ISGirl thanks for the encouragement. Since I have thrown down the challenge that means that I have to do a steller Plan B to keep the challenge legit.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tinman,

You betcha! And you can do it!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

hi all out here in the dark!

just wanted to stop in and see how everyone is doing and it sounds pretty good!

i do agree w/tinman that contact by email is still contact and (imho) the ws will keep dragging this on until we put the stop to it.

oh. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> as u may have noticed i have changed my display name (to protect the innocent) u will have to go back thru my posts to c who i am!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

take care everyone. things are very dark in my area, but i can still see the fog from here! i'll update more when i can.

Tinman: You are darkman, and steelman (resolve as hard as steel...work with me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )...you go with your bad self!

I had a lonely and dark weekend. Went to fundraiser dinner on Friday (and played craps all night). Cleaned out my storage unit and restored stuff at home (and saving the $100/mth on the fee). Ball busting, hard labor work. The garage is clean as a whistle (it is obvious no man lives here by that fact alone). Today, went to church, then to lunch BY MYSELF (this sucked) then came home to garden. Then, WH called to ask if he could bring the kids home early. So I went outside, drank two glasses of wine, cleaned up the deck from my gardening mess, arranged my plants, listened to jazz music, and relaxed. Then, he came by to drop off the kids. This really sucked, because it was the first time I've seen him in weeks and weeks. He was obviously uncomfortable...would not come in further than the entry way (even thought he house looked and smelled awesome). Just dropped their stuff in the foyer and split.

It was sad to see him, and have no interaction with him whatsoever. He is more committed to Plan B than I am, it seems. There was no emotion whatsoever...he could not get out of there fast enough!

I said maybe three words. And then closed the door behind him.

I am beginning to wonder if my marriage will ever be reconciled.

<small>[ May 02, 2004, 08:59 PM: Message edited by: ChristyV ]</small>

Happy Birthday Tinman ! hope you're able to stick to your plan B today. good luck w/your appt w/jennifer tomorrow. i will continue to post to you just to check in but i'm afraid i'm starting to feel more and more different than anyone else here. thought we had simliar situations because of ages, no kids, lenght of M, etc. but i'm not in the same state as my H and my IL's are basically supporting him even if it's through their inaction. the OW in my case is 20yrs, single, and lives at home, her parents are aware of everything and are supporting them.

sorry to sound so gloomy, let us know how tonight went. prayers to you.

(((((Happy Birthday Tinman)))))...we're all here to support you...hang in there and let us know how your day went

Thanks for the Bday wishes NO and RR, I will let you know how it goes today, well see how persistent my W is about talking. I have alot of work to do today so I probobly won't be able to post again till lunch time so everyone have a good day.

RR - Hang in there, your WH will be back. What does he have in common with a 20 year old? Be patient, this will all blow over.

Tinman - Happy Birthday. Try to do something just for you. Watch out, WW may try to ambush you.

Thanks believer I will watch out for the ambush but I have a plan. I will pull into the garage close the door and if she knocks on the door I will hand her the mail and another copy of the Plan B letter and say have a nice night.

believer, thanks for the encouragment, other than their maturity level and sex, i don't know what they have in common <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Tinman, do you really have to be there? even if your in the garage, i feel like you are still "giving in" to her. she already knows the PBL or why would she ask your SIL why you weren't talking to her? i don't think giving her another copy of the PBL is a good idea at this point. but i'm not an expert so hopefully others will chime in. prayers to you.

Tinman,

Take it from someone who totally knows this whole game from top to bottom. I have been played like a fiddle. Hang the stuff on the door handle in a bag and don't answer the door at all. Do not see her. Do not answer the door. Leave if you have to. Do not be there. You have no kids so Plan B should be good for you. It is even harder with kids, as finding an intermediary isn't always easy. Please, please listen to me unless she wants to tell you there is no OM don't be there. Leave it at the door in a bag or an envelope and go. JMHO>

HINY

RR and HINY I don't plan on being there, but I do have to go home and put her mail in the mailbox because this is where I told her she can pick it up at. I already have plans to go out tonight and have a birthday drink with my friend and maybe dinner. I was just going to give her the Plan B letter again just in case she happens to be there when I get home from work, I don't think she will be there but just in case. I told my SIL to tell W that her mail will be in the mailbox, SIL is our middle person. I'll be ok I don't want to see her or talk to her unless it's about recovering our M, I WILL NOT GO BACK TO SQUARE ONE.

Tinman,

Why are you giving WW another PBL??? Did I miss something? You should not and make yourself scarce.If you will not go back to square one,why are you going to risk it by a possible contact??

Btw,Happy B-Day!

o

Octobergirl you didn't miss anything, this is just a what if, i.e. if my W is waiting at our house for an ambush right when I get home from work. I have to go home to change since I'm going out tonight. I'm not going out in work clothes. I don't want to see her so don't worry I think Plan B is working why would I want to screw it up now. Besides I threw down the guantlet letting everyone know that if I do a steller Plan B and it works everyone else will have to try to do it. I am a man of my word.

Hi all,

I am back in a Plan B but it's not going so well.I haven't figured out how to get my WH to see our girls away from the home on the weekends.Legally I can't do anything about him coming here,YET but until I can get those Separation papers done,I am "in great emotional distress" as I call it when he comes here.I have put a complete STOP to ALL e-mails,he cannot be trusted and we had another blow out the other day where he addressed an e-mail to me as the HW (homewrecker)! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> That was IT.

I am going to look into an e-mail intermediary from Saveyourmarriagecentral.I think Just J mentioned that a while back.Meanwhile I have no idea how things are really going with WH and the HW.I think he may be trying to distance himself from her or vice versa to appear more respectable <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> but we are not fooled.WH also has not tried to stop me from filing paperwork,so,onward I go.I feel like I am on the right track anyway but I really do not want a D.I don't want to be another statistic.

Hang in there gang.

O

Octobergirl:

I HIGHLY recommend the Email intermediary from SYMC. I have one now, and it has made a world of difference for me. I am definitely isolated from all the drama, and she helps me just communicate the emergency stuff (I had atendency to want to communicate all this petty stuff through her, as just a means of still being in touch, and she helped keep me in line and make sure I was just keeping my communication to the bare minimum, essential facts, etc).

You will NOT regret it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks a bunch Christy.I am glad to hear that you are having a good experience with it.I have yet to receive an e-mail back from them though.It may take some time I guess.

My WH is the one that wants to tell me about all the little things and talk about the girls and their day and so on.I do not(at this time) so this will be good once I can get an intermediary.

I was surprised to read that you let your WH see you while you were in Plan B.Tisk tisk. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Didn't make you feel better did it.It doesn't with my WH either which is why I am desperately trying to get him away from me right now.Anyway,thanks for the tip!

O

Yeah...seeing him yesterday during drop off sucked, which is why I modified the drop off procedue in the first place. Next time I will tell him to leave everything on the front stoop, or I will leave the room and go out on the back porch.

All hell is about to break lose over here....

OGirl,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am glad to hear that you are having a good experience with it.I have yet to receive an e-mail back from them though.It may take some time I guess. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you waiting for an answer/info from SYMC? If so, I can help. Please email me at sharonsymc@aol.com.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

okey dokey <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

O