Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,231
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,231
* Took the car in to get major work done (and negotiated with the CUTE mechanic about pricing, etc)
* Killed a roach w/out scremaing like a girl (although I am one), hesitating, flinching, or wanting to vomit or faint
* Put together a patio table from scratch (complete with all the 1002 parts)
* Filed our taxes (thought about not doing it at all, since WH is such a PIG he did not even offer to help, but, noone can get ya like the IRS, so I did it on my own)
* Checked out a creepy noise in our backroom (the kids playroom), when even my dog was barking (just pictured the OW, and I was ready to open up a can of whoop [censored])
* Did my high pressure job (complete with new client pitch today, 1,000 fires to put out because we have a real JR. team right now that keeps SCREWING UP), picked up the kids, did homework, cooked, cleaned, did two loads of laundry, bathed both kids, packed their stuff for their trip to Dad's this weekend, AND have time to chat with my MB friends...WAIT. I used to do all that, minus the chat and the bag for Dad's house before, scratch that, nevermind on this one...I always handled everything before.

I can do this. I am seeing my strength get stronger every day!

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 622
T
Member
Member
T Offline
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 622
Christy you go girl I'm so proud of you. You don't need any of us stinking men around right now. You stay strong and don't make me break out the 2x4's k. Hugs

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
how's that song go "woooohooo!" anyway, again, you go girl. so what you have to do so that when you look back you can say you are proud at what you've done. prayers to you.

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551
Hey Christy, when you have some time could you come over and put together my new patio set. I probably shouldn't amit this but WW enjoyed doing that stuff so she always took care of it. I should have know something was wrong as it would have to be a sick mind to enjoy that stuff.
But seriously... you should be proud!

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551
Hey Christy, when you have some time could you come over and put together my new patio set. I probably shouldn't amit this but WW enjoyed doing that stuff so she always took care of it. I should have know something was wrong as it would have to be a sick mind to enjoy that stuff.
But seriously... we have to take our victories where we find them. Keeping looking for the good it's always there sometimes it's just buried deep than other times.

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,342
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,342
Christy, after I swallow the jar of peanut butter I'll be consuming this weekend, you think I could just fly out to FLA. and sit on that patio with you? We can go visit ex-partner friend while I'm there.

You are doing a heck of a lot more than me. Best friend and I haven't even walked yet. I'm still in Zombie mode after being run over by the truck last night. Hang in there girl. You are so strong!

It's good for me to be in contact with great 20 and 30 something year old women, to keep me from steriotyping all of you as the 33 yr. old bimbo H was involved with. I have to realize it has nothing to do with age, but with character. You've got that going! CV

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,231
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,231
CV, now that I think of it, I have to come up with a lower calorie speech inhibitor than peanut butter for you! Hmmm... wine didn't work. What else...what else?

Aha...I got it. Remember that "don't bark" dog collar I talked about on one of my other posts. What if we rigged that up for you. Everytime you want to tell WH to go to hell, and take OW with him, it will give you a jaw numbing zap. There are also a couple of other things you could put in your mouth, but, under the circumstances, you probably don't want to (or if you did, well...not to be crude, but, all I have to say is Lorrainna Bobbit (sp)).

Also, yes, be nice to 30 somethings. We are not all lying, cheating, stealing, losers VOID of any inkling of integrity. Like OW. YUCK! I mean, how the heck could you make that choice. I am not trying to sound righteous, because I am no saint. But really, I could never make the choice to indulge in a relationship with a married man. That would just be a deal breaker for me. PERIOD. Not even for the man and his wife and family, but it would not be enough for me. PPPUUUUKKKKEEE.

CV, not to sound overly simplistic, but, when you feel that "I am about to shred you, you heartless, thoughtless, senseless, idiot" rising up, maybe you should say, "Wow. I need to take a LB break. I need to remove myself for just a moment." Then, go in the backyard, and SCRRREEEAAAAMMM. Wow. Wouldn't that be FUUUUNNNN! Of course, the neighbors would call the cops, but whatever. Or buy a punching bag, put it in the garage, paint a skanky whore on it, and WAIL AWAY ON IT. If nothing else, FWH will soon know you will pull a Rocky on him if he does this crap again. You would be buff, he would be scared, and you would have an immediate outlet for all this pent up emotional garbage (because, the truth is, you do need to get it out).

