Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 26 of 39 1 2 24 25 26 27 28 38 39
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
chris - you are too funny. Made me LOL.

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
Chris that was funny. I could use the extra money too if you are just giving it away.

O

Thanks for the support. Let's just say that today was not a good day for me and it was out of my control and it still is for the most part. Let me give a little advice to everyone on this board though. If you feel the need to have SF with your WS.......use protection no matter what they say or what you feel. I am just horrified with the happenings of my day and will be for the rest of this week. I hope things get better for you. Things are getting better for me, I am getting strong and I will get through this. I miss SS, I hope she is having fun and gets back soon. She keeps me strong like steel. I am having surgery next Thurs. and I have never been through one alone, these are the times when you wish you actually had a decent H in your life.

HINY

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
Oh No hopeful,

I hope it's not what I think it is or at least it is treatable.Ugh.

I haven't seen SS or posted to her in a long time.I remember though,trying my best along with the other's to get her to turn that corner and stand up for herself.She did and look what happened.I really hope she is doing well still.

Hang in there.

O

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 509
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 509
Believe it or not, Chris, you made me laugh as well. BTW, the check is in the mail.

Thank you all for your input. I guess it will be some time before my "WW triggers" start to fade away, huh?.....

HINY, I WILL send you a picture from Albuquerque. It will be my first trip there. My sis is having her first baby. She just moved there a few months ago. Lord knows I need the break from Loserana!..... Good luck with your surgery....

Thanks again,
Ethan

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
Ethan,

You are a good man. Just remember that. If you weren't you wouldn't be on the MB site hurting like the rest of us, you would be off having an A of your own. Just go on with life. You are doing soooo well. You could be our Plan B star if you kept it up. I will be waiting for that picture seriously. Thanks on the surgery, just minor female stuff, but still scary going to sleep and letting someone else take the steering wheel for a while. Keep moving and you will be fine, it is when you stop that you start remembering things. NC is the only way to go.

O,

Your thoughts are absolutely right and I don't know a thing until Fri. It has been a absolutely horrible day. But with everyones prayers I know the good lord is looking after me and my two kids. I love them so much and I have no idea what in gods name I was thinking getting myself into this situation. I have been married pretty much since I was 19 and was always, always, always faithful. The thought never even crossed my mind, so to be in the Drs. today alone going through this was not fun for me. It was embarrassing and humiliating, and still not knowing is even worse. I couldn't say anything earlier for fear that someone I knew was posting here, I had to check that out first. She is not, so now I am able to say. I am sure I am not the first one to have gone through this seeing how everyone on here's spouse or themselves have been in an A it is bound to happen. If it happened to me, it can happen to anyone. I am hoping it is treatable also, well I am beyond hoping. I am praying my [censored] off. You can bet the SF won't happen again, ever.

HINY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
The one thing you can count on with WS is that they don't use protection. I don't know why, part of the addiction I guess. In this day and age, everyone knows that you need to use protection, but somehow the WS never does.

Joined: May 2004
Posts: 679
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 679


<small>[ November 07, 2004, 11:50 AM: Message edited by: cipher ]</small>

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
Yes, well I guess I found out the hard way. It won't happen again. I assumed because he was my H, it wouldn't happen this way. I still don't know anything yet, but I am feeling that gut instinct.

HINY

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Last year I had SF with WH. He swore he used protection with OW. Afterwards he admitted that he didn't. So in I go for all the tests. They came out okay. Had to go back again in 6 months and that came out okay too.

So I did learn my lesson. I have heard the same story here over and over. And look at all of the pregnancies here. What are these people thinking?

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,231
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,231
HINY:

I know exactly how you feel. My WH had sex with an INDIAN woman, IN INDIA, the most aids ridden country in the world, and then, came home and had sex with me.

I had to go to my gyno and order a whole battery of tests. On top of that, my insurance did not cover these specific tests, so it will cost me $500 for the labwork. I was so humiliated, embarassed, and completely ENRAGED that he could be so stupid and inconsiderate.

I will get on my knees and pray for you tonight. You are a faithful, loving woman, who had sex with her HUSBAND, so there is nothing to be ashamed of there. HE is the [censored]. You hold your head high, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

How are the rest of the Plan B'ers. My WH saw an attorney on Monday, and when he talks to the kids, sounds happy as ever (I can hear his cheesy replies, and exuberant voice from across the room). Oh well. I am not emotionally reacting to this at all... I feel like God will protect me and be with me, with a greater plan in store for me, despite what my WH chooses.

