I already have three tat's so I'm uneven so I might get one more to even me out. hehehe I'm doing good yard work three beers and on my way to get some more here after I eat. It's a great day indifference is the key. Oh I forgot to add I called my W yesterday and told her to come pick up her stuff. She's like you'll be there and I was like I don't care. She say's what time should I come over and I was like I don't care anymore so when ever. I'm going to sit on the couch and not help and just not care anymore. hehehe

Hey Tinny,

How is it? I hear ya loud and clear. I figure I will let WH be stupid and do all this handyman work until I can do it on my own. I am gonna take off tom when he comes with DS go to the park and cook some dogs on a grill and let DS swing. I will let him sit in the hot sun and mow the lawn, and later I will enjoy that air conditioning he put in while he goes to OW house in her second story apt. and sweats his dumb a$$ off for her. Yeah, life is great in plan me!

HINY

Hi Everyone...life is good for me for the last three days and I have been dark...out of sight out of mind...babysat with grandchildren tonight and youngest started talking about when she stayed overnight and told WS she cried because she missed him...just about broke my heart that this little four year old is reliving this nightmare just like everyone else...just told her her grandfather loved her...what else could I do..went out with some friends last night and had a blast so I think the key is to keep yourself busy and have fun...don't know what next week will bring but whatever way it goes I will be prepared...I may be joining you Tinman after I hear from Ws's lawyers..so we will both be there to support each other...HINY..good to have your handyman around.. I have got to the point that I am determined to do everything I can myself...anyone know how to open a swimming pool?...WS usually does that every year but I am going to try a search online first to see what needs to be done and as a last resort hire someone to do it...once I am shown I think I will be able to handle that myself from here on in...I will also be looking after yard work and house maintenance but I did that before anyway ( painted the house last year myself) just call me Martha Stewart...so here's to all us BS's...we can do this

NO

It is good to have the handy man around, but I would rather have my H instead. Of course that isn't going to happen any time soon. I am going to let him mow the lawn and get the pool operational and all of that while I am in Plan B. I have decided to stay in the house and not come out and socialize, or leave if I can when he comes. Mostly I just want to leave, not always easy with a three year old.

I know the affair would be over quicker if he just went to be with her instead of coming around and feeling all guilty. I wish he would just go be with her and get it over with already. But then again, I am getting pretty sick of his carp so I might just go lurking for a nice handy man that won't cheat......LOL.

Somedays I don't know if I am coming or going.

HINY

Well hey there Plan Bers.

Zizzy: Don;t get all his crap and give it to him yet. I think it is safe to keep it there while you are still married (albeit, barely). As far as contact with WH with drop off with the kid, etc, I would insist he leave her on the stoop, give her a kiss, and be on his merry little way. DO NOT let him wander around the house like he lives there, because HE DOESN'T. If you were to divorce, would you let him do this????

HINY: Girl... I would try and leave any time he comes around. I remember when you first started Plan B, and it would kill your WH that you would leave and go out of your way to avoid contact. And you see where contact got you most recently....the same taste of hurt and betrayal you have been gagging on for months! Be strong...

NO: You are doing great. Hang in there...you are doing fine. Just stay BUSY!

Darkman: What happened today at the homestead? I hope nothing too dramatic. Hope u r doing ok.

Well, I happen to know that WH is going to see an atty on Monday am. I was panicked at first, and then, I realized, I had better be true to all that hot air I was preaching about letting go of what WH does or does not do. If he files.... I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Hi Everyone...looks like next week will be interesting for some of us... Christy I will be praying for you hon...hang tough and keep strong...HINY how was your day today?...I concentrated on house cleaning today and am hopeful for nice weather next week to start on yard work...I have a beautiful perenniel garden that is crying out to me ...then the lawn needs to be mowed and then the pool needs to be started so I will be busy... Tinman anything new to report...hope you had a nice relaxing weekeend...Zizzy must be so hard with children going through this..just be strong for them and set the example...

<small>[ May 16, 2004, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

I just wanted to pop in to say hello to my fellow Plan Bers! I'm having a good day today! I cleaned out my freezser in the garage, took a nap with DS3 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and that is about it. I actually cooked the boys dinner tonight too! Tuna noodle casserole...one of the their favorites!

Well, I wont be posting here much...but just wanted to say hello and you all are always on my mind! keep strong!

I thought I would pop in and update.

