Rap,

P.S. - I think most of us realize that there is more to you and your husband and your situation than we can possibly know through a discussion forum. Whatever each of you may say about the other, we take it with a grain of salt. People say and do incredible things when in pain. I like to think of anger as "love turned to pain". That is how I feel, anyway, when I'm angry.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Julie

Dear onlywords,

Hope you don’t mind me jumping in whilst you are waiting for RAP to reply.

I have seen something in the post which you just sent which has made me feel so relieved because it was bothering me terrible, yet I couldn’t face telling you all…

Just for the record....I haven't said this before....but I have also felt "repulsed" by my husband. I didn't tell him that, because I was sure it wasn't because he IS repulsive. I'm not sure where that comes from. But it has subsided

It isn’t in any way because my dear supportive husband IS , it is just how I am feeling and I can’t even bear him touching me or my head or anything.

It scares me to feel like that, and do you mind me asking how it subsided with you?

I would be so grateful if you could share a bit as this is a worry to me. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thanks so much.

Kas

Hi BV and onlywords,

PLEASE tell me how the "repulsed" feeling subsided. It has been there a while. I will crush my husband if I can't get past this. I know he already kind of knows.

There are some things he could do to change it, but I am not sure it is time to address them.

BV,

The truth is I stayed behind to see OM. That is the truth. The other half is also true. 50/50


I am a mess. After seeing him, I have more resolve than ever to find my OWN self-esteem. Believe it or not. I know he is not the solution to my self-esteem, but I still crave his attention.


He still sees me as a friend. He treats me as a friend. He has many friends whether they are like me or were never involved with him physically.

He treats me as if nothing has ever happened. There is a lot I am still in denial over and confused about.

I am not dumb enough to believe everything, but he is definitely a paradox. It is not using just plain and simple. I think he has enough guilt that he tries to assuage it by "taking care" of me.

He knows I cannot train with him anymore, so he is trying to get me with a comparable trainer that is a friend of his.

He told him "I have a good friend that is a go-getter in training, and I would like to set her up with you."

Of course, OM offerred to train me again, and I said I could not do that. He knows.

He is trying to make it better for his own guilt. NOt because he thinks I will tell. He is depending on the fact that I do not want to hurt his wife. He knows how much I do not want to hurt her. even when I am angry , he does not believe I will tell.

I have to tell. I have been spending a lot of time today figuring out a way to tell that would be successful. It will make a big difference how it is done. I want to make sure she cannot be deceived. Believe it or not, that does mean a lot to me.

I know this HAS to happen.

I am sorry to dissappoint you all. I have disappointed myself.

He asked me over to get sand from the pool they are putting in so I can fill in holes from plants in my yard. He is doing all he can not to feel guilty. Amazing.

I know. I am acting stupid and selfish. Iknow.

I will tell you all whatever you need to know. I need help. I obviously am not committed enough to stop this on my own.

I wish I could be attracted to my H. It is a HUGE issue! Bigger than I know how to deal with.

I am sorry.

I am so unhappy. This is showing me that OM does not fill the hole in me. Nothing does. How do I get whole? I am scared I never will. I know God is the answer, but I am still scared I will not "get it."

My heart is running away full speed. Even from OM. I have these images from my past. Running to friends that drink and party to "lose" myself.

YOu have to understand. I am ashamed. But I was NEVER a sl**. I was never easy. My H was my first until now.

What happened to me? Even when I was not a Christian (up until about 18 years old), and did worldly things, I never was physically easy.

What is wrong with me that I cannot find the strength to do this right? I feel completely lost.

I am sorry girls. I am truly ashamed.

I wanted to share something I realized that attracted me to OM so much.

It was one of those differences between H an OM.

I know I never saw OM in "real life" but still I saw the difference.

It has to do with how a person deals with anger.

I know I have always been too sensitive, but I just run away at the sight of anger. I would test OM in this area. Strange how I did that. His personality was just different. He might have been using me, but he was an even-keel personality. There was comfort in that. I did not expect anger from him. I could take indifference, not anger. Weird, huh?

Just trying to figure out why I found a man like OM (who lacks so much integrity) more comforting than my H. It is very unfair to H.

