hi guys
I am a mental and physical mess. I just feel like buying things to make me feel better. It's not a replacement for my wicked feelings, but ok. I am learning to accept feeling bad. It's slowly coming. Today was a casual day. I need stable ground right now, and I feel like noone understands me except maybe for you guys, but nooone around me understands.. maybe if they knew all they would understand.

I'm ok in all. I couldn't help to cry yesterday....I was in the car and I just started to cry. I don't know why, but I cried my eyes out. I am dealing with it... I don't want to suicide...and that's good.