Andi,
IMHO that's part of the difference between men's and women's affairs.

I think men tend to have affairs, whether EA or PA, as an addition to the marriage while women tend to have them as a replacement to the marriage.

Now that doesn't mean that all women will leave the marriage but by the time they have a EA or PA they are thinking of leaving the marriage.

Most men don't seriously ever contemplate leaving. There are exceptions but I think this is the general rule.

I think its important for the BSs to know this behind the scenes thinking.

just a few thoughts,

cwmac

<small>[ June 13, 2004, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: cwmac ]</small>

Listen to melody. You can't go thru this much longer.

If I leave her without any cash she'll definely attack the divorce angle, she needs the money from the settlement. I fear her internet BF is counting on our money too.

Can she do that?

<small>[ July 06, 2004, 11:48 AM: Message edited by: 1Tin Man ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cwmac:

I think men tend to have affairs, whether EA or PA, as an addition to the marriage while women tend to have them as a replacement to the marriage.


cwmac </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have thought this exact thing for some time now.

pep and cwmac ... geniuses separated at birth?

Its nice to see that you made appointments to see an attorney.

I don't know how she can use going to the doctor against you. You are actually getting help so you can be a better parent. The drugs are prescribed under a Doctor's care. Its not like you are a drug addict shooting up in alley.

Getting help should be applauded not punished.

You are doing the rights things. Cheers to you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Family man,

Have you been documenting your WW's behavior,actions,statements and tracking her wherebouts by chance? If you haven't so far then start now.See about getting cell phone records and credit statements,etc.Anything and everything to back up your case against her should things get ugly.

Don't leave the home either.I don't know about Florida but in my state,it is only considered abandonment if the WS or spouse has left the home and has been gone for a year or more.And I highly doubt that being on medication shows you are an unfit parent.If anything it shows that you care about your health and therefore your children by seeking medical attention.

O

She is slaying me. I feel as if emotional homocide is being committed. For the past weeks I have been reluctant to leave the house and hurrying to get back when I worked or was out. Today was the first day I felt, actually afraid to come home. Scared of the pain that was waiting for me. I talked to a dear friend for an hour before coming home.

When I got home, I said hello! How was your day. WW responded... Don't even talk to me!

I sat on the porch to finish my cigar. She had been out there earlier because her computer was out there. She came out, picked up her laptop, looked at me and smirked. She smirked and walked into the house. When I went in she had it set up in the kitchen with her Yahoo msgr. signed on.

After dinner, (the first she's cooked in over a week,) she smirked and took the laptop into the bedroom. She's in there now chatting with OM.

<small>[ July 06, 2004, 11:50 AM: Message edited by: 1Tin Man ]</small>

Just curious... is the internet in your name? Who pays the bills for these things?

dewt

Dewt, I pay all the bills. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

What the hell does this mean?

Just got done talking to my sister at 11:30pm. My WW just asked me who I dialed after I hung up from my sister. I didn't dial anybody.

She accused me of lieing about calling somebody. I told her I didn't call anybody but what if I did. She said she was just wondering who I might be calling at 11:30pm.

She frequently has all night phone calls with her internet friend. She slept till 11:00 am today, probably cause she was up all night with him. I worked last night.

She hit the redial on the phone. Looked at it then walked out to the porch. A few minutes later she came in and said, with a smirk, "I'm sorry, I thought you were calling my cell phone."
(presumibly to check to see if she was talking to OM)

She just now asked me if I could sleep on the couch tonight. Ughhhhh! I told her sorry no.

Is that LB'ing

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 1Family Man:
<strong> She just now asked me if I could sleep on the couch tonight. Ughhhhh! I told her sorry no.

Is that LB'ing </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is nothing disrespectful about declining her disrespectful and rude request. You did the right thing. Let her sleep on the couch if she wants to sleep alone. There is no reason for you to leave your bed.

and come home again so we can be a family. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Kids

<small>[ July 14, 2004, 05:24 PM: Message edited by: 1Tin Man ]</small>

1fm:

"Dewt, I pay all the bills."

Stop paying those bills. No ISP, or change the password so she has no more access 2 it. No cell phone, unless she sells lemonade out front 2 pay for it.

Hardball. ...Just a suggestion.

-ol' 2long

Yes,agreed.If you are paying all the bills and WW is a SAHM then stop financing her affair! Pull the plug!

Then watch as the smirks start to turn into frowns.Geeze.

So what exactly did the lawyers tell you that wasn't good news? At the very least,if your WW is thinking of moving to another state,that won't fly and she eventually will have to find a job to help support herself and I'm sure that will be somewhat of a shock.No more money tree to abuse.

I am also sure that your WW and the OM are plotting and scheming but you need to protect yourself and those kids.I would suggest a second opinion on the lawyer path too.Remember that like doctors,some lawyers are better than other's and taking only one's advice isn't in your best interest right now.

O

She has her own laptop.

About 10 years ago she ran up over $15000 in cc debt that I didn't know about until it was almost a disaster.


I believe she'd keep the kids here and travel to see him regularly. Until all her money was gone, and then come to me for more.

<small>[ July 14, 2004, 05:25 PM: Message edited by: 1Tin Man ]</small>

....

<small>[ July 06, 2004, 11:55 AM: Message edited by: 1Tin Man ]</small>

I wish, oh I wish I had some advise. Maybe do what the lawyers say and pay everything off now while you have the chance?

Everything is NOT over, hang in there - everyone here on this site will get ya through this.

Even on Fathers Day, it is relentless.

Earlier this week my sister called and talked to the kids. She reminded them that Fathers Day was Sunday. When WW found out she had tizzy. Thought my sister was interfering and inferring she was a bad mom. WW said she isn't that cruel.

Went to church, WW came to church too. During he homily she leans over and begins in again about my sister. SHe asks if I am going over there for dinner since she is so "worried" about me. WW says she "just" wants to know if she should cook. I just got off a 48 hour straight duty tour and the kids told me that she didn't cook at all while I was at work.

I may have LB'd. Right in church. Told her that she can't miss an opportunity to stab me straight in the heart. SHe says it's my sisters fault, that she is just trying to find out if I'm going to home today for dinner.

Came home from church and stayed outside

<small>[ July 14, 2004, 05:26 PM: Message edited by: 1Tin Man ]</small>

When are divorce laws going to change? Makes you almost not want to get married. There is no justice for adultery except I heard in TX. Familyman should not be paying for sh** after what his WW is doing. She is choosing to leave and she should get nothing for it.