Just thoughts. I know I must be off-base. I am willing to listen to advice.

Pam

Dear RAP,

Was jus about to log off and then saw your post.

Don’t be upset.

I knew why you had really stayed home, because that is what I would have done for that very reason..To see OM.

Can you say when, where, how you met him? Did you just talk or did anything happen?

Understand if you cant answer at the moment.

Don’t be afraid though. We are here and care for you so much. I can’t believe how similar are thought patterns are in this. Your struggles and answers and trying to work through them are as if it is me posting those thoughts.

PLEASE tell me how the "repulsed" feeling subsided. It has been there a while. I will crush my husband if I can't get past this. I know he already kind of knows.

I hope onlywords can give us some hope in this, as this is what I asked her too.

I am a mess. After seeing him, I have more resolve than ever to find my OWN self-esteem. Believe it or not. I know he is not the solution to my self-esteem, but I still crave his attention.

Am messed up too after seeing OM yesterday. The feelings of wanting contact are even stronger now. To get an answer. To just know …what? ….that he cared?...that I was just used?.... Will it make it easier to know? Probably not. But like you I am still drawn to him. Why? I don’t know.

He still sees me as a friend. He treats me as a friend. He has many friends whether they are like me or were never involved with him physically.


He treats me as if nothing has ever happened. There is a lot I am still in denial over and confused about.

Am struggling to understand how OM in my case just seemingly walks away. Yes, in his way to him I will be taken care of by a H which OM knew loved me. So his reasoning will be “she is ok.” (Even though he has no idea the mess am in)

Dear RAP. We are both at the point we need to accept that we can’t find ‘what we are somehow looking for’ in both our OM… We need to know we have self worth in God. We need to know that FIRST before we try to work out feelings with H, because our relationship with God is the one thing that can put it all into perspective for us.

He is trying to make it better for his own guilt. NOt because he thinks I will tell. He is depending on the fact that I do not want to hurt his wife. He knows how much I do not want to hurt her. even when I am angry , he does not believe I will tell.

You are being manipulated by him showing his ‘care’ and ‘feelings’ for you, and he is counting on you to let them build up in you, for his protection against thinking you won’t tell his W because you wouldn’t want to hurt his family.

How do I know this? Because it worked and succeeded on me….. I believe OM in both our cases want to protect themselves, their future, their jobs, their face, their families etc all for their SAKE so they don’t have to ‘admit’ and lose anything. I am in it too RAP and it is tearing me inside out.


I am sorry to disappoint you all. I have disappointed myself.

You haven't disappointed. You are still in withdrawal and denial. Natural feelings.

I wish I could be attracted to my H. It is a HUGE issue! Bigger than I know how to deal with.

I am sorry.

I am so unhappy. This is showing me that OM does not fill the hole in me. Nothing does. How do I get whole? I am scared I never will. I know God is the answer, but I am still scared I will not "get it."not committed enough to stop this on my own.

It is me speaking as you speak. I truly understand. Believe me I am at this spot you are exactly.

What was your mantra you just said on the other thread??

God is bigger than our problems….Our problems are not too big that He can’t solve.

My heart is running away full speed. Even from OM. I have these images from my past. Running to friends that drink and party to "lose" myself.

YOu have to understand. I am ashamed. But I was NEVER a sl**. I was never easy. My H was my first until now.

Same for me… Husband too was my first until now.

I wanted to share something I realized that attracted me to OM so much.

I wanted to share something I realized that attracted me to OM so much.

It was one of those differences between H an OM.

I know I never saw OM in "real life" but still I saw the difference.

I understand. I feel the same. You are speaking to me.


Just trying to figure out why I found a man like OM (who lacks so much integrity) more comforting than my H. It is very unfair to H.

We will get through this together with all the help from others on here. Believer said earlier we can move on and that the enemy is trying to stop this. We can move on RAP and find our ministry again in God.. You dancing and speaking to others. Me speaking?

It is an awesome thought, but maybe we could one day even beat the Proverbs 31 lady who eludes us at the present time….but one day….

Keep posting. Keep venting. Keep sharing.

