Ok NY, you gave me something to smile about OW is hurt that makes me glow (well that and H gave me SF finaly last night LOL SSSHHHH don't tell )

ALright I'll be seriuos , everything here post is great , you should not be overly jumping up and down and I see your not . Thats , the strong attitude way to go keep it togehter.

As far as not wanting him any more ,, well girl this is a natural feeling after all the turmiol .

False recovery, him being gone, the no response in acting like a farther (caring one anyway) to your son and most of all the still lingering question of " how the f could he do this "

How can I possiable still love this man ? how after he knew yes knew he would hurt ME , the one who was here for him ? The person who YOU LET hold heart and never thought that PERSON of all people would ever dare breack it , and for that matter let some HO have a crack at it .

All things you may question for a very long time , but girl ,, ask yourself this ,, DID you come here and go through all thisa cause you thought you would D or that you knew inside that you and H could make this work ???

I am sure you intended for this to come out with a happier, healther, and more loving M then before .

If you truely learned something about yourself , was one of it that you know you are caring , giving, and forgiving ???

I think so , I understand cation totally , and the work it takes for recovery could be well very painful . BUt you are strong , and hey you already know you are "right" so now all that is left is to be M .

You know I am not one to defend an A and you read my stuff I am pretty ruff on WS's even my own FWS , BUT the trueth is they made a HUGE mistake HUGE I know ,,,, BUT if he is willing to heal from that and work on helping YOU HEAL ,why would you want to walk away .

Again I understand the being scared and protecting your heart , but you can't keep a wall of protection up on yourself forever ,, so why not open yourself up to a man that you know you love and may be so remorseful and will live his life holding you up on the pedisal that you deserve so much one more time .

Pain is part of life so is disappointment .

You have grown from this horriable experance and with growth you can forgive .

Take your time and follow your heart do not be scared to do that , allow him to take the time he needs to figure himself out as well , toghether the 2 of you can grow together .

This all takes time and work and most of all undestanding . If you truely where over him you would have D him by now . You wouldn't have fought so hard and stayed so strong for your M .

BE WELL

Ok NY, you gave me something to smile about OW is hurt that makes me glow (well that and H gave me SF finaly last night LOL SSSHHHH don't tell )

ALright I'll be seriuos , everything here post is great , you should not be overly jumping up and down and I see your not . Thats , the strong attitude way to go keep it togehter.

As far as not wanting him any more ,, well girl this is a natural feeling after all the turmiol .

False recovery, him being gone, the no response in acting like a farther (caring one anyway) to your son and most of all the still lingering question of " how the f could he do this "

How can I possiable still love this man ? how after he knew yes knew he would hurt ME , the one who was here for him ? The person who YOU LET hold your heart and never thought that PERSON of all people would ever dare breack it , and for that matter let some HO have a crack at it .

All things you may question for a very long time , but girl ,, ask yourself this ,, DID you come here and go through all this cause you thought you would D or that you knew inside that you and H could make this work ???

I am sure you intended for this to come out with a happier, healther, and more loving M then before .

If you truely learned something about yourself , was one of it that you know you are caring , giving, and forgiving ???

I think so , I understand cation totally , and the work it takes for recovery could be well very painful . BUt you are strong , and hey you already know you are "right" so now all that is left is to be M . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You know I am not one to defend an A and you read my stuff I am pretty ruff on WS's even my own FWS , BUT the trueth is they made a HUGE mistake HUGE I know ,,,, BUT if he is willing to heal from that and work on helping YOU HEAL ,why would you want to walk away .

Again I understand the being scared and protecting your heart , but you can't keep a wall of protection up on yourself forever ,, so why not open yourself up to a man that you know you love and may be so remorseful and will live his life holding you up on the pedisal that you deserve so much, one more time .

Pain is part of life so is disappointment .

You have grown from this horriable experance and with growth you can forgive .

Take your time and follow your heart do not be scared to do that , allow him to take the time he needs to figure himself out as well , toghether the 2 of you can grow together .

This all takes time and work and most of all undestanding . If you truely where over him you would have D him by now . You wouldn't have fought so hard and stayed so strong for your M .

BE WELL

3,

You are right, I am sure that these feelings are normal. I have read the recovery board and I know for a fact that remorse is not in the picture at this time, and it is what I am looking for you know.

He does love me, he does have some respect for me at this point. I am glad that things are working out the way they are. He needs this time to himself. I just hope she doesn't call him the whole time he is down there, because I am not planning on calling him once unless his DS is in the hospital or some other major emergency. I guess time will tell, and I am putting this all in gods hands again. It was nicer when I did that. Let someone else worry about it.

