situation is similar for me too, no emotions. OM was definitely safe choice for me, being 14yrs younger than me and not in any way shape or form looking to have a longterm relationship grow out of this. for me that meant i had no worries of if this person loved me, it was a given he did not, therefore no risk of heart being hurt.
i know for my situation that is EXACTLY what i wanted. i wanted the feelings of being connected to someone WITHOUT true emotions. the LAST thing i wanted at the time was to have anyone be "in love" with me.
sometimes i wonder if that is really how i have felt my entire life. which would not make me a very healthy partner in any marriage.
and yet we liked each other, the closest we got to that was both at times saying... "if our lives were more at the same stage, we would be probably really good together"
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I’ve told you (and W) in the past that there was never an emotional connection between me and OP (other pig). </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">do you see her as a pig now? </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> There were never any feelings at all. I did talk to OP a lot on the phone, but not about PH & OP.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">what is PH and OP(other person?)
i don't see OM in a negative light even now. i figure i should, but i don't. i think i had a higher opinion of him before, there were times i felt a strong fondness towards him. now i see him more clearly, but still not negatively. i think he is a sexual addict myself (maybe i am too...) of course it was very wrong of him to sleep with a married person, but i was worse, they were MY vows that got broken, not his. he had no problem sleeping with some other man's wife, that is wrong and yet i don't seem to really hold that against him. he did NOT persue me, mislead me or anything. when i wanted him to back off, he would, completely.
he had qualities in him that i really liked and even admired. i think he will end up being a great H when he grows up and commits to a person. does this mean i am still in some fog? i don't feel like i am in any fog. i don't want a life with him. i just don't think poorly of him either. i hope he has a great life.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Also, I wasn’t even physically attracted to OP! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OM was the smallest person (i don't mean his weight) that i have ever seen, in fact had issues being able to get going and stay going (although i must admit, it was a huge ego boost that those issues didn't exist much with me which he was thrilled about). he was not handsome, but he was pleasant looking, a bit over weight, but kind eyes and a nice smile and a very gentle demeanor which was probably the biggest attraction for me.
so i completely understand the "safe" thing. i knew it at the time too.
i feel like such an odd ball here sometimes. my eyes were pretty wide open the entire time. i am not like so many others that got all "foggy" and could not see right. and then got "better" cuz the fog lifted.
i could not see my H very clearly, that is for sure. i think that is what was changing. but now things are so distant between us again... although H seems just fine with how things are going.
i'm screwing this up so terribly robby.
IC should not tell you you are an idiot, pig or smock, should he????? geeze!!!
