things make me feel? no because we BS are supposed to be just so perfect during this time. you know he said one of the things he liked about me was my feistiness (sp?) and i certainly put that in over drive over the years to the point where my mom felt sorry for my H. and now that i've "changed" or learned what DJ and AO's are as well as other LB's and know i can't do those then is he really going to appreciate that someday? or is he just going to think that now im just completely a different person than who he married, again.

sorry for taking over the plan B thread, just kind of frustrated. i think i would be better if i could talk to SH more and certainly if my H talked to SH again but those things can't be helped right now. i'm going to call my MIL either tomorrow or some time this weekend and see what she thinks about me coming to visit. maybe that will make some sort of difference, who knows. maybe part of it is i just pigged out at lunch and haven't been working out like i have been so i'm feeling guilty. i guess just a bunch of emotions running amuck right now.

thanks for listening and i'm super glad you like your job, i think that is VERY important. prayers to you.

How is everyone today...well yesterday was big break in Plan B...Ws emailed me to convince me again to free up assets...I finally told him either straighten up your act or Divorce is pending ..his response I don't want a Divorce...I checked out two mid life crisis sites and he fits the bill to the tea...so there you have it...so here we are no sign of movement for him to straighten out and I will have to do something soon...this has been going on since July...just directed all anger to me again so back to the dark I go...I am having two granddaughters for an overnighter this weekend ...girls Pj party...

NO

If it is any help to you I have been going through this since July also. I just didn't realize it until Nov. I have also had many breaks in Plan B. It just seems like one thing after another and my intermediary, my mother, is getting sick of doing it. She doesn't understand why we can't talk amoungst ourselves now that I am feeling better. So the furnace man came today for inspection and he says we need a liner for our chimney. It is going to be like 800. to buy it and rent equipment to put it in, or we can pay 1500. for someone else to do it. So I stuck in Plan B and left a message on his cell phone because I knew he was at work and it would be off, well he calls me back exactly 25 minutes later and I was in the kitchen answered the phone and about fell over when it was him. He said he didn't know what I was talking about a liner and that he would call a local place that they had referred me to and get it done. He was nice and pleasant and like not even in the fog. It was kind of strange to tell you the truth.

We had a rough weekend also, I wasn't going to post on it because it just seems to be the same crap but a different day with him anymore. I called and left message to see if he wanted DS extra time on Fri. as I had to take DD shopping and he is only 3 he hates shopping. Well I never received a call back so I called his phone again and left message saying that not to bother it was getting late and I was taking DS with me. The next day MIL took DS for the night. I called to find out how DS was doing and she explained to me that WH had left for out of state for the weekend. I wasn't mad that he left because he can do whatever he wants, I was mad because he didn't have the respect to tell me he was leaving town at least for his sons sake. Anyway I wrote him a letter and said that I would appreciate a little more respect as far as our DS is concerned if you don't want him then leave message on my cell, if you are going out of town at least leave a message saying that you are and if something happens to DS to call my cell or my mother. So maybe I got through about the disrespect thing and that is why he returned my call so fast today. Anyway he isn't following Plan B at all. I am just starting to be in Plan X anymore like Just J and believer. I also went to a gun safety class last night and had a blast. I have two more classes until I am done. The instructor has a crush on me and I think he is going to ask me out, as I have heard so. Gees this is so hard. I might say yes! I have been doing this since July and my life is just wasting away anymore. Trying to be the lighthouse. Thanks for listening.

HINY

So difficult HINY when you have to contact them...I have been getting calls from a number and then when I answer they hang up...this has been going on for three days now...tried reverse look up but number not listed so thought it might be one of WS OW..so politely emailed him and told him about the calls and if he knew who it was to please contact them and ask them to stop calling he is his response..."It's likely people wanting me to pay bills..........which I can't do......so much for my credit......." am I supposed to feel sorry for him...what a jerk <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Say WHAT?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Hopeful,

Did I read that correctly or were you joking? I hope so.I am sure you know that accepting ANY attention from male counterparts right now is dangerous.Need I say more?

Also,I thought I read a way back about an East Coast gathering of some sorts? Count me in if there is one.I am near the border of MA/VT/NY.

O <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

O

I know, it is just so hard. I am getting ready to blow out the light in the lighthouse anyday now. This guy is really, really nice and funny. He is total opposite of my WH. He is ret from the Army. A CPT and a Dr. flight surgeon. He was making us laugh so hard last night at the meeting and he showed me so much attention that I haven't had in so long. I am seriously considering the divorce thing. I love WH so much, but I am just sick to death of this all. And I am lonely and well just sick of it. I know it is dangerous, very dangerous. Maybe I should start posting on the divorcing board now. I dont' think I can do this anymore. I am 35 and I want to have a life again. I have done so much work on myself. In 6 months I have done a complete 180 and now I am really starting to think I am better off without him in the long run. He is very depressed and I think he was holding me down from enjoying life and getting out and doing things. I am really enjoying life again. He told me to move on and not to feel bad about it, maybe he is right. I never know how I am going to feel from one day to the next anymore. This ride sucks!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
HINY

I hear ya HINY..I just asked to have Ws and my pic added to MB Photo Album...you can see that WS looks alot older than I..I suspect it was Low Self esteem that made him take up with the first thing that looked at him and on top of all that he constantly tries to make me feel guilty for his A...WHOOOA here...I have gone out a few times with girlfriends and believe you me I have attracted attention but have shunned it so far but the clock it a tickin here...the lonlieness is the killer here...someone to share your day...someone to give you a hug...someone to wake up to in the morning...that is the toughest...so I understand exactly where you are coming from hon...