If you can, please say if you had physical with OM since you have been on your own. Any kind at all? I believe it will help you to share?

Its nearly midnite again here. Will go to bed now,

Take care <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

God bless and am praying for all you guys here,

Love

Kas
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

BV,

I know you need to go to bed. Idon't want to keep you up.

But are you still there? Kind of hope you have been able to fall asleep for yourself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Pam

You said in one of your posts RAP... I want to feel for my H the way I feel with OM. I want it with my H.

Are you sure thats what you want?

Affair partners tend to feed one to two needs at most. A good marriage sustains and fills all and more.It just takes good communication.

You then went onto to say... I guess I have stayed with H because I know what we could be.

Do you?....If you want it go and get it...before its too late. One day at a time.

My words may seem harshat times...but certainly not as harsh as the end of your marriage will be.

You may have thought you were vunerable before your affair and thats how you stumbled into it... facts are those in the know say your at your most vunerable now, left wide open, betrayed and wallowing in the marsh of the aftermath...I have no doubt you shared a lot of your inner self with the OM..and the pull to go back and prod it,just to see if it was real is overwhelming. Everyone here can empathise with that. Only you control that choice. Choose it.

I would like to answer these few questions for yourself.

Where do you want to see yourself one year from now?

What steps would you take to get there?


Max

Madmax,

I will do my best to respond. I am not good at putting my thoughts on paper, so bear with me. Also, the alcohol could me contributing.


You said in one of your posts RAP... I want to feel for my H the way I feel with OM. I want it with my H.

Are you sure thats what you want?

Yes. I am sure that is what I want. No question. It has not been there for a long time. It has been an issue that I have not found a solution to for a long time. Maybe MC would have helped. I know IC would have helped. I am also figuring out his anger reactions have a lot to do with it. Not that he would agree. I would be the first to say I am much too sensitive to anger.


Affair partners tend to feed one to two needs at most. A good marriage sustains and fills all and more.It just takes good communication.

I would tend to agree here. Believe it or not, OM made me feel safe and taken care of. Physically a desire that I had not felt for H was met too.

I am not sure it was a case of good communication. I believe I came to a place where I saw no solutions and no action taken to the problems. Again, I am one-sided and definitely not a completely “whole” personality. I still do not have the complete hope I need to believe I can “feel” what I need to again.


You then went onto to say... I guess I have stayed with H because I know what we could be.

Do you?....If you want it go and get it...before its too late. One day at a time.

Okay. Please tell me how. What I really want is my H to step back and let me just “be” here for a while without expectations. I realize I “owe” him much, but is it wrong to just ask to let me go along for a while until I feel the strength to “do” what needs to be done? (Yes, that does include NC with OM. If I can honestly accomplish this.) No anger, no tension, just an understanding that I do want this, but I don’t feel CAPABLE at all of “doing” anything right now.


My words may seem harshat times...but certainly not as harsh as the end of your marriage will be.

Your words do not seem harsh at all. Not as harsh as what I feel from H a lot of the time. The end of my marriage would be awful. But in all honesty, I would end it if only to escape the anger and pain. It is no excuse, but I am realizing the things from my past are influencing me very much now. I cannot STAND being afraid that my H will change his feelings moment to moment. One minute nice, the next hurt, the next angry. That is not fair of me, but I would rather leave than live through it again in my life.

I would like to answer these few questions for yourself.

Where do you want to see yourself one year from now?

More than anything, in a year from now, I would like to see myself know who I am without anyone having to tell me. I would like to be secure enough in myself that I could love my H only because I CHOOSE to and am not afraid of losing him. I would like to be the kind of woman that is a blessing to her family and is not constantly trying to protect herself from pain.


What steps would you take to get there?

I am not sure of all the steps I need to take to get there. I know I need IC. I am attempting to get the Word of God in me as to what He thinks of me so I am not so dependant on others’ opinions.

I am willing to cut off OM, but I am selfish. I fear my H will lose interest while I work things out in my own heart. I am not willing to take that risk. So I don’t have a real plan. I have to work on that , I guess.


Your input is appreciated. I have come to realize I need help in this. So I am willing to listen.

