Plan A works to meet the WS unmet needs, and give the WS a good idea about what a M with you would be like. If it continues too long, the WS gets into a situation where they have their needs met by TWO people and become a cake-eater (having their cake and eating it too). Why woule anyone want to stop that?
You can Plan A while the A is going on, and make deposits in their LB, but you can't start working on recovery of the M until the OW is out of the picture... 2 different things.
Make a plan for yourself...how long can you keep Plan A up without losing love for your WH? You have been doing this a long time, you may want to think about moving to Plan B soon. Sometimes (often?) the WS has to be SHOCKED into recovering the M. Right now he thinks you will ALWAYS be there...why not continue the way he's going? And as long as you are fulfilling his EN's the OW doesn't have to work as hard...she comes out looking like a rose. Plan B helps the A couple greet reality...helps them see what it would be like if they had to fulfill each other's needs. A couple are selfish, and they start to resent each other, and the fantasy bubble starts to break away. Plan B also helps a WS see what life would be like if there really were a D...like a trial D. Sure, a D seems like a good idea to WS ("I'll be free", "I can see OP anytime!") but then the cold reality sets in, they don't have you around anymore...loneliness sets in, there are bills to pay and responsibilities, it is not so much fun...
Don't wait too long to go to Plan B!!
Recovery of M takes quite a bit of energy. Move to Plan B before you lose all your energy, you'll need it when he wises up!!
<small>[ June 07, 2004, 10:19 AM: Message edited by: StillHereMakingIt ]</small>
