It is ironic that this thread shows up here today...I have to take some mail over to a friend to give ot WS...since WS removed his wedding ring while in A I am going to attach my wedding ring to a brief note stating that it will be in his keep...anyway have any thought on how to word what I should say to WS about giving him back my wedding ring...want the words to be sincere and to the point so would appreciate any help...

Originally posted by staggered:
Pep-you are right I am just a dumb guy and obviously must not have been able to read my W.

And she's a dumb gal for not having taught you how to read her better... That door swings both ways. It's not an inate thing you know (unless you're gay)... you wife should teach you how to communicate better... because women have a greater skill in that regard, most of the time.

I am glad there are women here to help us dumb guys. But why should guys have to read womens minds couldn't they just say it would make life much easier(that's another thread).

Yes indeed ... it's on another thread, one I started about Dr. Laura's book

The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands.

Anyway I hope she wears her ring soon so I can comment on it. I don't think I'll do the hand kissing since she will barely let me give her a hug.

If you approach her gracefully... and smoothly, she might surprise you.

Touch her hand lightly first... then quietly draw her hand to you lips.

Sometimes you've got to shock the WS a little... she's too self-absorbed right now for much to be expected.

Pep

<small>[ May 21, 2004, 10:59 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Thanks again for the comments. Good to hear from you Awed. I posted to you on my other thread Contact with OM. Unfortunately, I have to go make dinner. It is almost 6pm on this side of the ocean. Anyway I am still interested in other comments. I will try to check back later.

Staggered,

Here's my 2 cents: I too have always felt it important to wear my wedding ring. (In fact, in 20 years, I could probably count how many times I've taken it off on two hands.) The only thing I don't like about my band is that it has become somewhat misshapen (more oval that circle). My wife often takes her's off, when working, showering, dishes, sleeping. There was one time when the diamond almost came off the engagement ring and she's been extra careful about it since then. Plus, I think one of the prongs broke/came loose once. It has always bugged me that she takes it off, but it's never really been a bone of contention between us. I asked if she took it off during the A, but she didn't remember. Just that if she did, it wasn't on purpose.

Well staggered it appears you have gotten some really good thoughts here.

I think we all agree that the ring signifies so much and you have gotten some great suggestions about how to handle the situation with your wife.

BTW - I think it is important to recognize that the wearing the ring also gives the WS the impression that we have not given up on them. That we love them and are still focused on our marriage.

I am praying for you.

On dday 2 I gave my wh his family's heirloom engagement ring back (the same ring his mother wore when his father had an A that resulted in a child and divorce). Told him he could give that ring to whomever he wanted, but I'm keeping my wedding band because I am not giving up on our marriage.

Plus, I'm the 4th woman to have worn that engagement ring and I don't like it's legacy.

I quit wearing mine about 2 years into the M. I was doing constuction work and got it hung on a nail gun and nearly tore my finger off. WW never took hers off that I knew of. She wore them doing the dishes, to bed, 24-7. I don't know when she stopped wearing them but I noticed shortly after move out day that she wasn't. It really took me by surprise how much it bothered me. After D-Day of her first A (that I know of) which was seven years ago- I found out after move out day this year- I asked her if she took them off when she was with that OM. She denied that A and still is. She has probably been well coached by her attorney if she told him about that A. She hasn't worn them at all that I know of since I first noticed that she isn't. Now she knows that it bothers me so she probably won't wear them anymore.

Hello everyone! It has been about 2 weeks since I started this post and wanted to give an update on this particular post. Three days after this post was our 7-year anniversary. I gave my W flowers and a card. She wore her ring that day after not for 3 days. That night while we were lying in bed I told her I was glad that she wore her ring that it made me happy. She said she often wore her ring. She has worn her ring every day but 1 since then. In fact this morning as she was in the car for work and I was putting the girls in the car she said oh I forgot my ring. I asked if she wanted it and she said yes. So I got it for her. It made me feel good that she actually asked about her ring and wore it even though she was running a little late. I hope this means she is starting to warm up to the idea of us again. Anyway, I thought I would give an update to all that responded and thank you again. This is some happy news in my book.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks Pep! It was because of encouragement from you I decided to tell my W how I felt about her wearing her ring. Now I just hope she keeps it up and we can begin to work on us.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by staggered:
<strong> But why should guys have to read womens minds couldn't they just say it would make life much easier(that's another thread). </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Staggered,

I'm so glad things worked out for you. As you now know from experience, it's not just women who expect their spouses to read their minds! Whenever you're tempted to "show" your wife how you feel (i.e. by handing her the rings) just remember how much easier it was when you actually told her.

April

Dear Stag,

Here is my WR story.

H broke his ring (while away working/where he eventually started A) So.........his ring was in my purse at the time...I was taking to jewelers to be fixed.

Since D/D arrived I never have fixed the ring. Like our M/Ring was broken.....like a sign???

Still to this day have not thought about fixing it.

What about my rings?

While H was out of state(yes during A time) he was suppose to be looking for a new ring for me! A larger stone...clearer etc...

Well..........you can tell he "other" things to keep him busy other than think about me.

Today my rings sit in my jewelry box.
We can not afford a new ring now. So....I wear none.

At Christmas time we both bought (without telling eachother) gold cross's and chains.
For now..........this is our commitment to eachother. Our Faith/ and our cross's. Neither one of us goes a day without them on.

The rings????
His broken, mine hidden away will remain there....
May be some day, with the new M we will feel the need for New rings....until then, my cross and his is reminder enough of our VOWS. Both to God and to eachother.

Blessings,
Atruheart

My WH moved out two weeks ago. He came over tonight for dinner and I noticed he was not wearing his wedding ring anymore. I asked him about that and he didn't say anything. Just one more thing for me to feel horrible about.