I have reached the one month "milestone" in my Plan B. The closest I've come to a slip-up was having a R talk with MIL. I then told her that we couldn't do that anymore, it was a little too painful. (This is true!)

The other closest I've come to a slip was at the used CD/DVD store yesterday. Saw a copy of Romeo & Juliet cheap. WW liked the movie, but I had never seen the DVD (for purchase) before. Thought about buying and it dropping it in the mail, but talked myself out of it.

I really don't have much of a desire to speak to WW, although admittedly the "state of the M" still consumes me and my thoughts. I have found that even disappears when I am actively doing something. I guess I need to find more to do, huh?

I am a little surprised that I haven't heard a peep from WW. Not a sound. No email, text message, call, nada..... MIL didn't mention her asking, either. Is it possible that I may never see or hear from my WW again? That is something I have thought about a lot as well.

Overall, I'm doing good. I "like" my townhouse, (not as much as the house we JUST bought in September, that is being sold at the end of the month) and I am starting to settle in here. I am running a lot. (name's Forrest, Forrest Gump.) I ran a 5K last weekend (my second) in 25:55. I run another at the end of the month. I can't believe I haven't been doing this for years.

I miss our wiener dog. Probably more than I miss WW.

I'm not sure if that last statement was a joke or not....

I guess I'm taking the road less travelled these days....

Good Luck to all,
Ethan

Christy...i read your message too late coz i already text message him...I told him to collect all his necessary docs and stuff so he no longer has to contact me. I also told him, giving him his bag and letting him park his car at our apartment parking lot will be last favor i will do for him. I said that all contact from him with the thief still existing in our lives...only pains me. Told WH read plan B letter again. I said if WH dont come home then i need to move on. I dont know if i made matter worst or not by messaging him all those but i dont care. I am determine to make this round my most darkest plan B ever.

Only the maid is around when he sends daughter home so that is the reason why he still could enter inside. Well...i will figure this one out later.

HINY...i think you really should find a handyman...even knowing he is outside mowing the lawn might slowly make a crack in your plan B. I was replying to WH messages more than usual without realising that i was beginning to melt my plan B then eventually i broke the whole plan B AGAIN. It takes awhile to really get a good GRIP of plan B.

I visited The Other Woman site yesterday and read their stories. I got a bit of input for what my WH is like to OW. WH is the type who never said that he will leave his wife nor say anything bad about me. So they both live in this limbo land with OW always wondering when is the day WH will end it with her.

zizzy, are you not able to have an intermediary for contacting your H for the stuff about papers, belonging, kids, etc.? seems to me that would solve some of the dilemas you come across. I can't believe there's actually an OW site <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Furnitureman, thanks for the update and i hear you about the dog. i plan on getting my dogs in july, they don't deserve what's going on and who knows what if anything my H is doing for them and i could use the unconditional love company <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> if you know what i mean.

Tinman, hope what transpired over the weekend wasn't too bad for you. but what's done is done and we can't change the past only go forward, continue w/plan ME and stay dark.

prayers to all of you.

Hello all,

I didn't give the PBL as planned. I just couldn't do it. He was here mowing the lawn and stuff. He mowed until really late, came in and ate dinner with us. Then we all piled in my truck and went to the ice cream store and had ice cream as a family again. It was a nice thought I left him with, so on Wed. I am going to just leave DS at my moms with the PBL in DS bad and get out of dodge. It begins there.

I have no idea how I am going to work this Sat. coming up out in Plan B though, as I am going away WH is supposed to come in the morning around 10 to do more yard work whilst I pack to leave. Then I am leaving and won't be back until Mon. He is going to stay with the kids here at the house until I get back. Any suggestions? Plan B is hard with all this yard work and no money to pay anyone.

HINY

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I didn't give the PBL as planned. I just couldn't do it. He was here mowing the lawn and stuff. He mowed until really late, came in and ate dinner with us. Then we all piled in my truck and went to the ice cream store and had ice cream as a family again. It was a nice thought I left him with, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Morning HINY...I am no expert here by a long shot but I guess I have got to the point where I realize that as long as you let them fence sit they will continue to do it...he got his fix of you and the family yesterday and then goes back to his other life..that must be hurtful for you..from the Plan B principals that I understand..if you cut off all ties then WS realizes what he is missing at home...it also protects you from the pain of seeing them come and go as they please..no one call tell what to do and you have to get to a point where you have had enough of allowing WS to fence sit...I am at that point now...I do not care to lay eyes on WS while he is still in an A...I want to move on with my life and look after me so I would not allow WS to come to the house anytime the urge hit him...he has to know there are consequences for his actions...again hon you have to get to the point that you are fed up with the way he is treating you and you will know when you are ready to Plan B...take care and stay strong

