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Christy haven't heard from you today just wondering how you are doing?

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Having a ****ty day. Check out my son post.

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hope everyone had a "better" night and hope today will be "better" as well. even though i'm not in plan B i still feel okay posting here. want you guys to know i'm praying and thinking about you as you are me.

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Well hi everyone...need advice on today's turn of events...I am milling this all over in my head and need advice from folks with level head and logical thinking...WS had to come to the house to fill out a form for underground tank and take a picture of a new tank installation...we sat and talked..he is now telling me he knows that relationship with OW is not going to work...he and she are just two different individuals...he misses me and his family and wants to come back but wants some more time to let OW see from his vibes that their relationship is not going to work...he stated she sees daily that is not happy with her and instead of just saying I am out of here wants her to see that things will never work out...he feels this will be less painful for her...he also stated he did not want people to think he was only coming back because of the finances...he wants to try to make this new business successful so that we can start again with some success in our lives once again...does this make sense to anyone or is this still just fog talk...he is stubborn and states he needs to do this his way to be able to return for all the right reasons...he wants until the end of May for this to happen...ok folks give me your take on all of this...I am listening..

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 11:22 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

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Please help with this..all veteran's need advice here..

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NO your in Plan B right? So why are you talking to your H, no contact until the relationship with the OW is over means no contact. He wants to let the OW down easy what crap if your not happy with the OW what's so hard about leaving her, he left you didn't he? He's wanting to have his cake and eat it too. No more talking to him NO, he needs to meet the requirments that you gave him in your PBL before even talking to you. Has he done this?

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NO,

I am no expert, but here is my 2cents. Your WH is still not protecting you. He is concerned about letting OW down easy and not hurting her. What about you? Has he considered what another month of this would do to you? He needs to put you first and protect you. Until he does that, he is still in the fog. But this is why there is not supposed to be any relationship talk during Plan B. This conversation was harmful to you and set you back. You should not talk to him on a personal level again until he ends things with OW. Sorry for the 2x4. Hopefully this is a good sign...maybe the fog is lifting a bit. Stay strong in your Plan B. Best of luck!

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Hi folks and thanks for the responses...and you are correct ...I have been through this too many times to fall for this <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> but do feel just maybe the fog is starting to lift a bit...I guess I just wait it out and see what happens..it seems with the Plan B I have tried to implement that he is now seeing what his life would be like with her and without me... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I hope this is a good sign but will stay strong and not have contact...thanks guys...knew I could count on you for logic and reason <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 12:56 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

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NO....

Well, you know what he's up to at this point. The Plan B was just beginning to work. He was starting to miss you, starting to see that this A would not meet his needs, that the OW is no cinderella, and that he should be home. BUT..not seeing it clearly enough to get the hell out of there, end it with her and come home. So he needed a fix, and YOU GAVE IT TO HIM!!!!!!!

That is the beauty of Plan B...he CAN do it his way, but you are no longer hurting while he makes the choices he is going to make....good or bad. Because you are in control, making the choices you need to make. Basically, he was close to getting desperate enough to actually do something (if his words are accurate, which chances are they were not, don't forget that our WS's lie). THAT IS WHY DARK DARK DARK UNTIL THEY BREAK IT OFF!!!!!

I can give great advice on this because I have blown it so many times!

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Me too, Christy. I've had a hard time in Plan B as far as NC. I don't contact him, but he contacts me.

The best thing is stay dark until they have NC with OP. Otherwise they just like to drag it on and on and on.

And like everyone says "What about NewOutlook's feelings?" Let's be sure to care how the OW is feeling, but not the BS. Yeah, right.

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Hi everyone...and thanks for the 2 x 4's...Ws is now saying by email...that he wants two weeks to get rid of OW...I have made it plain that is time for New Outlook to look after New Outlook and this is just not about them...just supposing he is sincere this time...(the affair has been going on for almost two years now and supect WS sees what he is missing)..isn't there stats somewhere where it takes about that amount of time for affair to run it's course?...any way I have decided that WS will not be coming home until he can prove to me that he is telling me the truth and follow all the guidelines like...NC letter etc...I am not going to jump on this rollercoaster again until I have firm proof that WS is sincere in all of this ...in the meantime I will remain dark...he has to show me by his actions that he is sincere and will not be let into my life again until he proves himself...any other thoughts folks?

<small>[ April 28, 2004, 09:36 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

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no sure if i have a lot of "thoughts" that would help but i admire your tenacity and hope i will be able to do the same. BTW just noticed in your signature line that your anniv is 1/19 well that just happens to be my B-day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> stay the course and prayers to you.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> BTW just noticed in your signature line that your anniv is 1/19 well that just happens to be my B-day </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">RR well it seems we have much more in common than what we are going through...Jan 19 is not only my anniversary but my birthday as well sweetie...as far as tenacity WS knows he is at the end of the line with me...if OW wants to keep going back and forth that is her problem...this is it for me ..either he straightens up and flies right or game over...I really think you have to give them the 2 x 4 and stick to your guns or else you will be in the same spot this time next year...as long as WS thinks you will wait he will keep on playing the game...he knows I am serious now and the ball is in his court...either way I am at the place where I am ready...I have left this in God's hands all along and that is where I will be either way...