Pam

RaP, Hi Ky here, I'm also a FWW. I'm almost fog free, I get a bit foggy sometimes, it sneaks up on me.

You can do this. It will absolutely require NC.

I have only read your last post and bits and pieces of a few others about you.
Sounds like you are having a very hard time.
{{{{{hug}}}}}

My H has a very hard time showing me respect and admiration. I was telling my IC he is smothering me to death, and just wants this all over with, NOW!!!! He really thinks he can boss this thing away.

I was told he needs to respect what I am capable to give. I'm not fully recovered. I need full accecptance of my feelings, he doesn't need to like them or approve of them, but they are feelings I am having and he needs to respect them.

Like, you I can't shut these feelings off, and I'm doing the best I can to save our M. I'm doing the best I can with the way I feel right now, and my H like yours needs to accept out of respect for us as human beings.

NO it is not right that we had an A, but we did, and now we are trying to make it right, but we, like them need to recover, and it isn't easy.

Wow, can you follow that. I hope so. I'm so sorry you are struggling. You will feel so much better a bit at a time as the days go by.

KY

Ladies -

Good to hear from you again. The recoiling, and being repulsed by your husband is perfectly normal while you are still "addicted" to OM. That will change. It is just very uncomfortable right now.

My WH is the same way. He has no desire to be with me that way. We have tried. What normal man would not want to have 2 women? But he feels like he must be faithful to OW.

RAP - I have the same issues as you about anger. I grew up in a house where there was constant anger and shouting matches. It was horrible. As a young child, I decided I would never be like that. So I grew up avoiding anger. Really I never even felt angry. It is not a good way to live. People do get angry, and it is a natural thing.

You ladies are doing okay for the point you are at. Do not feel ashamed. (How many times will I have to persuade you?) This is a hard thing to get through, but you will do it.

It will not be pleasant in the meantime, but you are doing the best you can. Do not give up.

RaP & Believer,

there was so much anger in my home growing up, mostly directed towards my brother and I.

My C asked me at our first appt. Is anger a bad thing. I instantly wanted to say He11 Yes!!! I could see she was feeling me out though so I tried to be coy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Didn't work she seen right through me.

I avoid confrontation at all cost, I am never angry, I am never mad. Well I am, but I hide it.

Your right Believer it is natural, you just need to express it in a different way that we as children was shown. That is when it is wrong.

Thanks KY

Ky4,

Thank you for your post. I have been following you on the jelly thread and I love it. Same twisted sense of humor as mine.

I know it is not fair to ask of H, but having had a couple days away from him, I can honestly say I can do this if he can give me time. I need LOTS of space. He is NOT able to do that now. Don't know what to do with that . I am definitely not going to live with an atmosphere of anger anymore. I have made that decision for sure. Even if it risks the marraige.

I love your thread. We need humor like that . One day when I am not a black cloud <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , I will join you guys. Too new to this withdrawal to be enough fun yet.

believer,

Thank you too. I wish I knew you in person. I would make you take a walk with me tonight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I am about to go. Miss my family. Can't believe now I stayed behind. I am still enjoying the peace to myself, though.

My concern about the physical with H is that it was there a LONG time before A. I have felt ashamed over this and confused for a while. He was my first. I was soooooo taken with him in college that I almost flunked out! Full scholarship and all. He took my breath away.

So I don't understand what happened inside me.

I am sure your H is just confused. You are a great woman. I really wish I could meet you. Like I said, I would drag you on my walk with me tonight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pam

RaP, I will be waiting for you in my little neck of the woods then. I hope it will be soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I told Robby13, my H is so far up my butt he is coming out my nose.

I had to tell him to back off, he was killing me.

You have to be honest with your H, he needs to know he is pushing you away.

I am with you, I will not tolerate certain behavior now. I've learned so much from my A, it will make my M better, and my H is very willing as am I to change things for us.

I will be rooting for you, that your H will come around, my H is a completely different man. Totally changed for the better. I hope your man gets there as well.

KY-4

RAP -

I would go on a walk with you too. We are having a neighborhood party tonight for the 4th of July. I am cooking things, and we are going to barbecue steaks, chicken and hot dogs.