I know it's hard for us all to just sit and wait in our little plan B's.But getting involved before you D is a no no.You have to have emotional closure on one relationship in order to safely and securely venture into another.You know that.You owe it to yourslef and any other man that comes your way.

Believe me,I understand.Of all this time I have had to better myself and grow and change,I too have felt tied down to a selfish workaholic who did nothing but take the whole time we were married.Yes he was a good father and was also a good husband during the best of times but I think how much I have given away of myself for what I thought was our common goals and dreams,only now to be handed this disgusting adultery.I keep thinking,I really should have married that doctor(old friend from hospital I worked at)! lol.

I am close too hopeful.I just sent my WH(at his place of work) the papers to start filling out for either a Legal Separation or a D.I can't wait to see how he'll react to this one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> He knows I have had them for a few days and he looks at them and cries from time to time but...whatever.The scales are tipped in favor of me finding happiness again and NOT with the lying,cheating,sneaky,celf centered workaholic I am currently married to.

If he thinks the homewrecker can do a better job and wait around for him to come home from work each night,etc,etc,then so be it but I'll be da**** if that trash is going to EVER be around my girls if I have to spend thousands of dollars in court to fight it.Who knows....UGH.


O

O

I hear you there! I had the courts keep OW away from my DS for six months. I am going to try to extend it in Sept when it is up. Gosh I am really not looking forward to that day.

I know I'm not supposed to date. I really do. But I really think I am going to invite him to come to this dinner with me on Sat. I heard this guy drinks a lot, so it would never be serious. But he is really funny, and I think we would have a good time and raise a few eye brows in the mean time. I'm still not sure what I am doing yet. I know that D is sounding better as the days go by. The sound of WH voice just doesn't even sound good to me anymore.

HINY

Ugh.Well,I can't force you to stay home but then think about this: are you showing your daughter the right way to handle your situation? Would she approve when she comes to you,several years from now and wonders why YOU spent time with another man or men while still married? Raise a few eyebrows means....? Are you hoping that others will get an idea about you? What idea? That you are cheating too or leading to that?

Can you in good conscience live with this outing knowing you are STILL married? Are you falling into the same trap that this is innocent fun? And you state you don't even know what you are doing anymore?

The fog is on the horizon.Be careful about your actions.Feelings may follow.

O

Okay O

I got it. I will go with my sister and her boyfriend alone. I know I know, it is so hard
and I have all these feelings. I started to think about how much it would hurt this new guy also. I have not seen him, only in a class room setting where there were big guns involved and lots of other people. But it was fun and it is hard not to get caught up in it all. Esp when you feel like a clump of dog doo because the OW is butt ugly and he still left for her. You know? Well I will fly my plane solo Sat. I am sure I will have much more respect for myself that way also. Thanks.

HINY

<small>[ April 22, 2004, 10:34 PM: Message edited by: Binder ]</small>

Yikes. I am right with you all. I have been going through this for over a year. I am old, but not dead yet. I did hook up with an ex-lover in November, but I still felt like I was married, so declined his advances.

Then I was looking at a neighbor, but couldn't go there. Then there was a homeless guy that looked pretty good to me. So I don't know how we can all get through the temptations. Sooner or later, life goes on.

After Two months you guys will feel the difference. Just make sure it is a strict plan B.

I really think i have reached a turning point in my life. I don't feel the urge of wanting him anymore. The desperation is no longer there. I am in control with my feeling. I feel greatttt!

Just hang on there all you plan B member...two months of a good plan B and i guarantee you...you will feel much much better!!!

The past few days i have also text message my WS more than i should have. Mostly cheerful stuff and i think he is getting the message that i am happy nowdays and moving onnnnn... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

BUT no matter how strong i feel...i also realise i have not reach the numb stage yet. He could still make me upset. Yesterday he came to my office for a business meeting. I did not know that he was attending the meeting until later. I was in the main office area and i am very sure he would have notice me because my back was facing the meeting room when he walk out of it. He could have come over and said hi but not a squeek from him!!! At least one of his colleague had the courtesy to come over and say hi to ME!!!! THAT made me a bit upset.

Anyway that is the latest story from me.

Good girl hopeful.

I just don't want you to be hurt anymore than you have been.I really understand that you would like to spend some time with another engaging man.You deserve it, but not yet.Make sure it is the right time for both of you first.

O <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Binder:

Paste your post into a new thread so it can get the time and attention it deserves (if you haven't already). We don't want you to get lost in our Plan B lunacy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Nice to hear from you ziz.

Glad you are feeling stronger these days.Hang in there,you're doin fine. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

O