<small>[ April 28, 2004, 10:46 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

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19 Jan is my birthday also... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

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Well how cool is that everyone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> whole lot of Capricorn's here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> wonder what that says about us...WS is also a Capricorn which means we are both strong determined individuals...hmmmmmmm

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Capricorn's ..Sign of the Goat..hmmm maybe that is why WS and I are always butting heads <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Capricorn! About Your Sign...
Capricorn is one of the most stable and (mostly) serious of the zodiacal types. These independent, rocklike characters have many sterling qualities. They are normally confident, strong willed and calm. These hardworking, unemotional, shrewd, practical, responsible, persevering, and cautious to the extreme persons, are capable of persisting for as long as is necessary to accomplish a goal they have set for themselves. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep that's me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> [QUOTE] They are reliable workers in almost any profession they undertake. They are the major finishers of most projects started by the 'pioneering' signs; with firm stick-to-it-ness they quickly become the backbone of any company they work for. [QUOTE]Yep that's WS) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Capricornians make of themselves, resourceful, determined managers; setting high standards for themselves and others. They strive always for honesty in their criticism of self, they respect discipline from above and demand it from those beneath them. In their methodical, tough, stubborn, unyielding way, they persist against personal hardship, putting their families and/or their work before their own needs and welfare to reach their objectives long after others have given up and fallen by the wayside. In fact when practical ability allied with the drive of ambition are required in employees to make a project succeed, Capricornians are the people to hire. They plan carefully to fulfill their ambitions (which often include becoming wealthy), they are economical without meanness, and able to achieve great results with minimum effort and expense. Because of their organizing ability they are able to work on several projects simultaneously.

They have a great respect for authority but may not, if they reach high rank, be willing to listen to other opinions on things they are directly responsible for. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wow have they got this right on WS) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As the ranking authority figure in a given situation they expect their underlings to be as self disciplined as they themselves are, and to perform every task undertaken to the highest standard. They are, nevertheless, fair as well as demanding. Among their equals they are not always the most pleasant of work fellows for they are reserved and too conservative, valuing tradition more than innovation, however valuable the latter, and they are often humorless. There is also a tendency to pessimism, melancholy and even unhappiness which many Capricornians are unable to keep to themselves, especially if they fail personally. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wow, does this say it all about WS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In the extreme this trait can make them a very depressed individual; ecstatic happiness alternating with the most wretched kind of misery which is so subconsciously buried that he or she should seek help if such emotions become frequent. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Ohhh so true! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For the above reason, capable Capricorn should spend many hours in meditation, gathering the strength to control such inner emotions.

The swings in mood are not the only reason some Capricornians deserve the adjective based on their name - capricious. They can be surprisingly and suddenly witty and subtle for the quiet, reserved individuals they seem to be, and they also have a tendency to ruin things by unexpected and utterly irresponsible bouts of flippancy. In certain individuals in whom the characteristic is strong, the temptation to do this has to be resisted with iron self-control. Another unexpected quality in some Capricornians is an interest in the occult which persists in spite of their naturally skeptical turn of mind.

Their intellects are sometimes very subtle. They think profoundly and deeply, throughly exploring all possibilities before deciding on a 'safe' alternative. They have good memories and an insatiable yet methodical desire for knowledge. They are rational, logical and clearheaded, have good concentration, delight in debate in which they can show off their cleverness by luring their adversaries into traps and confounding them with logic.

In their personal relationships they are often ill-at-ease, if not downright unhappy. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> This is WS! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They are somewhat self-centered but not excessively so, wary and cautious around people they do not know very well, preferring not to meddle with others and in turn not to allow interference with themselves, thus they tend to attract people who do not understand them. Casual acquaintances they will treat with diplomacy, tact and, above all, reticence. They make few good friends but are intensely loyal to those they do make, and they can become bitter, and powerful enemies. They sometimes dislike the opposite sex and test the waters of affection gingerly before judging the temperature right for marriage. Once married, however, they are faithful, though inclined to jealousy. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, right! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Most Capricornians marry for life. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Let's hope this turns out to be accurate! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Their occupations can include most professions that have to do with math or money and they are strongly attracted to music. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WS and son play in a rock band! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They can be economists, financiers, bankers, speculators, contractors, managers and real estate brokers. They excel as bureaucrats, especially where projects demanding long-term planning and working are concerned, and their skill in debate and love of dialectic make them good politicians. They are excellent teachers, especially as principals of educational establishments where they have the authority to manage and organize without too much intimacy with the staff members. If working with their hands, they can become practical scientists, engineers, farmers and builders. The wit and flippancy which is characteristic of certain Capricornians may make some turn to entertainment as a career.

Possible Health Concerns...

Capricorn governs the knees, bones and skin, so its subjects may be liable to fractures and strains of the knees and other defects of the legs. Skin diseases from rashes and boils to leprosy (in countries where that disease is prevalent) are dangers, and digestive upsets may be caused by the tendency of Capricorns to worry or suppress emotions. Anemia, Bright's disease, catarrh, deafness, rheumatism and rickets are also said to threaten the natives of this sign.

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wow! i couldn't have described myself better! thanks NO for the post.

Chris-no wonder your advice makes so much sense to me.

i love projects and can work on them simultaneously. Currently i'm a nurse working in quality improvement. Didn't like not feeling in control w/direct patient care.

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Just checking in to see how everyone's day went, mine was fine and now I must go mow the lawn. Will check in later after I shower.

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Tinman: You still there? We are plugging along in our Plan B's. Alone tonight (kids r with WH). So I plan to rent a movie, eat take out, and go to bed. Heck...maybe I will even throw in a bubble bath.

I am much happier...and do not even know how long it has been since last contact...isn't that weird?

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HINY is a capricorn also 1/14

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