<small>[ May 17, 2004, 09:04 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

NO

I am at that point as seeing him hurts me tremendously. It was very nice for us to do a family thing again, and it was good for the kids also they had so much fun. I am going to do the PB I just need some help on how to do it with the kids and me going away. I know I was much better and stronger while he wasn't around. Any suggestions? Maybe ask him not to come until just before I am leaving to go?

HINY

I agree with NO HINY, I think no contact is best. But what do I know I told my W to come get her stuff this weekend and she didn't show she chickened out. LOL Anyways I had a productive weekend cleaned one window washed my truck then I sat in the driveway and drank beer. No I'm not a redneck hehehe. I know I should have no contact with my W but like I said I don't care anymore, she can come and go as she please's to get her stuff. I'm indifferent right now like I said I don't care. If my W want's to ruin her life I'll let her.

tinman, thanks for the post on my thread, we are all in this together. no matter what plan we are in or what plan we're not sticking to, or what plan we make up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> w/all your "hehehe's" i see a slightly sinister side showing itself, no i'm just kidding, it make me laugh and smile. because you're probably right, SHE PROBABLY CHICKENED OUT! about getting her stuff.

i think you may be even developing another persona "mr. clean" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> wow, i'm actually really looking forward to getting my own place aside from where i'm living already (w/a friend since last october but not because of what's happened). anyway, it was just going to be until this summer for when my H came up here but since that's not going to happen <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> i want my dogs and my stuff. i'm still going to continue to plan A and drag my feet for as long as i can but did i say i want my dogs!!! i can't have them w/where i'm living now. the only thing is how to get them. i drive a truck, chevy silverado to be exact (i love trucks and hate driving cars), and there's no way that i can drive 12 hours w/2 big dogs in the front seat. i don't have a shell on the back and can't afford to get one. so i'm thinking that my H should have to bring them to where i live. he has a car and why should i be the one that has to do all the traveling? my plan is to be in a place by july 1st so i'll cross the issue of transport of the dogs when the time comes.

didn't have too exciting of a weekend but did workout both days, i need to get back into that. i need to follow my words w/my actions and SH said one of the best ways to do this is to continue my weight loss and that's not going to happen unless i work out. i said i wasn't going to stop until i reach my target weight so i need to do this. i just wish i could workout w/out having thoughts of my H, of them, of the situation, come into my head <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> but i digress, i've always wanted to actually "get into" running and would still like to do this. i think i still need to lose about another 10-15lbs before i start running. i know if i ran i would probably lose those pounds, it's a difficult balance. but i like doing the cross trainer and don't get unmotivated when i think about doing that for 45 minutes. whereas when i think of running, i think you get the idea.

anyway, other ideas for keeping busy on a fixed income? prayers to you.

Originally posted by HopefulinNY:
WH is supposed to come in the morning around 10 to do more yard work whilst I pack to leave. Then I am leaving and won't be back until Mon. He is going to stay with the kids here at the house until I get back. Any suggestions?

Plan B at your convenience...

If a week from tomorrow (Tuesday) is best FOR YOU .... then lay it on him that day... The day after you return from your trip.

You could use the time away to "practice" plan B.... don't call him or contact him while you are away!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> That may drive you loco not calling to talk to the kids ... but it will give ~WH~ cause to wonder... "hmmmmmmm? What's she doing?"

I think you should take the week to think things over, come up with a plan... that works for you. Don't hurry .... take your time and do this your way.

And impliment your plan on your timeframe...

Understand?

Pep

Thanks.

I posted a reply on the other thread as well. I think Mon. when I come back will be a perfect time to give him the PBL as he will have just spent the weekend at his own home with the kids. Just a little teaser of what home is like again.

HINY

There is no sinister side of me, only the indifferent side of me which I like now.

Good for you. Atleast you aren't constantly being played like I am. I wish I could just easily Plan B. There is so much work to this house, and the kids between us. It is hard to NC. I am just going to leave on Wed. when he comes. I think there is a sinister side to me....LOL.

HINY

i'm not having a good day already but hope you guys are, i really do. prayers to you all.