See a doctor and get some anti-D's. They will help you with this. You can do it in several stages, or all at once.

Remember, your WH will be furious, they all are. But the quickest way to end an A is to shed some light on it. But try to do it calmly and nicely. It would be nice if it just ended, but don't count on it.

Another part of the problem. I am too nice. I just don't do things that I think will hurt people, but this whole A thing has brought out a side of me...I'd really like to rip her throat out. I actually visited her house, she wasn't woman enough to step outside and talk with me. That is all I wanted to do--is talk. I will get her goose somehow. I figure if I irritate her enough she'll dump him feeling he isn't worth the hassle. Although this may backfire and send him running to her. Oh well, either way the situation is resolved. They won't last long if that is the case.

Don't be so sure she will dump him. But I think you can at least get them on different shifts. Also try to calm down and not get in a big argument with WH.

And don't tell him what you are going to do. Just calmly tell him that this is not working for you. You don't have to be unkind at all. The OW is a threat to you and your family.

ativan is a mild anti-anxiety pill...
same family as valium..but one that people can take while working etc.....

hurtnp...I agree that you husbands absolute refusal to quit talking to her....(physical contact or no physical contact is a major act of disrespect)....

so here are my questions...

how did you find out about the affair...

does he say it's over and he wants to stay married...

are you two in counseling...

has your husband actively participated in any type of healing for you...

ARK

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hurtnp:
<strong> He is a cop....she is a dispatcher!!! I think tomorrow I am going to talk to her boss and maybe his. I don't think this will be beneficial at all. It may just be an act of vindictiveness. But that is where i am right now.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">hurt, expose, expose, expose! Call their bosses and her parents. Harley recommends doing everything short of taking out a billboard. But do it all in one day. Better to recover from one lovebuster than 10 dribbled out over a period of time.

I would also recommend not leaving. Unless you want the OW brought into your home to replace you? The BS should NEVER leave or it just makes it easy for the WS to CHOOSE the affair with all the comforts of home. They have a much harder time choosing the affair when they have their home base upset.

Nor would i ask him to move yet. You are not ready for Plan B. I would concentrate first on EXPOSING the affair to everyone, recovering from the LB and then going to Plan B at the right time. You don't even want to go to Plan B too early.