Deap Pain -

I wasn't going to post here again because I am not married, but as the OW in my relationship I wanted to tell you to please contact the OM's and let them know you are real and that you love your wife. They need to hear the truth. And as for your wife being told on to them - no women wants to be viewed as a slut so it may shame her, which it sounds to me is what she needs in a BIG way.

As for the phone tapping laws in Canada -
Years ago I had an incident where my daughters husband failed to give my daughter back to me at the set time and I simply called the police post and they were more than happy to explain the laws to me and to give me advice. Usually they are more than happy to help in anyway they can.

Just my thoughts but what you are going through sounds incredibly painful.

Thank you weaver for stopping by....

Yes, i am stuck on this one on what to do....
I just want to be more sure what the laws are, w may not do anything but can the OM can....

deeppain

Does anyone have any thoughts how I should present the evidence of the tapes.

I do not have any other hard proof, unless someone has any other thoughts.....
This is getting way to deep....

Deeppain

DP
Didn't you say, you knew she was with OM in a truck, and at your house??? Tell her the facts that you know, without disclosing how.

You will probably need your source, the tapes for a later date. Many people recontact after the A is over, they can't make it through withdrawals.

Don't give her room to lie, tell her point blank, I know you had SR in the truck, I know you had SR at our home. I know you make phone calls and receive phone calls. She will probably think you have a PI on her.

I thought about you alot this weekend. I hope you have read the concepts and have educated yourself on this board. After exposer it doesn't get easier. You have the fog, and withdrawal, and often the WS will sneak back into the A. Recover, is even tough, that is where I am.

Read up my friend. First you need to expose this to everybody you think would make a difference. Make it hard for her to continue.

I'm guessing because this involves 2 OM, this is going to be very difficult to put an end to it. It is hard enough to end 1 Relationship.

That is why I say don't disclose your phone tap, because I'm sure you will need to be checking on her.

MB LOVE TO YOU.
KY-4

deep - the prior responses have good ideas.

Just tell her what you know. You don't have to say how you know.

In a way, this is better than letting her hear the tapes because she'll have NO IDEA how you know.

As ky4 suggested, just reveal a few facts without even mentioning dialogue your have on tapes. Do it calmly and allow her to deny because we know she will. Be ready for it. Then just state that when she is willing to admit these facts, you'll be willing to work on the problems with her that led to these bahaviors.

As for the OM's wives, tell them the same things - you know OM #1 and your wife did such and such, etc.

WAT

Thanks for stopping by.....

It sounds so easy by I am sure explosions will happen, my w is like that she will just burst into anger and start yelling......

I know my W, if I tell her some things that she did. She will just keep hounding me to tell her how I know.
How would I handle that if she is that pushy and insisting on how I know something like that even if she says it's not true...

thanks
Deeppain

You bet, explosions will happen. This is the desired outcome.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by deeppain:
<strong>I know my W, if I tell her some things that she did. She will just keep hounding me to tell her how I know.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your answer: a calm "No".

How you know is irrelevant to whether she did them or admits/denies them.

Deep, this is very simple.

Tell her a few of the things you know - sex in the truck is a good one, sex in your house is a good one. Stop there.

She WILL rant and rave - we've heard it all before. Instead of knowing via tapes, if you had caught her in the act, she would STILL rant and rave because you invaded her privacy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Tell the OM's wives: "I am aware that your husband is having an affair with my wife and, in fact, had sex with my wife in the truck", etc. "I want you to know this so that you can deal with your husband's behavior."

Then, tell the OMs, the same facts: "I am aware you had sex with my wife in the truck", etc. "I want you to know that I know this and that your secret is out."

Simple. We know it's not easy.

WAT

DP
Of course she is going to explode, what better way to distract you from her wrong behavior.

Keep in mind you are doing the right thing, you are not the one Betraying her. YOu are trying to rebuild what she has broken.

She will see this as a LB, your invasion of "her" privacy. HA!!! So should you just sit idle and allow her behavior??? NO, Expose her.

Keep strong my friend.

KY-4

thank you this is helping alot.....
a friend of mine also said it must come out right away too.....

DP

Still Planning.....
She has been sick for the past few days.
DP