RR, SH has never suggested Plan B. Understand I am 2.5 yrs down the road so I suppose the time for that has passed. I think Steve and I both understand that her EA is really just about run its course. All she gets out of this is fantasy. But I guess what we're working towards is her to understand the damage she's done and start the hardwork of rebuilding. Every situation is unique and what is acceptable to one would not be to another. I think if I ever told another man about my concern they would laugh. Men figure if they aren't f'ing, what's the problem. Well I can't accept that she has feelings for another man (forget the ONS for a minute). An EA alone is devasting, it absolutely takes away from my marriage. She gets the needs met in two places and I have only one way to go. But I can tell you that SH is having an effect. She is begging to stop the counseling because it is forcing her to face the music. She recently went to our family doctor and asked him to prescribe anti depressants. So I know she is under lots of pressure. I mentioned that to SH and he said that was the goal to make this so heavy that she'd come out of the fog. I'm not looking to kill her by water tourture but I want to make sure we never go down this path again. And THAT absolutely means me as well. She needs to start getting close to me so I don't lose focus and start to give up. I'm not worried about her doing this again but I refuse to accept a dead marriage. I still didn't get to your update but I will comment. I have read it and it amazes me the position of your FIL. Hypocrite.

gotcha, even more clearer now and wish you the best.

As far as my FIL, don't know what he's saying to my H if anything, can't see him welcoming this OW into their home, at least while we are still M. but i didn't see any of what's happening now coming. maybe he is on my H's case for what he's doing but kind of feel if that was the case why hasn't he called me personally? still sad but i need to stop dwelling on that because it's definitely not benefiting me at all right now.

thanks for the quick response. prayers to you.