Hang in there gang! :-)

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,076
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,076
Sorry...shouldn't be here. I'm in Plan "LL", not Plan B, but still read the thread on occasion, and had to chime in on this one because it hit home for me, too.

Twelve years ago my WH had an A (this one is his 2nd). Coincidentally, I ended up with precancerous cells on my cervix not long afterwards. They didn't use protection because he's had a vasectomy. It was a scary time for me. I had laser surgery to get rid of the cells, because they continued to become more abnormal over the course of 6 months. I had all the other tests, including HIV, and they were all fine. And thank goodness, the abnormal cells have never reappeared.

Fast forward 12 years. He has another A. Again, I have SF with him before I really think about the fact that he didn't use protection. Then I start finding out what a SLEAZE the OW is. I've only been with him maybe 4-5 times since the A started, and they were all December and prior, but I'm nervous now.

I had my annual exam in January and "fessed up" with the Dr. about my WH's risk factors. She ran all the tests including HIV and hepatitus and all was well at that time. However, I know HIV can take several months to show up, so I really need to go back next month and be tested again, just to be sure. I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON ALSO!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

(My only small hope: OW had a baby about 6 months before she met WH. I know in Iowa they do a LOT of testing on a pregnant woman for STD's, I believe including HIV now. So since nothing showed up then, hopefully she was still STD-free when she met WH!???)

LL

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
Thanks Christy,

I am looking for those prayers.

HINY

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
well, everyone today is another day.

O,
i wanted to answer your question about my dogs. i only have computer access at work so i didn't get the rest of the messages until this morning. one of my dogs is an aussie blue heeler but we really think he has a lot of border collie in him <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> he loves to run after things and be chased. he won't fly up in the air to catch things, he has to have at least one paw on the ground. but he is a very good catch. any time he's played w/you have to have 2 of everything. if it's frisbee, you have to have 2, if it's tennis balls, you have to have 2. he won't drop the other one to let you throw it. so to get him to drop it you have to show him you have another one to throw. he does have some cattle dog qualities as well and he wants to be petted all the time.

the other one is a dalmation/black lab mix. he's an interesting looking dog. he has a lot of the lab features (tail, snout, hair type) but at the same time he acts more like a dalmation. his coat is white w/black spots but he also has huge black patches. he just likes to play tug of war, he's not much of a fetcher. he just likes to be in the same room w/you and he's not as smart as the other dog.

i miss them a lot and know that they are not being cared for the way they should be. even though my H said in his letter that they are doing great, i think that was just to try and make me feel better. they probably feel like mom has abandoned them. so ever more the reason i need to get my own place so i can get them.

well i gotta go, hope everyone has a better day and continued prayers to all.

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
Well folks, I am officially back in Plan B. Today I left when WH came, and when I got back he was leaving I told him we needed to go back to the intermediary for exchanging, I explained that the reason was the same as in the PBL, because he is still in his affair and all of that. I told him that when he was done with his affair we could talk about our M, I asked him if there were any questions and that was pretty much it, he left crying. It is great to be me!

HINY

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
Thanks RR. If I don't look out for me who will? NO one. I am going, and I am going far in this life. There ain't no stopping me now.

HINY

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 410
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 410
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If I don't look out for me who will? NO one. I am going, and I am going far in this life. There ain't no stopping me now.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So true HINY..so glad to see you up and running again...take care hon...

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
NO

Thanks. It is the truth. We all have to look out for ourselves in these situations as I am finding out. The fog causes lies and lies just hurt people. So lets all be in B together and be there for one another as best as we can. You take care also. Your on the right track.

HINY

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
where the heck is tinman today? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> hope he's doing okay and everybody is sticking to there plan B's.

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 622
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 622
Hi everyone sorry I haven't checked in today been busy at work deadlines. Glad your back in B HINY stay there now ok. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Page 26 of 39 1 2 24 25 26 27 28 38 39

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 174 guests, and 51 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
peppa, RP4280, Philip Pitre, ClarencePeterson, ColsDawg
71,872 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Children
by BrainHurts - 09/28/24 06:19 PM
Spying on Wife's phone without getting caught?
by ClarencePeterson - 09/22/24 08:59 PM
Depression
by ClarencePeterson - 09/22/24 11:19 AM
Separated/Dating
by ClarencePeterson - 09/21/24 08:58 PM
Child activities
by ClarencePeterson - 09/21/24 08:56 PM
Loss of libido/Sexual Attraction
by ClarencePeterson - 09/21/24 06:10 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,608
Posts2,323,426
Members71,872
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5