And maybe, when you are not drunk, not angry, not anything, you can write down 50 reasons why you love this man. Maybe even go in your photo album and put some pictures with your list from your past together that you remember to be good times. Go out in the garage, open up some whoop [censored], then meditate on WHY you would be trying tjhe salvage this marriage. Then cry, pull yourself together, and resume your discussion. Also, I read a great book when all the DRAMA in my life started, and it gave some great tips for expressing all of this stuff that you have inside... if you want to reply with your e-mail address, I will write you to get your address and send it to you. I thought of you when I saw it on my bookshelf the other day, because it allows spouses to basically vent, but under a structured situation that is eliminates, reduces the LBs. Maybe it would be something constructive you could do with all this anger...because, I've read your story, and with your Dad, etc...you need to get it out and he needs to hear it.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ChristyV:
<strong>
* Killed a roach w/out scremaing like a girl (although I am one), hesitating, flinching, or wanting to vomit or faint
* Checked out a creepy noise in our backroom (the kids playroom), when even my dog was barking (just pictured the OW, and I was ready to open up a can of whoop [censored])
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">bwahahahahaahahahhahahahaaaaaa!! I laughed so hard reading this!! You are awesome, Christy! You are my hero! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Hi Christy,

You are amazing! You did really good. Keeping yourself busy and productive during Plan B is essential. And doing those things you've never done before can make you feel empowered.

I remember when I had purchased a new huge area rug for my upstairs bedroom. My bed is enormous too, and I had no one to help me slide the rug under. I was determined to do it too, so .....

I grabbed my never used car-jack from my new Ford Exploder (typo intended) and used it to jack-up my bed by alternating sides and slipping the rug under. It worked wonderfully.

After that successful task, I knew I was gonna be okay.

Keep up the good work. Just remember, this is still a rollercoaster ride and there will still be emotional peaks and valleys, just not so steep. Stay strong!

Love,
Jo

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,575
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,575
i remember that

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,342
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,342
Hi Christy! I just read your reply post to me. As usual you made me laugh. Yeh, I need the collar. Isn't the Home Shopping Network in Fla.? Maybe we can go into business together. The collar can have 2 purposes. It can be for BS's like me. At even the thought of OW it will give us a shock. And then it can fit tighter for WH's certain body part. When H thinks about OW he will get a shock. Not sure how it can work for a WW. Actually H and I were talking about Loirainna Bobbitt last night. No kidding! He told me several times over the weekend that he has this fantasy that I'm like an alligator who is being very quiet until something he wants to kill enters its path. Then snap! He feels like I am being sooooo goood, things will improve, get back to normal, and then I'll dump him. I just smiled because that particular fantasy has crossed my mind. He then said about Bobbitt, he wonders sometimes if in the middle of the night I might want to do what she did to her hubby. I think I told him it didn't cross my mind, but someone on this site may have brought it up. Probably you! Plus, I happen to like that body part. Hopefully if I dump H I'll find someone else and that body part can be replaced.

You don't have to send me your book. Just give me the name and I'll go buy it.

Did you read on my SH thread about what H told me about OW's advances? They really made me sick. The blowing him kisses, giving a popsicle a BJ. One big game to seduce the boss. Someone gave me the image of thinking of her as a roach. So now, when she invades my thoughts, I picture this roach with her face, and see her scurrying into the wall. It works for me. Hope your Plan B is doing better! CV


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 562 guests, and 40 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ameliamartin, Nicholas Jason, daisyden878, Oren Velasquez, Kerniol
71,999 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by Oren Velasquez - 06/16/25 08:26 PM
Roller Coaster Ride
by happyheart - 06/10/25 04:10 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by risoy60576 - 05/24/25 09:12 AM
Advice pls
by Steven Round - 05/24/25 06:48 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,508
Members72,000
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0