</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> just went and got the manual myself. I am thinking about getting a Harley also. Can't wait to take the test and get it over with.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">HINY...how goes the battle...great to hear you are thinking about riding...we can now call ourselves..."In Plan B...HD riding Club" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tinny...good luck on the test <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

NO,

It is an uphill battle most days. Nothing is easy. H is still living with his brother. Still in withdrawals having some good days, which are nice. Other than that just waiting to start IC and MC. He just acts like nothing has happened. He stays here about every other night, stays at his brothers the other nights. As far as I know there has been no contact. I haven't come out and asked because most days I don't really want an answer to that question.....what if there has? Then what do I do? I am 98.9% that there has not been. Although DD heard his cell phone ring yesterday. MC will help with all of this.

Thanks for asking though.

HINY

Hang in there sweetie...I know it is hard but remember your Plan B buddies are praying for you and your marriage....

New Outlook

Ths is HopefulCanuck from the 'other' message board. I think I need some advice from you concerning some of the legalities of divorce/separation and where to go from here. Seeing as we are in the same town I am hoping you can point me in the right direction.

I am not sure how to contact you directly through this board and am reluctant to post my email address here. If there is no other way I can set up a Hotmail account.

Thanks,

HC

Today's quote:


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> "Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole."
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Hopeful Canuck...I am also reluctant to post my email address as it will identify me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ..however I have a suggestion for you...in our town on Friday nights from five to nine there is a group that meets for social support called Mature Professionals who are comprised of Divorced and Separated folks...this group meets at the large hotel on Woodstock Road just before government house...(I think you will know the one I am referring to)...we usually gather in the bar for drinks and chat..( sometimes we sit outside poolside and sometimes there is a room posted on the bulletin board for us to gather....I usually attend with a few of my girlfriends...maybe you would like to attend...the group comprises of over 200 men and women in our situation...I could leave my name "New Outlook" with a gal named Wendy and she could direct you to me...I would be more than pleased to help you with any questions I can answer and I am sure others there could assist you as well....I usually attend between 6 and 6:30..

<small>[ June 23, 2004, 07:17 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

New Outlook,

Thanks very much. I will try to make it on Friday. How many people usually turn up? 200 sounds totally intimidating, and I suppose there is a chance that the other man could be there. Actually, that doesn't really matter too much I guess.

I should be easy to spot - I am on the thin side (having lost too much weight recently due to the crisis in my marriage) and just had my head shaved for a cancer fundraiser. Is Wendy on the desk? or where do I find her?

Thanks ever so much.

HC

Hopeful Canuck...there is usually around 40 to 50 tops show up and Wendy is the girl that looks after giving folks name tags etc. and they have a 50/50 draw which she usually sells tickets to help fund different events...last week there was a mini golf and BBQ at a local hotel in Lr. St. Mary's..she will be with a tall guy with grey hair...she has short straight brown hair..they are a couple who met there and are engaged ...they organize events for the group...she will be with the group ..either in Purdy's or wherever the meeting place is posted on the board...I know it is hard to go out the first time but these folks are all very nice people and have been where you and I are at now and they make you feel welcome...

<small>[ June 22, 2004, 02:01 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

Thanks very much. You don't know how much I appreciate this (actually, you probably do).

I have a joint counselling session with my wife tomorrow afternoon. She wants to discuss how to split (I think). I want to discuss how to communicate, how to see the other person as a human, how to keep the bitterness out of the relationship (wherever it goes), and issues around her ongoing affair. By Friday I may need the support of other people going through the same crap. I wonder how many of them I will know????

I will try my best to get there.

HC

Hopeful Canuck...I will keep my fingers crossed that things go well for you tomorrow...my Ws waited until we were in a councelling session to drop the bomb on me that he wanted a separation...I was floored...WS cried and cried and begged my not to turn our son against him so I suspect he had this all planned out previously...he always had to had reinforcements in place to drop the bombs...in that session he stated he wanted to be able to see other woman and wanted me to see other men so that if he saw me with someone else that might help him decide what he wanted...I stated I was legally married until I was divorced and if this was what he wanted to do then I was filing for D...so heads up on what comes down the pike...I truely hope that your WS can benefit from these councelling sessions

<small>[ June 22, 2004, 06:27 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

Hello Plan B'ers...just checking in. Hope you are all doing well.

Tonight i am going to treat myself and daughter to some fine dining at that new restaurant and charged the bills to WS credit card. The same restaurant that WS took his OW to twice.

Since we were separated...i never use the credit card so as not to burden WS with more bills since he is already living on his own and have extra bills to pay. I am too kind to WS.

To top it all...two weeks ago i even gave him some money to pay DD school fees because he said he was a little tight last month.