The attraction WILL come back for your husband. I think you two will have to start all over, just like you are dating again. Things can be restored.

I give Broken Vessel credit for making an attempt, even if it was no frills. Maybe it was the wine.

believer,

I am so glad you have something fun to do. Eat a couple hot dogs for me.

You deserve the fellowship. Have fun. Enjoy yourself.

Thanks for the encouragement. I really need it right now.

Blessings,
Pam

Yes. I am sure that is what I want. No question. It has not been there for a long time


Think again is it?...you chose to marry your husband, set up home and bare children with your husband...you dont want to do that with the OM do you?

Can you please explain what your differences are
between the commited love you married for and the ecstatic love you committed adultery for?

Some people dislike anger,...I personally think it is one of the greatest emotions we have. Because if it is accepted as a natural response to pain...it has the abilty to motivate change in oneself.

Anger also has the abilty to mutate...resentment and rage..I would suspect with your indifference to your personal and marital recovery is feeding your husbands anger.

If I can understand that from 10,000 klms away, tell me what stops you from seeing that?

You cant stop him from being angry at times
, but you can certainly change your responses to it. Change your behaviour in other words.It aint rocket science.

Max

you also said..

Okay. Please tell me how. What I really want is my H to step back and let me just “be” here for a while without expectations.

Translation........this is just too hard to cope with..LET ME WALLOW

I am not sure of all the steps I need to take to get there. I know I need IC. I am attemptingto get the Word of God in me as to what He thinks of me so I am not so dependant on others' opinions.

Whats that saying...GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES? Get yourself into IC.


I fear my H will lose interest while I work things out in my own heart. I am not willing to take that risk. So I don't have a real plan. I have to work on that , I guess.

SO.....why take the risk...make a plan..tell me what do you think your options are?

YOU guess?...you guessed right


Max.

RAP and BV,

Wow...where do I start? Rap, I too thought my husband was "hot", and felt that way about him for a very very long time...in retrospect I'd say the passionate feelings started to fade as he got busier and busier with everything and anything other than me. The only time I got his undivided attention was when he wanted "sex", and even then it was after everything else was done for the day...naturally he was not at his best and didn't seem at all concerned about "satisfying" me. Well, stupid me....I kept waiting and waiting for some magical time when things would get back to normal. Obviously, it didn't. And I didn't say anything, because in my faulty thinking, I decided that if I had to TELL him what to give me to make me happy, then it would seem more like and obligation than that he actually wanted to....I figured if he WANTED to, he would have. I realize that is the wrong way to think, but that is what I thought, nonetheless.
Ok, now comes this OM....he wasn't pushy about sex. He liked talking to me. He was interesting and found me interesting and smart and he told me so. He took time out of his day just to see me, and it didn't always end up in sex...in fact, 75% of the time it didn't and it was ok. During those times there was affection....non-sexual contact...the intimacy we want as women. With my husband, it seemed I could not KISS him or HUG him or even TOUCH him without him wanting MORE. After a while, that becomes a huge TURN-OFF. I know you know what I mean! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
So, next comes the discovery of the affair. We repent. He forgives. And during our attempt to figure out what the H#@L happened, we have our husbands and other people telling us that the OM was only after one thing...sex. As if we don't feel bad enough, we are being told, basically, that there is NO WAY that OM could possibly have found anything interesting about us other than our bodies. Our husbands seem to be saying that nobody can love us better than them, that their love is TRUE and OM's is a "lie". Wait, didn't I read on some posts from men that to them "Love=sex"????? Well, if that's true, (and that is what they keep telling us to get us to give them sex as a reassurance that things will be ok ) then why does that not also apply to OM? It's a mixed message we are getting.
I asked Recovering H if he would say he was being "pushy" about being intimate. He said no, he didn't think he was. He said he just wanted a touch or a hug or a kiss...some small token. Well, the reason I didn't want to was because in the past, those things, when given, always made him think I wanted sex, or left him wanting more. I COULD NOT deal with having sex, because in the aftermath of my affair, that seemed to be his obsession....it was all about the sex, it was all he could think about. It seemed to be all he wanted to know about. Again, the message I got was "The only thing you're good for is sex". And all the while, he's trying to tell me OM is a loser because that's all he wanted?
Whew. I hope I explained that clearly.
Well, I can tell you that as soon as he stopped talking about OM as though he only thought of me as a sex object and stopped obsessing over the sexual side of the affair, I started to feel better and the repulsiveness started to subside. It isn't where I want it to be, but I am still hopeful.
You know, guys, it IS possible for someone else to find your wife interesting and smart and funny and everything you always thought she was....why would you think it would help to tell her that's not possible???????
RAP, OM didn't have as much time and emotions wrapped up in you to have the capacity to get as angry as your husband. That does NOT mean he didn't care about you. I don't know what to say here, because I don't know either your husband or OM enough to say!
One more thing I want to say...I believe that answers only come as you live life. You can't "wait around" for them. I made that mistake so many times. But after what I went through with this affair, I found that if I kept plugging along as best I could, trying to be as "normal" as I could, answers would come in small, quiet, seemingly innocuous moments. And the affect was much stronger-and gentler- than they would have been if someone had stood over me and shouted the answers to me.
What I'm saying, I guess, is....don't stop your life or put it on hold until you have the answers. Stepping out in faith is like starting the journey before you have the map. I don't think anyone ever learned anything worth learning without making a mistake in the process.