One thing is that he isn't seeing her in person anymore. That makes me feel better for now anyway. Oh and glad to hear about the SF last night. Must be nice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I am jealous and I have been waiting now and wanting also. So glad things are moving on for you also. Thanks for your 2x4 I needed it and you know I did. I have held his hand for 10 years and I am still standing here holding it, he just doesn't know it, or if he does he isn't willing to grab on yet.

HINY

OH crap you posted while I was posting ,, so sorry .

Well lets not jump to anything , it does not mean hes with her , LISTEN if she is heartbroken , she is still going to try to call him .

So she could very well just be calling to cry ect.

You will know if she is gone with N/C when he tells you .

Stay in plan B ,, and be strong when you are ready to give up you will truely know .

YOU won't think twice about D ,,, YOU will know .

Thanks.

I am not nearly close to D. I know that. So for now I am just sitting here looking pretty and smelling like a bouquet of roses. Instead of like sh** in the brown pasture.


HINY

NY, what I like most about your posts is the fact that you sound strong. Yes the A sucks, you wish it never happened, but you grew immensely from it and like yourself better for it.

The other thing I like is that now you are at a place of really realizing your power. You have the choice of whether you want him back or not. Good for you!

Finally, I am still in the vindictive mode towards the OWs of the world. I'm so glad your H's OW feels sad. Poor Baby! My H's OW, because of her greed, lost her job, her new career, her friend who was H's business partner, and lost my H who she hoped would be her H. Too bad she couldn't have settled for the good job and new career opportunity. I would LOVE to call her up and gloat, but unfortunately I can't.

Have a great weekend away! I know you'll be fine whatever happens. If you take H back it's on him to prove himself to you. CV

CV

Nice to hear from you. I hear you about the OW syndrome here. I really am going to shop at her grocery store this whole weekend. Like as much as I can. I will bring my kids also. She saw us several times as a happy family. She saw WH and I at a dinner dance, we were dancing and kissing and just having a great time. Then a little later that year she saw us at a festival, I was pushing a stroller, WH was with me and my DD also. We stopped said a quick hello, and carried on. Needless to say I did not realize that he was already carrying on with her. This was in Aug and they started in July. Anyway, yes she deserves it all, every ounce of misery. He is in misery too right now, as it does take two to tango.

I do have the power now. Since I have been separated I have been doted on by so many men, and most of them are WH friends. He gets mad, I laugh. What did he expect? He left a 35 yr old beautiful, loving wife, a home, two kids and everything for some fat nasty thing. Of course there will be people interested! I haven't been with anyone but my H in 10 years and he knows it and that really bothers him to think of me with someone else.

All in all, I just want to have my M back and have a normal life for my kids. If it isn't with him, I will have it with someone else eventually. You hang in there. We are strong like steel! Plan B makes you strong.

HINY

NY, our lovely H's started their As at the same time. Well, actually H's EA started about a year ago, the PA, if his faulty memory is correct, started last July.

Plan Aing has made me very strong. I'm sure Plan B makes you a superhuman. H told me a few weeks ago, when he was still having phone contact, that OW said she was angry at herself for being so stupid to think he would leave his family for her. DUH! Granted we are not out of the woods. But the little twit thought she could erase a 26 yr. relationship, and an 18 yr. M, with "F"ing and a lot of admiring. She also underestimated my H's love for his children. Also really underestimated me! A very, very stupid OW. However, IF we can't maintain recovery, then the 2 stupid ones can have each other.

Unfortunately for me I don't have any men chasing me. None of H's friends are available, and not having a job I'm not around any available men. Boy, that would make this all so much more fun. You hang tough whatever happens! CV

I couldn't resist ,,some humor .

CV, I thought that 2 about the MEN thing , I am a SAHM and no freinds available .

BUT right before H came home it was weird and fun .

I meet a fireman at the supermarket that got all flirty with me, a construction worker that asked for a match and wrote his # on the cover , and even a man jogging in the park that wanted my # .
LOL

IT was : fun , and ya know what the minute H saw I was going to start dating (not really but thoughts ) is when he decides to come HOME go figure ..

JUST when I was getting my grove on LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

OK sorry NY ,, I just thought funny moment ..BYE NOW ! have a nice week end !

3

Humor is welcome anytime we can find it. You have a great weekend yourself. I am painting all weekend. On Mother's Day we are having a big bash here at my house. My Mother and her Mother are coming over, along with my children and my sister who isn't a mother, and never will be praise the lord, and we are having London broil, lobster, shrimp, and fish. Lots of smirnoffs and lots of laughs.

HINY