Now the credit card bills comes along and it recorded so much money spent on OW including two nights stay at a 5 star hotel.

I feel like doing a revenge and spend myself using the credit card. Let him pay the bills.

Check into the hotel for a weekend and go shopping...buy myself some luxury stuff. He told me he bought OW a watch. I think i need a new one too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This is all wishful thinking. I am not going to do a revenge by spending money. I am wayyyy over that or at least i am trying to.

But the dinner i will do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I don't know Zizzy but maybe you need a new outfit to go out to dinner in? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Sounds good to me.


Have fun!


HINY

Here's todays qoute.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> "All thoughts, all passions, all delights Whatever stirs this mortal frame All are but ministers of Love And feed His sacred flame."
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Ok so I have a story from this weekend. I found out that my STBXW finally after many months went down to visit her sister, brother in law, niece, and nephew. So my BIL calls me and we're talking, did I mention that my BIL and I are very close almost like real brothers. Anyways he calls me all angry because I guess while my STBXW was in the bedroom laying in bed she was on the phone with OM no that's not the worst part. The worst part is she actually let her niece talk to him, I guess as soon as my BIL told my SIL she and him were very angry. My BIL told me that he was going to have a talk with STBXW about this and let her know that if she doesn't get her [censored] together to not come visit anymore. I asked him not to do this due to the fact that I know I would get a whole bunch of grief from my W later on, like she would blame me for turning her family against her you know that old river in Africa denile. I'm going to finish filling out prelimanary DV info to be sent in tomorrow also sent an email to my W to get her stuff out of the house. So that's the latest. Life is moving on and looking so good now. You know what I like being selfish for myself and moving on, I know that there is a sweet, caring, loving, beautiful, and exciting woman wait for me somewhere.

An update from furnitureman-land....

I've been close to starting a thread for some support/motivation. I may do that later on. I have been struggling lately with my feelings. I am fighting hard (internally) between holding on for the sake of my marriage, and letting go for the sake of me. Postings from some around here have helped. I've tried to find guidance from scripture, but that hasn't gotten me anywhere.

I'm just feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions....

I guess I'll start a thread on this....after I pretend that I have a job for a little while this afternoon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The update:
WW got offered a new job. MIL said that she would begin Monday, assuming she passed drug and background screen. Perhaps I look a little too hard at things but that statement is the second time that I've gotten a good feeling that WW is smoking the Wacky Tobacky. (Something she did before we met, and a BIG no-no for me.)

I would believe that the new job could (if I could find a way to type that any smaller, I would) "benefit" things (or not.) I guess any change in the current sitch is good. It would provide her with an immediate one week separation from OM3, as she would have to travel for training. It also removes her from the drama of working for the same company as OM2 and OM3 (and also the same company that OM1 and I worked at as well.) There are a lot of folks there who are way bigger fans of me than of WW (now), or OMS 1,2 or 3. Perhaps the removal of all of that chaos will benefit her. It will also force her to focus on her job performance, something which has been sliding since (and before) D-Days 2&3.

I would imagine it would exert some pressure on OM3 as well, being as he cannot keep "tabs on her" as well. (Although, they live in the same apartment complex, so I'm sure they get plenty of QT together.) Certainly, he would have to be concerned as to her interactions with her new co-workers.....

I guess we'll see.....

Ethan

Ethan, always interesting to say the least and you analyzed the situation very well IMO. lots of stuff to think about and hope you will continue to keep us posted and/or start a new thread, etc. my feelings are doing a lot swhirling myself and i'm basically just having to ignore them and try and let God's will work in my life. prayers to you, RR

Well it is great to get report's from everyone today...here I sit in between reading your posts working on my Financial Statement...everytime I pick up the file I want to puke but know I have done everything in my power to try to save my marriage..with little or no effort whatsoever from WS...soooo I will buck up and do what needs to be done...TINNY..I know just from reading your posts that you will find the woman you deserve..we have all come along ways since DD and have become much stronger...my hope is that I too will find happiness with someone someday who can appreciate what I have to offer...

Serendip,

You let this thread go all the way to 4...what happened?

Tinny,

Where are those quotes?

NO

How is it up there eh?

HINY

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NO

How is it up there eh?

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well I am glad someone decided to bump up this thread <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ..today HINY it is pouring rain...managed to get out and do some things though...last night was Benefit Dance going on at one of the locals hotels here ...most of my friends attended ..would have liked to have gone myself but WS has started a new Blues Band and was playing so made sure I stayed clear as I did not want to run into him or OW...he has the perfect name for his new band <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ..so fitting ..says it all about his state of mind now...get this ..band's name is "Wrecked Minds"...can you imagine <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> .. how goes the battle sweetie...I take one day at a time now and that's all anyone can ask for I guess...