I hope this helped at least a little. When I start to feel overwhelmed by so much "thinking", and I OFTEN do....I step away from it. In the beginning you kind of have to FORCE yourself to get your focus off all this. But you will get better with practice. I assure you, your subconscious will still be mulling it over, but it won't be so noisy and obnoxious about it as your conscious mind! And then you may be surprised at what you hear!

Hang in there...what I'm seeing is that you don't want to compromise yourself to make your marriage work....and that is a good thing, but it is the road less traveled.

Love to all of you!

Julie

onlywords -

I know exactly what you mean by affection always having to lead to sex. Yuck! Men just don't get that. My best feelings were affection from my WH which did not lead to sex.

And I am not one to believe that OM is always using the WW. I know my WH truly cares for his OW. I have seen his love letters.

But back to the point. I think people just slip into a relationship that is not appropriate before they even realize it. The hard part is getting out of it.

And that goes back to figuring out what the OP was providing that was so desperately needed.

In my case, I should have been the one to have the affair. I was not getting my needs met. Once we got married WH stopped trying. SF was boring, but I just did it kind of like mopping the floor. I kept hoping things would get better.

I think my marriage is pretty much over. I need someone to be the leader, and care for me, like I care for him.

The funny thing is WH does everything for OW. He does things he would never do for me. Little does she know that once he is sure of her, she will be put on the back burner, and everything will be more important than her. That is his pattern.

Believer - I think my marriage is pretty much over.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Sorry to hear that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Can I jump in on the sexual touching and how even a hug has to turn into sex talk.

OMG, what is it with them. My H always says, if you would show me more affection I would back off. NOPE, he just wants more SF. It doesn't matter what I try, he is still all over me.

Should I be flattered??? My C suggested a book for him to read. Every Mans Battle. I have yet to get it because things are better.

My H says it is absolutely how he feels loved. We are also reading Venus and Mars in the Bedroom, it states that the more out of touch with emotions and sentiment that a man is the more SF he requires because that is his way to touch that said of himself.

So let him touch himself then, I say. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> J/K

I also believe that my OM truly cared about me. I fulfilled many things for him, and he for I. I do believe we used each other, but on a very deep level. My H would love to convince me otherwise, and completely believes I was preyed upon.

Why isn't this a perfect world, where nobody gets hurt????

KY

Hi all.

I just got a call from my H down in Florida.

He has decided he wants a D. He called my mom to tell her he was sending me home.

He called our MC to tell them.

He threatened to tell the children everything. I asked him to please wait about the children. They did not need to hear this.

He said he did not believe I would tell them the truth.

Who would tell a 13, 8, and 4 year old all about what I have done?

Do THEY really need to know the details? I am PRAYING he does not do this to them.

He can do what he wants to me, but I hope he has the sense to leave them out.

I guess I have won the prize for how quickly someone can end a marriage.

I have no idea what to do now.

Pam