IASS,

You said, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree that I need to be honest and let him ask, but I hesitate to tell him details that he does not ask for because they may hurt more. As several of you said, it is his decision and I will wait for him to ask. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But do you think he will ask knowing full well how you may react? I can guarantee that he hesitates to tell you things even when he knows you are wrong, simply to avoid your anger. He is probably tired of your angry outbursts and has thrown the towel. Why don't you approach the topic to see if he is receptive?

You said, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think it is in my genes since my parents are like me. They have always been in a ring, fighting.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually, it is very common for children to reflect their upbringing and the atmosphere they were exposed to. Genetics has nothing to do with how you react to situations and how you lead life in general. You may do some research on twins who have been adopted by different families and see how their personalities reflect their home life.

You have been selfish and mean to him. Why should he stay with you? Have you given him any reason to stay? Have you shown any changes? At least you recognize how your own problems may have influenced him. Has he changed from the time you were first married till now. For better or for worse couples tend to mold to one another after years of marriage and if he has any anger, ask yourself, where is that anger coming from? You do not need to look to far to find the answer. Very likely he still loves you, but what you have done is the worse thing that you can do to a marriage and to a partner's self steem.

If he is a "perfect husband", as you say, why did you treat him like that? Is there a history of mental abuse or infidelity in your side of the family? Is that another behavior that you may be mimicking? Think about it. Hopefully you are seeing a counselor who can help you with your own problems and perceptions.

best of luck